Category Archives: Personal

Says 59 – Helping ex-wife move and looking for another place

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My ex-wife moved to her new apartment on the end of June and I helped her move some stuff and then set up the apartment, like move furniture, hang window blinds and coverings, ceiling fan, bed frame and headboard, put together new dining room table and chairs, organize closets, hang pictures, etc.

After several discussions, the property owner finally put a temperature sensor upstairs that is linked to the main control downstairs. While that is fine and dandy, they also can’t keep their hands off it. The A/C kicks in at various times and temperatures. Sometimes it operates between 24 – 26 degrees, and then other times it’s working from between 27 – 29 degrees C. Then on top of that, they turn it on at different times and it’s always turned off by 8:00 pm leaving the upper level to sweat through the night as the sun is still out and the building is hot and the temperature rises to over 32C. Other days when they think it’s going to be cooler, (27 degrees C) they open the door and windows to let the breeze though but it’s now and humid. Other times, the A/C is on and the windows and doors are open. Their A/C unit is on and the downstairs is cool, but the upstairs is like an oven.

I put an ad on Kijiji, stating that I looking for a furnished, all-inclusive one bedroom or bachelor apartment as I could not see myself staying where I am. I’m also looking for another room, but there isn’t anything new, or if there is, they specifically want a working person, student or a female. What is new is also not acceptable to me, as it’s either smoking, in a basement, or in a rundown dirty house.

Says 58 – Things crawling out of the woodwork

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2012 June 21 Well things are interesting. The weather has been hot (high 20’s and low 30’s C) and the rooms are supposed to be air conditioned, but whenever the landlords (that are living downstairs) are asked why it’s not working, they come up with different excuses, and that they are having it checked out. They had put a sign on the outside door to keep the door closed because the A/C was on. After talking with them and knowing they were blowing smoke, I wrote on the bottom of the sign. “What air conditioning” and signed it.

The woman that moved in across the hallway from me on June 16, moved out today. She was totally pissed off with the runaround she was getting in that she had flown in from Vancouver and had been told that she would have a large room, (my room) and that the room was fully furnished with bedding and that the kitchen was also fully functional and that there was only one other woman living there. Well her room is small and sparely furnished. It also has two large windows facing South and West, and with the A/C not working, needless to say, her room was like an oven. Besides that, there are three men living on the same floor and sharing the kitchen and bathroom. She was also getting shit for leaving her window open when she left for work as she didn’t want to come home to a sauna, and didn’t know that the A/C would be turned on later that day.

A couple of days after she left, the property owner came upstairs and asked me where the “Princess” went? I asked what princess, and he motioned with his head to the woman that was in the room across the hall from mine. I told him I didn’t know and asked why he called her a Princess. He said that she was a real whiner and he thought that because I was single and she was married and not bad looking, that I would have had made a move on her and would know where she went. I looked at him in disgust and shaking my head, said, “Well with that same redneck chauvinist mentality, then you have to also think that I may be putting the move on your wife if all I wanted was a fuck. He looked puzzled and as he scratched his baldhead and mumbled, “I never thought of that. I’ll have to think about that,” With that he turned and left.

Says 57 – Arrived in Woodstock

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June 10 Sunday, 5:30 pm I arrived in Woodstock and stayed at my ex-wife’s apartment while I looked for a place to stay. I arrived on Sunday evening and my daughter who was expecting and out visiting friends, went into labour and had boy (Max) 5 lbs 12 oz at around 4:00 am on Monday morning.

June 11, My first order of business was to get my vehicle safety inspected and emissions tested so that I could get it licensed. It passed with flying colours, but I had a haste with a woman at the license place who tried to make me believe that the Saskatchewan dealer never gave me the proper papers.
I called the dealer and while he was on the phone, I tried to get her to talk to him so that he could send down the missing papers, but she refused. She reluctantly said she would call head office while I waited to the side. I thanked the salesman from Regina Honda for his time and ended the call and waited.

It turned out that while she was on the telephone, I overheard the ignorant bitch say that she had never registered a vehicle from Saskatchewan. She then asked me for the same papers I gave her before and not saying a word, she did her job as she was walked through the process. She then tried to charge me GST that I had already paid in Saskatchewan and I called her on that, and she quietly corrected her mistake. There was no need to say anything more as she knew, her co-workers knew and all the 15 people waiting in line knew that she had fucked up as I overheard those that had been in line when I was having the issue, tell the others who were asking what the problem was.

June 13, I found a place and will be moving in on June 14. It’s an old Victorian house with 5 rooms on the second floor that are being rented out. There are presently two young guys and one woman living there and another woman will be moving in on Saturday. I have one of the largest rooms, measuring about 15 x 15 feet with a closet. It also has a queen size bed, night table, dresser, bookshelf, computer table, small drop-leaf table with two chairs, a small bar fridge, LCD TV, cable TV and wireless internet. We all share the kitchen and washroom that are also quite large.

Says 56 – Back in Regina and finishing up last minute business.

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May 26 – May 31 Recuperating , and beginning to feel better. A couple of days later I cleaned up the Toyota Tercel to get it ready to sell and posted it on Kijiji.

June 01 While I got enquiries for the Toyota, I never got any offers as people were leery of buying a car from Ontario that was not safety inspected and certified. I decided to spend the $125.00 and got it certified, which not only increased my odds at selling it, but also in getting closer to the price I was asking for it.

June 02 – 04 I started going through my things and began packing up the Honda CR-V. On Monday morning, June 04, I sold the Tercel to a young woman. Having sold the Tercel, I now had to arrange to get a temporary day permit as well as an inter-provincial permit that would allow me to drive the Honda CR-V back to Woodstock Ontario.

I had previously told my Mother that when I sold the car that I would drop her off at her sisters place some 150 miles from Regina and I called her telling her that I would be leaving on Wednesday. She said she wanted to go, but that she also wanted to go to the funeral of my brother’s father-in-law that had died on the weekend. I then told her that I would leave on Thursday. Tuesday night she called me telling me that she now didn’t want to go, that she wasn’t feeling that well, so my plans changed again. It would be a rush to try to pack up and leave on Wednesday morning so I decided to stay with the Thursday departure.

June 06 On Wednesday morning I had just put gas in my Honda, and was driving away from the gas pumps when a strong gust of wind blew a heavy garbage can off a raised platform and against the driver’s and passenger side door, denting and scratching them. I complained to the attendant who told me to take my vehicle to a scratch and dent shop and that Superstore (where I bought the gas) would pay for it. I went to the place he mentioned and after getting an estimate of $275.00, I was told that it would take 2 -3 weeks before they could fix it. I had no time to wait so I asked him to give me the estimate in writing so that I could get my money from Superstore.

I took it back to the attendant and after contacting his supervisor, informed me to get the vehicle fixed in Ontario and to send the bill to him. I really had no other option as I wanted to leave tomorrow and I still had to pack up the Honda.
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Says 55 – I’m Back on my Blog – Basic details of my trip out West

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I’m not going to go into any details, but simply give you an outline of what has happened these past two months. Seems like time is just flying.

May 22 – Drove to Edmonton where I met an internet friend – Rick
May 23 – 24 From Edmonton, drove to Kamloops, and then the next day to Kelowna where I tried to hook up with some old friends but that was not to be, as the stores had closed and people moved. Picked up some food poisoning from a curried chicken pita I ate for supper.

May 24 – 26 From Kelowna, I drove down to Osoyoos as I was planning to spend some time in the area. After Osoyoos, I was also planning to re-visit some hot springs around Cranbrook that I had been to in 2005 and then stop in and see a friend in Lethbridge on Monday, before heading back to Regina. While I had all these plans, I wasn’t in any mood to do any exploring as I wasn’t feeling well. With the weekend coming up, I decided to skip Osoyoos, and push on to Creston BC where I spent the night. Still not feeling well on Saturday morning, I decided to drive back to Regina, arriving around 8:30 pm.

NOTE: A couple of unusual things happened to me on my trip from Penticton to Cranbrook. I was driving through the mountains when suddenly I got very dizzy and felt disoriented. It felt like I was driving though waves, like the kind you see rising off the pavement on a hot summer day. I felt I had passed though an energy field of some kind that was physically affecting me, so much so that I had to stop and get out of the Honda and get grounded. It wasn’t until later that I realized that this area is the area where there have been minor earthquake activity. So now, I am wondering if what I was feeling and sensing was the energy of the pressure points in the Earths crust that eventually will cause an earthquake. Although the Earthquake map show them as only 2.1 in magnitude, I feel that much larger one will be occurring in this area that will also have a major effect on transportation and other services in this mountainous region.

Says 54 – And plans change again

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I had already cut out a side trip to the Yukon as I felt I would be pushing it, and when I did a mileage check s it turns out that trip was 4,500 km. It doesn’t seem far on a map, but when I began doing some mileage checks of my revised trip, I realized that driving to Port hardy at the end of Vancouver Island in BC meant that I would be driving close to 5,000 km. If I averaged 80km per hour, that would mean that I would be driving for 62 hours, and to do that in 7 days, would mean that I would be driving 9 hours a day, and that’s not holiday!

So I’ve now decided to shorten my trip again, this time to 3260 km, which is 40 hours of driving, (5.8 hours per day.) Now that schedule leaves me some time to enjoy the view, take some pictures and even go off on some side trips. I’d like to spend some more time around Osoyoos and re-visit some hot springs I found back on 2005.

Says 53 – Got a new vehicle and a change in plans.

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2012 May 15 I wanted to get a good look at a Toyota Rav’s and Honda CR-V as I’ve never really checked them out. I decided to stop in at Regina Honda and struck up a conversation with a used car salesman. It just so happened they had three used Hondas on the lot, a 2004, a 2000 and a 1997. The 2004 was out for a test drive for the rest of the day so I looked at the 2000. It looked in good shape and only had 134,000 km on it. I took it for a test drive and liked it so I picked up some money to make an offer. After the third offer, I got it for 10% more than I wanted to pay, but 33% less than he the dealer was asking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I don’t live in Saskatchewan, I had to get a temporary vehicle permit (either 1 day or 8 days) so that I could get the Honda back to my sisters place,. I took the 8 day permit as that  would also enable me to drive it a few days to see if any problems pop up. The permit is only good for Saskatchewan so I can’t take it on my trip out West. Furthermore, I need to get another 7 day inter-provincial permit that is only good from Saskatchewan to wherever my home province is. That means I can’t sell my Tercel before my trip and that I’ll have to take my Toyota Tercel out West and then come back and sell it before I leave for Ontario. With all this, I decided to delete my planned trip up to the Yukon, as that will cut off 3 – 4 days of my trip and give me some time to sell the Tercel when I get back to Regina.

As you can see in the picture, the 2000 Honda CR-V is quite a bit bigger than my 1999 Toyota Tercel. Now I’ll have room to move.

Says 52 – Getting ready for short trip out West before heading back to Ontario

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On may 22 or 23, I’ll be heading further out West, and I’ll be traveling light, meaning that I’m not taking all my stuff on this trip. The first (1) leg of my journey I’ll be heading up to Edmonton to see a friend and from there, I’d like to take a trip up to the Yukon, just to say I’ve been there.  From there, I plan to make my way South through British Columbia to Vancouver and then take the ferry over to Vancouver Island, where I plan to do a little sightseeing.

After that (2) I’ll take the ferry back to Vancouver and begin to make my way back East to Lethbridge to see a friend, and then drop in to see my sister in Calgary, (if she is back from her Regina visit) before heading back to Regina by the end of the month.  My plan is then to take a couple of days to pack up all my stuff and then (3) leave Regina around June 4, or 5 and make my way back to Ontario, stopping in at a couple of friends in MIdland before heading back to Woodstock and area. All this is tentative in not having any more car issues.

Says 51 – Toyota Tercel fixed, looking at SUV’s

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I got my Toyota Tercel fixed on Friday May 11 and it only cost me $252,00 total… and that included having them service my front brake calipers. While it’s fixed, I’m also pissed off as this is the same oxygen sensor that I had replaced back on October 01 2010.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been looking at getting an older, small SUV like a Toyota Rav4, Honda CR-V, (Red Honda in Pic) Hyundai Tucson, and the Mitsubishi Outlander. I had looked at North American SUV’s and the only one I even considered a possibility was the Saturn Vue, even though it’s been discontinued due to the recession of 2008. When I called the dealer and asked how long parts were going to be available, he hesitantly told me that they were already scarce and that any parts had to be ordered from the USA and that usually took a couple of weeks. With that, I decided to cross the Saturn Vue off my list and just stick with the imports. So much for Made in America pride and know how. In my researching SUV’s I was amazed at how many North American cars use Japanese or other countries engines and drive trains. Detroit may have the engineering knowledge to make a better, more fuel efficient vehicle, but they can’t or don’t want to deliver. They are good at selling the sizzle and not the steak. And then, when they get into financial trouble, (like in 2008) it’s the taxpayers that bail them out, thanks to the corrupt and inept government officials.

I feel I need a bigger vehicle with more cargo area than the 11 cubic feet I presently have. I’m looking for something that can carry all my stuff and where I still have some room to move, beside just being able to drive it. I also want a vehicle that is higher off the ground as I’m getting tired of having to watch small things I’m driving over that hit the bottom of the car. I also want a vehicle with bigger tires as the Tercel’s 13 inch wheels just seems to drop into the smallest pot hole, where my old Nissan pickup truck just rolled over them. I’m looking at getting an older 1999 – 2005 vehicle as that is all that I can afford.

I’d like to buy a vehicle out here in Saskatchewan as they use very little salt on the roads in the winter time and the vehicles are not rusty like in Ontario. But buying a car out here is also more complicated as it’s out of province and I still need to get it safety certified and emissions tested back in Ontario if I am to get plates for it there. If I don’t find a reasonable one out West, I’ll just wait until I get back to Ontario and buy one there.

I’ve also started searching Kijiji for a room or a bachelor apartment to rent in Woodstock and the surrounding area. I’ve found a few, but whether they’ll still be there when I get down to Ontario is another question. My ex-wife said that I could stay at her apartment a couple of days while I looked around for a place

Says 47 – Working on finishing editing Book2

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May 01 I’ve been working on editing Book 2 and I’m now up to chapter 19 and 144 pages (8.5×11 pages) I’m trying to put a push on it as I plan to be leaving Regina to head back to Ontario in the early part of June. Before I do, I also plan to take a short trip up to Edmonton, Alberta, then maybe head up to the Yukon just to have a look at the countryside and say that I’ve been there done that. From there I plan to head down to Vancouver and then take the fairy over to Vancouver Island and take a short tour of the Island before beginning my trip back to Regina. Once I’m back in Regina, I’ll pack up all my stuff and then make my way back to Ontario. I plan to drop in to a couple of friends before I make my way back to Woodstock, or area, where I plan to rent a room. Where I’ll go from there, I don’t know.

Says 46 – Oxygen sensor issues with my car

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May 2 Tuesday Last Friday, my mother had been over for a visit and I drove her home. When I left her apartment building, I drove over a speed bump and my 1999 Toyota Tercel hit bottom. A of couple blocks later, I noticed my engine light was on, and my first thought was that something jiggled loose when I hit the bump, even though I didn’t hit it very hard. When I got home, I called the local Toyota dealer, Taylor Motor Sales in Regina, Sask. and made arrangements to take it in on Monday.

I took it in on Monday morning and told them the story of when the light came on. They checked it out and told me that an oxygen sensor was faulty and that they would have to order it. While he told me that, he also presented me with an invoice for $137.50.

I asked the service rep, “Did he check to see if it was a loose connection.”
He said, “No, that they would check it when they put a new one in and that they had to order one.”
I asked, “How does the mechanic know if it’s not just a loose wire and not a faulty sensor if he never physically checked it? I told you I went over a bump and the engine light came on shortly after that.”
His reply was, “If it’s just a loose wire, he’ll see it when he replaces the oxygen sensor.”

I got off my chair and pointing to the invoice he had just given me, and with a sarcastic tone to my voice, I asked. “Why would I pay $556.60 for an oxygen sensor, plus labor, plus taxes, for a part that I don’t need, if the problem is just a loose wire. And that’s not counting the $137.50 that you’re charging me today for this report. I’ve had an oxygen sensor replaced by a Toyota dealer before and it was just over $200.00 in total. This is ridiculous.”

Anyway, we got into a little argument and I tossed my debit card on his desk. As he was processing it, I exclaimed in a voice that was loud enough so that all five of the service reps and their customers would hear, as well as others in the open area, that I would never come back for service and neither would I recommend anyone else to do so. He then tossed the card back at me in an act of defiance and I caught it before it slid off the desk. I asked him why he was angry; he wasn’t the one that was being gouged? He didn’t say anything, but glared at me.

The next day I went to see my sister’s mechanic and arranged for them to do the work. He quoted me $210.00, parts, labor and taxes. I also decided to call Toyota Canada and let them know that I was not happy with their dealer. I gave them all the details, including invoice number, service representative, etc.. That’s just bullshit, and as long as car dealers that can get away with gouging, they will.

Says 45 – Doubles and doppelganger

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April 29 Sunday 3:30 AM I awoke from a dream thinking of doubles, of seeing identical twins and also of seeing myself in a mirror. I was going through all the different scenarios of doubles and reflections and then remembered my experience with my doppelganger  when I was working in cable TV years ago. I was working as a service/maintenance man but also had a part time job with the same company as a sales rep at night. I was in the midst of a sale pitch to a potential customer that I knew couldn’t afford cable TV and didn’t really want it, but I wasn’t interested in what he told me and what he wanted, I was more interested in making my commission on the sale.

I almost had him talked into signing up, when out of the corner of my eye, in my peripheral vision, I saw myself leaning against the hallway wall looking at me. He was about 10 feet (3 meters) away from me, and I not only saw this identical image of myself, but I was also aware of what this other me was thinking as I was also in his body looking at me. I was consciously flipping back and forth between being in my Body and in his Body.

One part of me was trying to close a sales pitch while observing this other part of me that was looking at me and wondering how far I would go to make a dollar, if I was willing to sell my Soul to make a buck. I was aware of what I was thinking and seeing, and then in the next instant, my consciousness was in this doppelganger and aware that he was thinking of me and looking at me. Seeing the me that was making the sales pitch to a potential Cable TV customer was unnerving to say the least. It was like this doppelganger was the good side of me, while the me that was trying to close the sale was evil and would do anything for a dollar, even if I had to over-power others to get them to do what I wanted. When I decided to shift my gaze to look directly at this doppelganger self, he disappeared.

When I turned back to talk to the customer, he looked concerned and asked me if I was having a heart attack, or had seem a ghost as I looked white and pale. I didn’t tell him what happened, but I told him that he was right, that he didn’t need Cable TV and left it at that and called it a night. That was also the end to my part-time sales job as I didn’t feel that selling my Soul was worth the few dollars I made selling Cable TV. I had never experienced anything like that before or since.

Says 43 – Dream of a weird implant

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April 24 11:10 AM I had a dream that my right arm was itchy and I thought I had a mosquito bite or a small pimple on my forearm. When I looked closer I could see what looked like a miniature computer plug about the size of a sesame seed with what looked like a small electrical connector plug in it. I scratched at it and I could feel something solid with my fingernail. As I continue to scratch I was able to catch hold of one end and began to lift it out of my skin like picking at a scab. As I did the whole thing came loose and it looked like it had fine hair like wires coming out the bottom. There was no pain or bleeding as I removed it.

Now comes the real freaky part. Once I took it out of my skin, it began to grow to about the size of a small shoebox. It was made of a floppy translucent material that had all kinds of multi-color glowing electronics inside. The fine wires had also grown to be about the size of small computer cables and wires and the ends were glowing with different colored lights. I felt that this was the actual size of the unit but that whoever had implanted it in me, also had the technology to shrink it hundreds of times. I woke up thinking that they were using it to gather information and control me.

Says 40 – Lost hopes, dreams, desires and innocence

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2012 April 9 Lost hopes, dreams and desires are directly related to experiences where you had the opportunity to fulfill those dreams and desires, but you were either denied having the experience, or you denied it yourself. As much as you now hope and long for another opportunity to re-live the experience as you would like to do things differently, it’s also futile, as that moment has passed and things have changed. It’s is impossible to even pretend and deny that the original experience never happened. Even knowing that you have a second chance, doesn’t make it the original experience, as you already have that imprint, program and belief, that it is a lost hope, dream and desire, that was put in place from the original denied experience.

With that realization comes the feelings of heartbreak, as well as anger and rage at yourself for being held back, or for holding yourself back. While these feelings and emotions are quick to surface, what is harder to reach and also the most important is your denied terror, and why you felt your terror was correct at that time, in denying the experience.

What brought this topic up was my remembering a few experiences in my early adolescence. While I was curious about girls and wanted to talk with them and be friends, I was also afraid that I was bad or that others would think that I was bad. The reason behind those thoughts was due in part to my religious upbringing and my mother, and secondly was the result of being bullied and not wanting to say or do anything that would give others a reason to attack me. This was my terror that I denied, and as such, I denied any experiences where I had the desire to do so.
Now, decades later, I wonder what would have happened if? If I had done that, if I had said that, and hundreds of other if’s. Guilt and shame were also involved in keeping me from the experiences I was curious about and desired. This is also associated with lost innocence, innocence that I denied, and now, lost youth, as I’m now decades older, and I can’t relive my youth….or at least, that is my present belief.

It’s interesting that I added that as an afterthought as that thought came from nowhere. So maybe there is a way to heal all this and to reclaim lost innocence and fulfill my lost hopes, dreams and desires.

As I’m writing this, I’m feeling over whelmed at all that I have lost. I have very few memories of my childhood, adolescence, teen and even adult life. Not like some people I know that can remember minute details and even the exact date. What I do remember mostly are things associated with lost hopes, dreams and desires. I’m realizing that I was either living in the past, heartbroken and angry over what I had experienced, or I was in terror of what was awaiting me in the future. As such, I had very little of my conscious presence fully in the present moment.

Says 35 – How I abuse my Body…. and Body talks to me.

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2012 March 30 6:50 am I was just thinking of how I do all the things that I THINK are helping my Body, but that I’m actually doing the REVERSE. I’m denying what I don’t like, what I don’t want to accept that my Body is showing me, and how I look to outside things to make my Body either feel good, or look better.

What I need to do, is what the message said, to listen to my Body. If it’s an ache, pain or illness, I need to listen and feel what my Body is holding and work on releasing that unloving denied energy that is creating the imbalance.

If I don’t like what I see with my Body, gray hair, saggy skin, wrinkles, and a lack of strength and vitality etc, then instead of trying to force the body to exercise or use external products to try to reverse the aging process, I need to do the opposite. And again, I need to listen to my Body and let it tell me what I needs to do and to help it rejuvenate itself by finding what it is holding and then releasing the programs and beliefs and the denied energy that it has been holding for years.

2012 April 01 This morning, as I was getting out of bed , I was thinking of what I was going to have for breakfast. I nonchalantly asked my Body what it would like and to my surprise, I distinctly heard a voice in my head, say, “I’d like some porridge this morning.”
I asked, “With strawberries and Blueberries?”
I heard my Body reply, “No strawberries, just blueberries as the strawberries are not healthy.”
I sat on my bed for a few moments, taking in all that just happened. I got up feeling a happiness and lightness in my Body that I haven’t felt since I was a child. It brought tears to my eyes.

 

Says 34 – Letting go of the Old world and creating a new World

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2012 March 30 6:40 am I awoke and was thinking of all the things that are wrong in this world and I began to write a list.

Corrupt government, federal, provincial, and municipal
Religious beliefs and conflict
The wars and military spending
Pharmaceutical drugs and medical care
High gas, food, electrical and housing prices
High CATV, satellite, telephone, cell phone and internet prices
GMO foods and animals
Polluted land, water and air
Chemtrails and government cover-up
Big brother watching you
And the list goes on and on.

I then though, this is way too much to try to fix and that the only way we are going to change things is to let go of it and let it self destruct and then we’ll build a brand new world to rise out of the ashes like the fabled Phoenix. By self-destruct, I don’t mean that the World (Earth) should be destroyed, but that the SYSTEMS that are presently in a position of power be destroyed. When they are gone, along with those that support that system; those that remain can then begin the process of creating a New World with a new blue print of how reality can be when denials are ended.

Says 33 – Message on Clearing illness and aging from the Body.

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2012 March 30 2:30 am, Before I went to bed I was read a few pages in the “Right Use of Will” RUOW (Page 2) on clearing illness and habits. When I went to bed, I had been thinking of how to heal my Body and later I awoke hearing the following message. I reached now and picked up my journal that I have between my night table and my bed , turned the light on and began to write the following message.

Say this aloud and make it your intent.

Body, I am here to help you heal yourself. What is it that you desire me to help you come into full Being? I will listen to your wants, needs, and desires and will do my best to fulfill them? I know that I have not listened to you in the past and have gotten you to do what I wanted and thought was the right thing. I know you are also holding a lot of the Wills denied energy and I am ready to help you release it and to help you and the Will heal and come into full consciousness, glory and power. This is my intent, This is my intent with Body, Will and Heart. I ask that you teach me, to help me listen to you, and to know that it is your Will, your true desire. It is time to end this battle, this struggle, as it is life that we all desire and so to achieve that, we all need to let go of all that does not serve our highest purpose and good.

We sense your doubt and fear, and like your brothers comment to Peter “O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt,” we want to add, that what he did not say was that,” You know that all things are possible, you have only to imagine them and they will manifest for your experience.”

I ask Father, Mother and the Company of Heaven to help me, help us bring Heaven to Earth and to live life as we have never know it. Amen.

Says 31 – My ear issue clearing up, but now my sister has ear problems

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2012 March 28 My hearing is almost back to normal. It’s taken quite a while for the internal sounds and my heartbeat to finally subside. I still have some problems with some audio frequencies and voices but that is also improving.

My sister had the flu last week and had also been complaining about a sore ear. Well she took off early at work when she realized that things in the office just weren’t quiet, but that she had lost some healing and went to see her doctor. After some tests, he determined that her tight eardrum had been perforated and that she had a middle and inner ear infection, for which he gave her a prescription for anti0biotics. What makes matters worse is that she had lost most of her hearing in her left ear in early adolescence, so now she is really at a loss. She said it’s not too bad as over the years she has had a lot of ear infections and has learned to lip read

Says 29 – 2012 Three Days and Nights of Darkness

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I just watched a YouTube video and was reminded of a message that I got way back in 1995. This picture on the left reminds me of what I saw as the beginning or dawn of a New World. You will know what I mean after you watch the first part of the Video. Also, there are other videos that relate to it.

Humm?… The YouTube video seems to have been removed, but luckily I was able to download a copy.

Like I said, it’s interesting that when I viewed this video I was reminded of a similar message that I got back in 1995, about the three days of total darkness that was to mark the beginning of the new age and that was to last for 17 years before the next shift would occur.. Like I said, this was back in 1995 and I never really gave it more thought or related it to 2012, in fact I had forgotten about it until I saw this video…

It seems coincidental that 17 years after 1995 brings us to the year 2012 and back then, I hadn’t even heard of the Mayan calendar, and the galactic alignment that science now knows is about to happen. Now I’m wondering if I may have misinterpreted my original message. Maybe instead of lasting for 17 years, it was to be within 17 years, which would make it coincide with 2012. Things that make me say.. Hummmmmm?

From what I remember of the message I got, we, I mean our solar system will be passing through what is called the “Null Zone.” It’s like what we experience when we drive on the highway and come upon dense fog, or a blinding rain or snow storm, that completely blocks our visibility for a period of time until it moves past us. This will be similar, but even more dramatic, in that like she said, what we will experience is total darkness, no electricity, no communication, everything will be shut down for three days and three nights. The only thing that will give us light is fire

I also got that the three days and nights will give people a lot of time (without modern physical distractions) to reflect on their lives (Soul Searching). I didn’t get anything on us or Earth ascending per say, but I did get that a lot of people are going to die, and many will be by choice. Those that don’t die will come away with a new lease on life, so to speak. Not to say that all that remain will be for love and life, but their power base will have shifted and they will not be, or stay in the position of power they once had.

I’ll try to dig up my original message from my journals. I guess it’s right time for this message to be brought to the masses… Now if it manifests, that question will only be answered when the time comes.

Says 27 – The cause of all illness and aging is denial

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2012 March 19, The present issues I’m working on is healing my Body and manifesting my desires and that includes dealing with illness and aging that are manifested by the Body. While there are countless forms of disease, there is only one underlying cause, and that is denial. Denial, the denied energy (reversed polarity) from all parts of the self is what causes the disease and aging. Although it’s not obvious, it’s the unseen role of denial that is the root of our beliefs and judgments, and I’ve found that one of the biggest limitations and judgments on our Being is our social and personal definitions of who and what we are. If you make a list of all your negative “I am” faults, you will have a record of all your limiting beliefs and judgments. Some of my limiting “I am” beliefs and judgments are:

I am getting old because:
I’m not as strong as I once was
I’m not as energetic as I once was
I am getting white hair
I am losing my hearing
I am losing my eyesight
I am feeling pain in my bones
I am feeling pain in my muscles

While I have some knowledge, insights and understandings into the issues in my life from my past emotional healing experiences, I still don’t have the understandings I need to solve this current illness and aging issue with my Body. I have yet to apply my knowledge and experience it in a real life situation, in the “now” or present moment, to see if what I think I know, really works.

The cause of all pain and suffering is denial.

Says 26 – The power of labels and our core “I am” beliefs

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I’m in a Facebook group where I’ve been having an exchange with a man that admits he is gay. As he defended his belief of his gender preference, I realized that he was no different than a person saying they were an alcoholic or a drug addict. While the man said, “I am gay” he totally missed the fact that he is a Spiritual Being having a physical experience which happens to be being in a sexual relationship with a man, which is labeled by society as the person being gay. Being gay is what he is experiencing; it is not what he is… BIG difference.

I also realized that any mental, emotional or physical affliction is the same as an addiction in that both carry the denied underlying causes related to their physical experiences. If people allow themselves to be identified by the LABELES that their Doctor, or society puts on them, then they will have resigned themselves to be defined by those limiting and crippling beliefs. They will unconsciously will live their lives in pain and misery until such time that they choose to let go of their label belief and decide to find the hidden cause, the unseen role of denial underpinning their experience.

Our fears are connected to our “I AM” core beliefs that limit us from being who we really are. Our fears are not bad or evil, but they have their origins rooted in real life traumatic unloving experiences were we fragmented a piece of our Essence out of our Being. While we are mentally unaware of the fragments that have been denied, we are aware of their presence by their magnetic draw to be accepted, yet we still deny them, or rather, deny dealing with the original cause that created the fragmentation and resultant programs and beliefs. It’s a double blind situation as we are unaware of what we are doing and what we need to do to resolve and heal the situation and therefore we ignorantly believe our denials as being the truth and the truth as being our denials.

The same goes for other beliefs like, I am not free, I am poor, homeless, unhappy, depressed, etc. All these are limiting “I AM” beliefs and as such, are locked into the CORE of our psyche, our BEING. Until they are cleared and released, it’s impossible to become our true “I AM” presence as these beliefs, and the denied feelings and emotions behind the experiences that led to these beliefs, are overriding our true essence and power.

Affirmations like, “I am happy, I am abundant. I am free,” etc., are just a forms of denial and role-playing that only serve to deepen the belief. As an example, simply saying “I am happy” when one is actually feeling sad is in blatant denial of our true feelings and emotions.

 

Says 25 – Distilled water and the Heart, circulatory system & blood

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Today I bought some steam distilled water(aka Rain water) as a form of cleanse as I feel that is what the body needs or rather, what the blood needs to help process the nutrients it needs to nourish the body and eliminate the wastes. Rainwater is free of any chemicals and as such, it doesn’t add toxins to the Body that the Body then needs to get rid of.

The blood is part of an organ, our Heart and circulatory system whose job it is, is to provide life giving sustenance to the cells in our Body and to also filter and remove waste products. Bloor carries oxygen from the lungs and the digested food from our stomach and small intestine along with all the chemicals to all the other organs of our Body and as I mentioned remove any wasted produced by these organs. I don’t know how long I’ll be doing this, as right now I’m still drinking two cups of coffee a day as well as a couple cups of green tea. I’ll just monitor myself to see what I notice.

Says 24 – Dream of shit and litter and putting people in their right place.

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2012 March 10, I was at, what once was, a beautiful  tropical resort but recently the people that were in charge of maintenance had walked off the job. They refused to clean up the mess made by the visitors and what was once a beautiful resort was now turning into a toxic wasteland. The visitors at the resort were not only deliberately littering and trashing things, but they were also urinating and defecating on toilets, floors, or anywhere they pleased. To top it off, the water had been turned off because of vandalism and plugged toilets. It had gotten so bad that you had to be careful where you walked and even the beach and water was disgusting and unsafe. Visitors were disgusted that the toilets were not cleaned and plugged and some went to the outside dug toilets but found that they were also filthy. In desperation, some of the cleaners did their business on the grounds and tried to bury it as best they could.No one seemed to know what to do and how to clean up the place.

I talked to the clean up people and showed them what they could do t fix the problem and those that were interested followed my instructions and fixed some of the plumbing and dug new latrines and filled in the old ones. The litterbugs and those that didn’t care still littered and did their business where ever they wanted, even on, instead of in the working and clean toilets.

Finally, I had enough of their antics and I had them removed to their own remote island where they could do what they wanted. They complained to me that I wasn’t treating them fairly, or said that they were sorry and they would change if I just let them come back. I said, “No, there is a right place and time for everyone and you are in yours until you learn to clean up after your selves and your surroundings. You will live by your choices.”

I woke up.

Says 23 – Finally finished editing book 2 and 3 intro’s

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2012 March 05 Today I think I’ve finalized my introductions to books 2 and 3. I hummed and hawed, postponed and labored for years in trying not to repeat myself in my introductions, and to make each book a standalone read like my first book. This obsession also contributed to my having what is commonly known as writers block. It finally dawned on me that I’ve deliberately written a trilogy, and so it stands to reason that some parts of the introduction need to be repeated so that the reader will know what is going on, and for the book makes sense.

I also transferred the text to my MS-Word documents and then did some re-editing to get them to fit into the page format that I had previously set up, as I didn’t want to go through that process again as it’s been a few years and I’ve forgotten how I did it. I only know that I had a hard time setting it up in the first place.

Says 19 – Hearing loss in left ear and visit to the Doctor

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2012 Feb 24 Friday. Back on Feb 03 Says 05  I got an ear infection and I’ve been treating it with olive oil and inserting a small wad of cotton batten to keep the oil in place.  A couple of weeks ago I asked my guides if I needed to go see the Doctor to have my left ear flushed out, and I got the answer, “No.”

My hearing was getting better, but then took a turn last weekend and since then it hasn’t gotten any better and so yesterday, I asked my guides again and I got the answer, “Yes.” I was confused, but I called the Doctor this morning and to my surprise, I got an appointment for 10:30 this morning.

I went for my appointment and before the Doctor examined my ear, I removed the cotton batten wad. He looked in my ear and said there was something stuck in my ear. My first thought (fear) was an insect as what else could it be. He got out his bag of tools and with a tweezer like instrument; he pulled out a wad of cotton batten. I was surprised, but immediately realized it was the cotton batten wad that I thought had fallen out of my ear during my sleep, a week ago. When I woke up, it wasn’t in my ear and I couldn’t find it in my bed so I assumed that it had fallen out and dropped down behind the bed.

The Doc then flushed my right ear and removed a little bit of wax. I asked him if he was going to flush my left ear and he said it was fine, there was no wax in it. I then asked him why I still couldn’t hear with my left ear and he said that the cotton batten wad had been pushed against my ear drum and that it would take a couple of days for things to right themselves. I felt like a dummy, but that also explains why my guides had changed their answer.