2013 Jan 21 I went to see my Chiropractor today about my neck, shoulders and lower back. I’ve been in pain for a month now and it’s not getting any better, in fact, I’m noticing that I’m beginning to stoop and slouch my shoulders with my head down, like an old man. There are also times when I find it difficult to even get out of bed or a chair, as it’s also affecting my legs. After the treatment, I noticed that my posture was almost back to normal, although I still had some pain. I’m to go back on Thursday for another session.
2013 Jan 20 I usually do an Apple cleanse this time of year, but this year, I decided to try something new. The reason for the change is that I noticed that I eat very little food that is either sour or bitter, yet I have no problem with sweet or spicy food. I thought of how vinegar removes calcium build up, where water is involved, like shower heads, tiles, counters, etc. I then thought of how cholesterol and plaque buildup deposits in our blood vessels and thought that maybe adding vinegar to my diet would help get rid of any potential issues. Part of all this is because I have a doctor’s appointment at the end of February and I need to get blood work done before that.
I decided to do an apple vinegar detox where I would take 2 – 3 tablespoons of organic Apple Cider Vinegar in a cup of distilled water and add a bit of honey to sweeten the taste. I would take this concoction 2 – 3 times a day before a meal. It didn’t taste that bad, but neither did it taste that good. After a few days, I decided to try another suggestion and that was to take it with tomato juice instead of water. I substituted tomato juice for a garden cocktail and that was quite enjoyable. I decided to do this cleanse until the end of the month or until I noticed some unpleasant side effects.
2013 Jan 19 The Sandy Hook school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut reminds me of a story in the RUOW books and the dark Wizard (Lucifer) Book 1 (Chapter – The Land of Pan). The story is about how the Dark Wizard had organized duel contests, where he defeated every wizard that challenged him by denying the validity of the others wizards approach, and by insisting that the duels had to be done according to his rules. Some wizards that saw the duels refused his challenge and said he should be stopped. Others said that he was not such a bad guy after all, and still others tried to quiet their fears by telling themselves and others that he wasn’t really gaining power, that it was only an illusion that they weren’t going to believe. The Dark Wizard gained a lot of energy from these denials on which to feed and he got more and more powerful and found that he could do things right in front of others that they did not want to see, and they would not see them. If he was noticed, he denied what he was actually doing and said he was doing something else. Some that didn’t want to accept the horror of what was actually happening helped the wizard explain away his outrages.
Sandy Hook is a repeat of what happened in Pan, only in a different form. As long as the general public, “sheeple” continue to deny the reality they are experiencing, their reality will not only, not change, but will get worse. They avoid and deny what they see and feel because they have a false sense of hope, and have convinced themselves that things aren’t really as bad as others make them out to be and that the government will fix the problem, or that someone will save the day. Sad to say, it doesn’t look like they are going to change their denial based point-of-view until it is right in their face and up close and personal, and then watch them scream about the injustice and heartlessness they are experiencing, and then they will either be begging for help or trying to fight their oppressors.
We have been brainwashed for eons and naively believe and accept the illusions we experience, as being natural and reality. Politics, religion, media, etc., are all power and control based tools used by those in a position of power to maintain and expand their empires. The hypocrisy and unlovingness that is happening now, I witnessed and felt on a smaller scale as a child and I have seen it steadily increase, to where it is now becoming blatantly obvious and an in your face experience, yet people still continue to deny the falseness and heartlessness of it all. Politicians, religious leaders, media, etc., are caught red handed in their denials, lies, deception and heartlessness, yet it’s all dismissed by the general population (sheeple) as normal, while those that are aware and speak up, are shamed and ridiculed.
The awareness that there is something majorly wrong with this reality is what I call “the quickening,” the beginning of the stirrings of consciousness. The real challenge is to awaken and heal the parts of our Essence that has been damaged by our living in this heartless reality as that is when things will truly change.
2013 Jan 11 Well things are coming together. I’ve done more cleaning and organizing. I’ve been working on editing book 2 and it’s going nicely. Yesterday I picked up a used bookcase to replace an old one-drawer dresser that is big and bulky and of little use. I also picked up an old home movie screen for $4.50 at a thrift store, which I intend to use as a backdrop when I begin to do YouTube videos. Later that morning the property owner came back with the re-finished cupboard doors that I later re-installed. He also took the one-drawer dresser away. I unpacked a couple of boxes, including my books that haven’t seen daylight for quite some time. The ceiling fan and light have been repaired, (faulty receiver). I also got hooked up to the internet that is being shared in the building. So now, I’m basically set up and settled in, and I must say, it feels good, like a home… For how long, I don’t know but for now, I will enjoy it. I’ve also begun to do my exercise again and I can even do my indoor running and jumping as there is no one below me..
2013 Jan 05 Saturday, I was channel surfing on the TV and happened to tune into the movie “A Knight’s Tale” and although I missed the beginning, I did watch it to the end. What struck me was a scene where the knight (William) flashed back to his childhood where his father sends him off to be an apprentice and told him to watch and learn. I was emotionally moved by that comment and how the father was genuinely doing what he felt was best for his son. I began to write what I was remembering and feeling in my journal. Here is what I wrote.
Those words reminded me of my father and what he said to me when he took me to school that first day. I couldn’t speak English (only German) and I was going to an English school. My father took me aside and told me that I should listen and learn, but he also added, and be like the other kids.
Like the father in the movie, I felt that my father didn’t know what he was saying and how his words were to impact me in a negative way. I know he didn’t have unloving intent as he honestly felt that going to school was best for me and that I could do what he couldn’t do, and that if I learned and was educated, that I wouldn’t end up being a poor dirt farmer like he was. He had done all he could and now I had to move on and go to school, and that this was his way of showing me he loved me, of wanting a better life for me.
In this moment, I miss him and wished that we could have been closer. I mean on a real level and not being close at a distance. I love you dad. Thank you.
2013 Jan 01 Yesterday I bought some TSP cleaner to wash the walls and remove the smoke film. I began in the kitchen where the landlord had used Spray Nine yesterday to see if there was any problem with the product. There was none so I continued with the rest of the kitchen. I then began on a wall in the living room/bedroom and then made my way around the entire room. Next I tackled the bathroom and closet door. Just before supper I pulled out the fridge and washed the sides and walls and then washed the upper kitchen cupboards and before stopping for supper.
After supper, I cleaned the bottom cupboard and I was finished… or so I thought. As I was cleaning, I was shocked and heartbroken to see the finish peeling and blistering and falling off like dry or sun burnt skin or fish scales. I washed it with clear water again and again but nothing helped. I decided to let it dry and see what it looked like in the morning. The only thing I can think of that I did differently was use the Spray Nine he had left as I felt that the TSP hadn’t really cleaned the bottom section like it did the top. There had to be a chemical reaction with the TSP, Spray Nine and the finish to create such an effect. The thing was that it didn’t affect the stain under the clear finish, just the thin clear finish that I was able to scrape off with my finger nail or a soft plastic non scratch pot scrubber. I was prepared to pay to have them re-finished or to buy new front component replacements. Needless to say, I didn’t have a good sleep that night.
The next morning I called the landlord and told him what happened and he said he would be out in the afternoon to look at it. When he arrived, he said that he thought about the problem last night and said the problem was his, as he had sprayed the bottom units with a clear coat. He also said that he would fix it. He removed the doors to take with him.
He also had a look at the ceiling fan and light that wasn’t working except on full speed and bright light, and thought it might be a bad remote control. We also exchanged a brown recliner for another blue swivel rocker he had.
2012 Dec 31, Well I officially got the key to my bachelor apartment today but I didn’t move in until the morning of Dec 31. I met the landlord at 10 am and he was busy cleaning the apartment. He had washed one wall in the kitchen, trying to get the cigarette smoke film off. He left around noon but I stayed and did some extra cleaning. I then left to pick up some supplies. I stopped and got takeout for supper before returning to my old room. I told Paul that I would be out on Monday morning, Dec 31. He was hoping that I would move out on Sunday, but I didn’t feel like rushing or moving in the dark just to make him happy.
2012 Dec 31 I went out for breakfast, then went back and to my room began loading up my stuff. It took two trips but I was out by 11:00 am. The second trip was basically for the furniture I had recently picked up, my computer desk and chair, book case and night table. I slowly unpacked and organized myself.