Says 265 – Thoughts on an eternal Body

As a follow up to my previous post, while we all have a Spirit, Soul, and Heart that is eternal, we also have a Body with which we experience physical reality that presently isn’t eternal, but dies and then reincarnates.  So when I got the message to, “Seek the Doorway to Eternal Life,” I took that to mean that it includes the physical Body. The Body IS a part of the Spirit, Soul and Heart, and is not meant to be used, abused and cast off when it can no longer bear the denials it has been receiving and is unable to function in the way that Spirit thinks it should. The Body is also meant to have eternal life also, but, the proverbial but…  Who, what, where, when, why and how?

Just as the Spirit, Soul and Heart are energy, so too is the Body, albeit at a lower frequency or vibration that is necessary to obtain and maintain a state of physical matter.  The Body is made up mostly of water, but it also contains a multitude of different chemicals and minerals. But, all this is the physical RESULT, it’s not CAUSAL, as what is causal and creates all this are the unseen forces that are yet to be brought to our conscious awareness in order to have true understanding. If we knew the 5 W’s we would know how to heal and change our DNA and reverse this process of the body being cast off, (death) and the slow process of the Body dying until it finally reaches the point that it can no longer support life for Spirit, Soul and Heart.  (To be continued)

Says 264 – Thoughts on Death

I was thinking about death and how I’ve been isolated from it. There have only been five times in my life that I have been personally involved, and not really directly. The first was when I was 8 or 9 and the funeral of my grandmother. What I remember was people standing around her grave as she was being buried.  I was at least 100 feet away and wasn’t allowed to go nearer.

The second was when I was when I was in grade 7 and I heard that my friend had accidentally shot himself while hunting gophers. I never went to his funeral as I heard about it after the fact.

The next was when I was 38 years old and I flew home to spend Christmas with my family, as my dad was going into the hospital in a couple of months for a heart operation. After my visit, he drove me to the airport and as we said our good-byes I knew and he knew that we would never see each other again. He died shortly after his surgery and I never went to his funeral.

Years later I went to a neighbors’ husbands wake. IT was a small somber gathering with people I didn’t know except for the wife of the deceased. There was no body present.

Years later, after I got divorced, my girlfriends aunte died and I went to her wake. This time there was an open casket and I saw my first dead human being. The thing that struck me at the time was that she seemed like an empty vessel as the life had been sucked out of her. I compared her body to a dried corn plant like the ones you often see as a Halloween decoration.  Other than that, I have had friends, auntes, and uncles die, but I have never gone to their funerals for any number of reasons.

So this thing called death is rather an unknown to me, but I also realize that disease and aging are on the path that leads to it. I just thought of the message I got on Says 255 – Seek the Doorway to Eternal Life . I feel  that INCLUDES physical life and our Body but where it is healthy and youthful. It’s kind of like the memory you have inside yourself when your physical Body is getting older and you don’t  look like it did, or are able to do the things you used to do.

I’m planning on heading back out West to see my family this summer as I feel that my mother, who is going to be 93 in July will be passing soon, as will one

Says 263 – And Life Slips Silently Away

11:00 am – I got the news today that Mike, the man I mentioned in my previous post “Death Comes Knocking” died yesterday afternoon. The comments were that if he had lived, he would need to be in a Nursing Home as he would need a constant supply of oxygen just to breathe. He would also need a colostomy bag and constant care and monitoring. The person that told me the news said that Mike said he could not live like that and so he chose to leave.

3:00 pm – While I don’t feel any grief over Mike’s passing, it does leave me pondering our physical body and life.  Our Body is our temple, our form, with which we experience life. Once it is gone, so is that part of our journey, our experience. It makes me realize just how precious our physical body is and how ignorantly and carelessly we abuse it for any number of reasons.

What if? What if we knew we only have one Body and one chance to explore and experience physical reality? Would we be so careless with our Body? We take death of the physical body for granted, as part of life, but death is NOT a part of life; it is the absence of life.  When you really think about it it’s also the absence of love. I don’t mean the micro birth and death of the cells in the body that maintain it, I mean on a macro scale, our entire physical form, when we do things that directly affect our Body in a negative way.  I don’t know where this is going but I’m just writing what is coming to my awareness.

Mike’s family was here this morning cleaning out his apartment and loading his stuff onto a couple of pickup trucks. I don’t remember seeing any of them visit him in the four plus years I’ve lived here, but they seemed to know what he had that they wanted as they asked other tenants where this and that were.  It was like they were just waiting for him to die, like vultures. Even though his rent is paid up for the month, it’s not even 24 hours and they are at it, like vultures.

Says 230 – Realizations on Healing the Body

I spent more than two hours (in the middle of the night) writing 11 1/2 pages in my journal. I’m posting it in its entirety as I want you to see how the thought/feeling process unfolded and how I gained realizations as to how to heal my Body. The story begins with a recount Saturday afternoon experiences that triggered the middle of the night writings. Sorry that it’s kind of long. I was going to break this down into two or three segments, but felt it would fragment the flow of acquiring this realization.

230-back-pain2016 November 19 Saturday 2:30 pm – I had gone to the farmers market and while there I got a pain behind my right shoulder blade and spine that ran up to my neck. It was especially painful and felt like a knot or kink, but I don’t know what caused it. Another thing is that my right hip was also sore and hurting.

I lay down to have a brief nap and reflect on my shoulder and I got that it’s involved with a car accident, and more.  I flashed to seeing the woman in her SUV going through the intersection and I slammed on the brakes. On impact, my right leg was pressing on the brake pedal and that resulted in my right hip not moving forward like my left one as my left leg was not braced in the same way. This, and the fact that I was thrown into the driver’s door helped to twist my hip. In a similar fashion, my right and left arm were braced for impact and the jarring impact, followed by the twisting action of being hurled into the driver’s door twisted my right shoulder neck and spine.

But, there’s more. While all this was going on, my mind was thinking of survival and denied any emotional and physical expression except those that supported its survival mentality, like focusing on things that were OK, with little consideration or recognition of the real pain in the body that was numb and in shock, and unable to express itself as it needed to. It was only hours and days after the accident when the shock wore off that my mind became aware of the damage that had been inflicted on my Body, and even then, it was only related to the pain that the body was feeling at the time, that the Mind didn’t want to feel, and not what actually happened to the body, or what help the body needed to allow it to heal itself.

I got up and did two exercises from the Rudolph Stone Polarity Therapy book, chart 63 and 64, and my shoulders and lower back feel  a bit better. I still feel a pinched nerve in my left shoulder but overall, I’m not in the pain I was in before.

So now the question is how do I heal my physical body?, When I was working on healing my emotions, I would remember the traumatic experiences, and my Spirit (Mind) would allow my Soul [Will] to express everything that it never got to express during the original experiences, like heartbreak, terror, anger, rage, aloneness, unloved, betrayal, manipulated, etc. As I wrote that, I flashed to some of the healing experiences I witnessed when working with others, and while some of the previous mentioned emotions were involved, it was guilt and shame that were stored in the body, that negatively affected the physical body with aches, pains, and disabilities. Once they released the guilt and shame energy they had been holding, the body immediately responded with health and well being. So now the questions are; where does the body store any so-called negative feelings and emotions like heartbreak, betrayal, unloved, alone, etc., and how does one release them? Also, where and how does the body’s own feelings, emotions and pain get stored [trapped] in the body, and how does one release them?

November 20, Sunday 2:50 AM

230-boy-sad2:50 am – As mentioned, I had a real pain in my back between my shoulder blades and into my neck yesterday. I just got up now to go to the bathroom, and my back felt a bit better. I also got the feeling that it’s associated with the betrayal and heartbreak of getting blindsided and stabbed in the back. Not expecting to be hurt that way from people I loved and trusted. Suddenly feeling flooded with pain, disbelief and shock, and heartbroken and betrayed and not knowing what to say in a moment as you are too numb to even respond and so you react and pretend [deny] that it’s not happening and that its normal, going to be OK, that it’s just a dream, that you were wrong, or that they did mean it and were just joking.

I just remembered a poem I wrote in my teens and early twenties, that I shared in my third book. The poem is titled, Temp/Anger, and it’s basically all about this issue. Wow! It’s all about SURVIVAL, and how I have taken in unloving energy and have been holding it in my spine, my chakras, and other parts of my body.

3:10 am I just had a brief flutter of heartbreak but it came and went just as fast, but at least it moved.

I just flashed different [unexpected and unpleasant] experiences that I’ve had, and also good experiences, where I deliberately shot myself down for fear of getting hurt again, so it’s a better that I ended as it will hurt less. This was mainly with relationships, especially female, where I’d either convinced myself they were not interested in me, or that they were too good for me, or that I wasn’t good enough for them. I flashed through my teenage years of feeling ashamed of not only me, but my parents as well for being poor. I didn’t want to have a girlfriend for fear of having her find out how poor we were.

Starting school was a big time shock for me. Besides the physical, mental and emotional abuse, I felt heartbreak and betrayed by my parents, teachers and peers. I also felt an overwhelming feeling of heartlessness being directed at me with no real way of not taking it in. In believing that what was happening to me was my fault, and also based on my religious indoctrination (RC) beliefs of TRUSTING PEOPLE, thinking that they were as loving as I was. Giving them the benefit of the doubt time and time again that I heard known, or convincing myself to wait and see what else they had the say that would clear up my doubts.

230-mind-control3:25 am – This seems like a repeat of what I went through in healing my Will, but yet it seems like on a different level, as the feelings and emotions are more like shadows, and not as strong and powerful like I had previously experience. Aha! – I just realized that while I was able to move my emotions that I had denied expression, I hadn’t moved all the unloving denial energy that I had taken in during and after those experiences. I hadn’t moved the feelings my Body had experienced.  I denied myself even to the point of shutting down my physical talents and gifts so that I wouldn’t upset people, so that they would like and accept me.

I just felt more feelings of heartbreak that came and went again just as quickly.

I feel I’ve cut off and denied so much of myself, my innocence, that if I compare all my Essence when I incarnated to what I have left now, it’s like my physical body compared to my left hand. I’ve lost almost all of me, not lost, more like I can’t find. But yes, lost in that I denied and cut them off. Aha! I just realized that it’s more like this is how much unloving denial energy of others that my physical body is holding in these parts of me, energy that is not mine and is of reversed polarity.

It is my intent to move any and all unloving energy and Essence that is not mine from my body. From my physical, mental, emotional and etheric bodies and chakras, and to send it back to where it came from or to its right place, so that I can heal all aspects of me.

I just added that I want to transform my own reversed polarity unloving energy that is in the form of an attachment to people places and things. That while I had no conscious intent to harm or over-power, it still is unloving through the unseen role of denial and needs to be transformed. Connections yes, attachments no.

3:45 am – I was just thinking of how I hated my body for being small, weak, different, and unacceptable. I even remember going through a stage where I wanted to change my name, thinking that would change things. I hated my body for being sick, hurt, or injured as if it was my body’s fault for what it was experiencing and for not being able to do what I (my Mind) wanted it to do.

(Again I felt some emotions move briefly.)

I pushed my body even when it was sick or hurt to do what I felt I needed to do, which was to SURVIVE this fucking cruel world. Humph!!! I have to die to live and isn’t that fucked up?

(Now I’m feeling and expressing some anger and rage.)

230-mind-king-of-dead-bodyWhoa! I just realized that I unconsciously kill my essence in order to do what I believe is needed to live. I cut off and deny parts of me that are hurt and wounded so that the rest of me can go on with this illusion called life. WTF! Now I feel numb. I’m in shock at that realization and how close I’ve come to almost having to leave my physical body and the Essence I’ve abandoned and denied, thereby giving Lucifer what he wants.

FUCK THAT!  FUCK YOU LUCIFER! You’re not going to win.

I just flashed to the light and dark wizards duel and how I lost a major part of my Essence there. I intend to get those parts back also. I’m getting all parts of me that I’ve denied and lost in all time, and dimensions. I intend to recover all parts of my Being. I will not stop until every last part of me that is out there and being held by unloving light is back into my Essence. I will move any and all unloving light back to whom or where it belongs, to its right place. I no longer accept it in and upon me. I ask for help from Mother and Father and all my guides that are here to assist me to help me in whatever way is appropriate and serves  my highest purpose, love, and light.

4:10 am – I just realized that taking medicine, pain relievers, and even chiropractic treatments and massage, etc., and even using heat and baths are unloving and controlling. While it APPEARS you are loving yourself, it is in reality [through the unseen role of denial] actually your mind trying to force the body not to be sick, weak, or in pain.

FUCK this is SUBTLE!

But the underlying intent is still unloving if it’s not what the Body is asking for, but what the Mind wants the Body to do so that it can do what it wants and be happy. It’s more unloving light that is actually the Mind that has been imprinted and program; that it is in control, that it is the master, that it knows what is best for all. I now recognize that it is my light that has reversed its polarity and has become unloving light and has been slowly killing me, although it was unconscious and unaware that it was doing so.

Aha! I realize that by denial, I’ve taken in, accepted; unloving light that has imprinted and programmed my Mind to control the rest of my Being. The more I denied, (what I believed was wrong with me) the more I changed from the loving light I was, to become what I am now. I thought my light was wrong and that this unloving light that I took in was right. That I needed to be like the others in order to live and be happy like them and that is totally FUCKED! My intent is to let go of any and all unloving imprints, programs, and beliefs that would have me reverse my lights polarity, from loving to unloving. I ask for help to become aware when I’m doing this so that I can end this action that has been slowly killing me, as what I desire is life and love.

230-i-forgot-to-live4:30 am – Having to go to school to learn things so that you can get a job and earn money, to pay for things that enable you to survive for a few years, until you grow sick and old and are of no further use and die. This reality is forced upon us the day we are born. We grow old and these imprints, programs, and beliefs are what we take to the grave, or rather have been. I’m not buying that reality any longer and I let go of those imprints, programs and beliefs.

You force your Mind to control your emotions, and you force your Body to do the things it does not want to do so that the Mind can get what it believes is the power [money] to enable it to do what it thinks it needs and wants to be happy, and to also support the family with shelter, food, clothing, and the pleasures of this so called life. This reality is actually a hideous energy form sucking the life out of our loving Bodies through our denials and willingness to be like them, the “Otherkin,” those that do not belong in this universe and that need to be moved to the right place.

4:40 am – This is somewhat of a rehash of what I went through and know several years ago, but now it takes on a new feeling and meaning. I’m also beginning to feel a new life force rising in me, a new conviction and determination, and new purpose, or maybe it’s just a rekindling of an old flame that has been put aside to finish the books and that part of my journey. Whatever it is, I like it.

4:50 am – I asked my Body to show me what it needs to show me, to move any unloving light that it is holding and help me transform any reversed polarity parts of my light. I asked it also to show me any lost Will energy that it is holding and the unloving energy that is associated with it, so that I can recover lost Will Essence and move out unloving energy.

230-baal5:05 am -I closed my eyes and saw several dark forms moving before me. Lucifer, Baal, Melchizedek, and others, hovering over me, cussing and name calling, stating that I can’t do what I’m doing and that they are not through with me, that they will stop me. I smiled as that was what they were saying the last time I was close to a breakthrough. This time I rolled over and went to sleep, and woke up at 9:15 am.

 

To understand what life is, you need to understand what Death is.

Says 219 – Life is a dance

219-lifes-a-danceLife is a dance, with the Spirit (Male, mind) leading, and the Soul (Feminine – Will Intuition, feelings and emotions) following or rather, RESPONDING to the Spirits direction. But to do this dance of life the Feminine needs to not only do the reverse, but also the opposite of what her male partner does. If the man moves his left foot forward, then she must move her right foot backward for them to be in unison, in the flow of the dance.The same holds true if the man steps backwards on his left foot

So where is all this going?

My first thought was that Spirit (male – mind) is imprinted and programmed to think that his approach is the right one and so it ignorantly believes that the Soul needs to do what he does in order to be in sync with him, but that is not how this dance works. I’ve taken international ballroom dance lessons, and while the male leads and the female follows, the male also needs to be willing to accept and move when the female sees something that the males doesn’t and be willing to trust her feedback and adjust the move accordingly. In other words, it’s not all one way. I’ve copied a few seconds from a Foxtrot Video on youtube,  to illustrate what I mean.

Ok, but how does this relate to the Body?

Says 41 – Warm and cold blooded (internal fire or the sun for life)

April 10 I watched a TV program this morning about python hunters in Florida. They came upon a python that was partly eaten and when they went to pick it up, it moved, it was still alive. At first they couldn’t figure out what was going on but when they began to examine the injury they determined that it was the result of birds that had pecked at it. They then noticed several vultures in nearby trees and they put two and two together and determined that the snake had been caught out in the open when the weather had turned cooler and it couldn’t get to shelter. That was when the vultures decided to make a meal of it as the python was too cold and too slow to defend itself. They had dragged the snake into the sunlight to examine its wounds and within a few minutes, the heat of the sun revived the snake and gave it the energy to try to get away.

I know that reptiles, fish and insects are cold blooded animals and don’t have an internal source of heat (fire) and so they need the sun to warm their blood and give them the ability to move, to animate life.

I feel that in humans and most other mammals that are warm blooded, that this is where Heart and the blood come in as that’s where the fire of life comes from. Heat is transferred by the blood to all parts of the Body and keep our core temperature and vital organs at a near constant rate of 98.6 degreed F (37degrees C). If we are sick and bacteria and viruses are attacking our Body, then it is our blood that tries to fight off the invaders, but the battle also throws off our Bodies ability to maintain its proper temperature as the glands regulating our bodies temperature are also affected by the invaders.

The hypothalamus is located in the brain next to the pineal and pituitary gland and is said to control our bodies temperature. So while the hypothalamus is the thermostat, it’s not the furnace that produces the heat. The hypothalamus is also a part of our endocrine system. Another gland that is also part of this system is the thymus gland that sits just above our heart. While the thymus also fights disease, it’s also known in ancient times as the life force.

I’m wondering if this gland is somehow our mini furnace? Something has to be generating this heat and it’s not just the by product of our Body digesting food, as people that haven’t eaten for days still maintain their body heat. The other thing is that if the digesting of food was responsible for creating body heat, then we should be hotter after a meal as we have more food to put in the fire. Something is going on that science hasn’t picked up on, or they have and are keeping it a secret… So the big question is, what is producing our internal fire or heat source to maintain life?

Says 39 – Realization that love is polarized

2012 April 08 Sunday, I have had the experience and understanding of what conditional and Unconditional love was for a few years now. Post 866 Insight into Conditional and Unconditional love That love has extremes that move from the darkest feelings of psychopathic loathing, hatred and cold indifference, all the way to conditional love in a state of mindless bliss, and then to Unconditional love where there are no attachments, conditions, judgments or denials. From being negative, domineering and controlling, to being positive, open and free. While I knew all this, what I realized today was that love was polarized, and I never thought of it that way before.

Polarity is the expanding principals or forces of the same essence or thing, and moving in opposite directions, away from each other. Hot-cold, dark-light, left-right, forward-reverse, large – small, and the list goes on and on. To an observer, polarity has no real meaning, as it is merely a mental concept as you would not know what hot or cold was by looking at it, unless you had some personal experience. It’s only when you experience it from a subjective state, and sense and feel the experience that you begin to understand the various attributes of that essence.

I feel there is more to it as I feel that love is also associated with life and death, from essence that desires life, to essence that desires unconsciousness and death, and everything in between. Everything is energy and is connected with love, which is life. It really doesn’t matter where anyone is on the grand scale of things as they are in their right place…………………………………….

Ahhhhh… As I wrote that last line I felt that is not the truth or we wouldn’t be in the mess that we are in. That is what this shift that is coming is all about, moving everyone and everything to its right place so that it will like what it feels. That there will no longer be the mixing together of the different essences as that is what has created the conflict in creation. While polarity provides infinite possibilities with which to experience manifestation, it is only when these polarities are intertwined or over lapping that duality is created, which brings us to the nature of good and evil.

Hummm……   This is all beginning to make sense to me in a new way.

Says 15 – Stopping the cycle of death and reincarnation

February 18 7:15 AM So in order to stop the cycle of death and reincarnation, and to bring all the presently untapped physical senses into reality, Spirit (Mind) has to begin to not only accept what the Body, Will and Heart are feeling in the present moment, but to also feel what happened to them  in the past. Spirit needs to go where it has never gone before and experience what it thinks will kill it, to a place where Will/Body were abandoned and left to die. It’s Body (form) that holds the most denials as even the Will gradually has to leave it, not that she wanted to, but she had no choice.

Feb 18 1:10 PM Not that all of Heart left after Spirit left, as only the part of Heart that is Spirit polarized left, leaving the Will polarized part of Heart to die along with Body and Will. I just felt the heartbreak of both Spirit polarity Heart in having to leave the Body/Will, and the Will polarity of itself and how he felt he had no choice, and how Will polarity Heart, felt broken, betrayed, alone and a host of other feelings and emotions. Will polarity Heart was also trapped in a dying Body and quickly losing consciousness, meaning that the physical heart and circulatory system and blood were also dying, and in the process, cutting off possibility of physical life from the rest of the Body.

This is horrible! What a fucking heartbreaking waste!  I don’t know what else I can call it as there are just too many feelings and words to describe what I just felt. It’s all based on imprinting that goes back to the very beginning, to original Cause.

Before you can know what life is, you need to know what death is.

To know what love is, you need to know what is not love.

If any part of us is in denial of another part of ourselves, that part being denied is receiving death.  So how can we call what we are experiencing life, when a part of us is dying? Cutting off parts of us that are dying only means that we are losing more consciousness and essence. Eventually Spirit, that is electric in nature, also dies because without the Wills Magnetic essence there is no longer the compliment of forces necessary for Spirit/Will to co-exist. Without the Yin, there is no Yang.