The medical establishment is finally catching up to the fact that death is not what they have thought it to be, and they are just scratching the surface. There is a lot more that happens and our current medical practices are actually barbaric.
Here is a link to the video
https://www.facebook.com/shen.reed/videos/1696296147129261/
11:00 am – I got the news today that Mike, the man I mentioned in my previous post “Death Comes Knocking” died yesterday afternoon. The comments were that if he had lived, he would need to be in a Nursing Home as he would need a constant supply of oxygen just to breathe. He would also need a colostomy bag and constant care and monitoring. The person that told me the news said that Mike said he could not live like that and so he chose to leave.
3:00 pm – While I don’t feel any grief over Mike’s passing, it does leave me pondering our physical body and life. Our Body is our temple, our form, with which we experience life. Once it is gone, so is that part of our journey, our experience. It makes me realize just how precious our physical body is and how ignorantly and carelessly we abuse it for any number of reasons.
What if? What if we knew we only have one Body and one chance to explore and experience physical reality? Would we be so careless with our Body? We take death of the physical body for granted, as part of life, but death is NOT a part of life; it is the absence of life. When you really think about it it’s also the absence of love. I don’t mean the micro birth and death of the cells in the body that maintain it, I mean on a macro scale, our entire physical form, when we do things that directly affect our Body in a negative way. I don’t know where this is going but I’m just writing what is coming to my awareness.
Mike’s family was here this morning cleaning out his apartment and loading his stuff onto a couple of pickup trucks. I don’t remember seeing any of them visit him in the four plus years I’ve lived here, but they seemed to know what he had that they wanted as they asked other tenants where this and that were. It was like they were just waiting for him to die, like vultures. Even though his rent is paid up for the month, it’s not even 24 hours and they are at it, like vultures.
Dec. 05 – 6:10 pm – I just did a meditation and again it was Heart speaking to Spirit (Mind) and how Mind and it’s altered ego controls the body to do what it wants out of false pride and vanity, and stubbornness to admit defeat and not be ashamed and ridiculed. I wish I had written this all down right after the meditation as now most of it is gone from my memory. I know that Spirit also answered and asked for help in letting of its imprints, programs and beliefs that control it, and in turn, control the Will, Body and Heart. That it wants to know what it needs to see and feel in order to heal all aspects of self.
Body also spoke, telling Mind where it had pain. That there was pain in the head, neck, shoulder, back, lower back and legs and that Mind was to also look at the aneurysm, prostate and sex drive issues. My Body was doing some major movement during these dialogues.
I also flashed back to the contest between the light and dark Wizards and how I was stuck in dense matter, in the Amethyst Crystal and that I couldn’t get myself out. At the time, I blamed Form (Body) but I realize it was my expectations and my false pride and denials that dis-empowered me and allowed me to become stuck, and where I lost a good part of my Essence.
As I was typing and editing this for my Blog I realized that I was imprinted and programmed by my mother and father to “Make them proud.” With that program, I had to do everything in my power to not disappoint them, and to make them ashamed of me. That’s heartbreaking and I feel it in this moment.. What a burden to put on a child that is just starting school and doesn’t know how to speak the language, or even have a clue as to what school was about and what was expected of me. Everything negative that happened to me, I tried my best to deny and not show it, as I didn’t want to disappoint them. Self sacrifice and a false pride to maintain an image that I felt was acceptable. Sadly, that program carried on throughout my life affecting not only my feelings and emotions, but my body as well, as it too had to be strong, even when it wasn’t. And that is what I’m now in the process of uncovering and healing..
2016 Dec.03 – Today is the second anniversary since my car accident. I just realized that for the past year, ever since I had the unexpected heater and electrical issues with my Hyundai Santa Fe, that my MIND has been looking at used vehicles on Kijiji. I just realized that my Mind is doing the same thing to my Body. Both have issues that are triggering the Minds (Spirit) imprints, programs and beliefs, that they are falling apart, dying, and that it’s time to get rid of them rather than work on fixing the issues. It’s so subtle how things are inter-related, yet the Mind isn’t consciously aware of what it is doing and why.
As I was making my way to the bathroom, I realized that my Mind was thinking of yet another quick fix, of seeing another alternative medicine facilitator that he had heard was good at stretching and manipulating the neck. Again, the Mind is looking for outside help instead of seeing what his CAUSAL role is with the damage to the neck and to allow the Body to heal itself naturally.
Dec 01 3:35 pm – I began what I thought would be a meditation and suddenly became aware that my Heart was talking to my Spirit (Mind). I’m writing this after the fact as I didn’t want to disrupt the dialogue. Heart was asking it to stop running and busying itself with things that didn’t matter and to do what it says it wants to do, that of healing the Body and Will and that every time the real issues are brought up, it runs and distracts itself.
What Spirit is afraid of is DEATH and so a weak, ill and hurting Body is a sign that death is near and as Spirit has never experienced death as the Will (Soul) and Body have, it is terrified to even try to understand what is happening and why, and how its denials of the Will and Body have been causal and have created the illness, injury and aging and the slow decent toward death.
It’s time that Spirit honor its INTENT to heal the Will and Body and to see and feel what it has never seen and felt because it was afraid it would not survive if it did. But now, if it doesn’t, there is a good chance that it will just keep repeating the cycle of reincarnation.
Hearts message was that it is also time to heal all aspects of our Being, Will, Body, Heart and Spirit that has also lost Essence, power, gifts and talents. That it is now time to accept all things that Spirit has feared, rejected, denied and cut off from its love and light. All lost parts of the Will are scattered and held in the Body. That where Spirit and Spirit Heart had judgments on the Will and Body, that there are either only partial connections there or none at all and only Heartlessness and indifference. There was no bonding and so there isn’t any love or life in these areas, only unlovingness and mistrust.
I can’t remember all that was said as I just went with the flow and was feeling and expressing any emotions that were coming up. But afterwards, I did feel a shift in energy, now how it plays out will need to be seen and felt.
It’s interesting that this Meme came up on my Facebook page as I’m presently working on healing my Body. I don’t mean heal in the present social mindset, I mean heal on all levels. What I’ve discovered before in healing my emotions, was that what we deny, basically begins to die. Now I’m finding out that we do the same with our Body.
When our Body is sick or injured, we THINK we are helping our body by giving it medicine or whatever: However this is what the MIND believes (imprints, programs and beliefs) will FIX the Body and get it back to doing what the Mind wants it to do, so that the Mind can be happy. Illness and injury is the Body’s way of trying to tell the Mind that something is wrong that the Mind needs to look at. When the Mind denies the Body’s needs, the Mind does the same thing to the Body that it does with the Emotions, KILL it.. and so the Body slowly dies, and with it, a part of our Spiritual Essence is lost.
So, what does all this mean? What is the common thread in my previous posts? What I am beginning to see is that there are three basic causes for inflammation to occur in the Body, or rather, that Inflammation is not the problem, it’s the Body’s messenger that there is a problem.
(1) Physical Trauma
(2) Ingested, injected, inhaled contaminates (Food, water, vaccines, air, EMF) Trauma
(3) Emotional Trauma
Now emotional trauma (3) is associated with number (1) and (2) as when one is experiencing these, there is an immediate reaction and a host of strong emotional feelings, most of which are denied expression, Keyword – DENIED. (2) Would have more of a delayed effect, but would eventually have the same emotional response as (1) when the Body responds to whatever is attacking it’s natural healthy way of Being.
In my journey, I’ve discovered that any denied emotional energy is either pushed outside our physical body (fragmentation) or is stored in various parts of the Body. Hummmmm, I just realized that while I’ve worked on healing my fragmentation, but I haven’t really worked on the emotions that are stored in my Body, in my cells and DNA. (Scratching my head, wondering how I’m going to heal this.)
So looking over the list I made, there are two key factors that that need to be explored. They are SHOCK & HABITS. Shock applies mainly to (1) and (3) while Habits applies primarily to (2).
That prompted me to retrieve and open the book, (RIGHT USE OF WILL – Healing and Evolving the Emotional Body). I searched my personal index and on page 5, it says, “Habits are to the Body what judgments are to the Consciousness.” So what I take from that (based on my previous work) is that the Spirit consciousness (Mind) has been in CONTROL of both the Will (Soul) Intuition, feelings and emotions, and the Body. And in both cases, it has denied what it doesn’t want to accept, and only accepts what “feels good.” It sets up judgments (right or wrong, good or bad) on both the Will and Body, more so on the Will, but also on the habits for the Body to keep doing what it likes and makes it feel good. Of course any physical or emotional pain is not desired or accepted, but is quickly DENIED.
And here we go again… LOL … It’s fascinating as I happened to visit my Facebook page and there was a link to the “Hearty Soul” site on feeling stress and how it affects the body. While I don’t agree with everything written, there are some part-truths that need to be explored. Coincidence? Not!
After my month off to let my Body heal, I began to notice a difference in my Body, although I still had all the aches and pains. My insurance covered my Chiropractic treatments until 2016 June, but my Massage treatments were denied and cut off in March. I felt I needed massage to continue my healing process, so I paid for them personally until June, when the Chiro treatments ended. I then decided to take the summer off, dealing with my physical issues as best I could.
By the end of August, I realized that I was at a standstill. The five months of physio and 18 months of chiro and massage had not helped me get back to the normal pain free life I had before the accident. Even though I had given my Body a month to heal, that wasn’t enough. In hindsight, I felt that the aggressive Physio and massage treatments, and my own ignorance in believing and doing what the so-called medical professionals were saying had contributed to my injuries, not healed them, as I still had inflammation and pain. I decided that I needed to find what I was missing and to try something new.
It was then that I happened to stumble upon a Chiropractor giving computer based thermal imaging assessments on people that had back and neck issues. I was interested to see and hear what he had to share about my issues and was impressed by how he identified the painful areas in my spine by the amount of inflammation present. While I had been aware a few months ago that I hadn’t given my Body time to heal, it never dawned on me at the time that the real issue inflammation. I also wasn’t aware of what inflammation really was. Here is the medical definition of inflammation
It wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that I realized that the so-called medical profession simplifies and puts down inflammation as if it’s a side-effect and nuisance, something to get rid of, yet it’s a KEY factor in the Bodies attempt and ability to heal itself. While “they” are aware of the presence of inflammation, they haven’t a clue as to what causes the Body to respond and create inflammation, other than it’s related to some other disease or injury that they are also are ignorant to its cause and its natural healing process.
<quote> Inflammation is the body’s attempt at self-protection; the aim being to remove harmful stimuli, including damaged cells, irritants, or pathogens – and begin the healing process.<end quote>
And there is this medical doublespeak definition of Inflammation.
<quote> Inflammation does not mean infection, even when an infection causes inflammation. Infection is caused by a bacterium, virus or fungus, while inflammation is the body’s response to it. <end quote>
Of course the common medical answer to treating inflammation is… you guessed it… DRUGS. Pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs actually suppress the Body’s ability to heal itself and instead, create a false sense of healing which actually makes natural healing to take longer. Pain killer drugs Anti-inflammatory drugs
The second part of having the accident has to do with healing my body and my physical injuries. After my accident on Dec. 03, I was taken to the hospital and after an ultra sound and a few X-rays, I was released. On Dec. 05, I had an appointment to see my doctor that lasted all of three minutes. After a brief exam, she said to take it easy and to take Tylenol for any pain. Later she had her receptionist call me to say that my hearing issues were related to having a mild concussion.
For the next few days I suffered with my aches and pains getting worse, and I was only getting about three hours sleep . When I got my insurance claim forms I dropped in to the Doctors office to have them filled out so that I could begin to get physiotherapy or whatever I needed, and said I’d pick them up later. The receptionist informed me that I needed an appointment and that the earliest was on Dec. 12.
I saw the doctor on Dec. 12 and when I began telling her of the issues I was having, and showing her that I had little strength in both hands, she coolly asked me if I wanted to fill out the forms or discuss my issues. I said, “WTF!” and not in a polite way. I have a concussion, headache, loss of healing, whiplash, and other aches and pains and you give me this bullshit.” I then said that I had called a lawyer to begin proceedings for a pain and suffering claim. She interrupted me and said, we’ll do the form later, let me see your hands.
After an brief examination, she filled out a hospital requisition form for X-rays on both my hands and wrists as she said that I might have fractured or dislocated some small bones in my wrist. She also gave me a form to see about getting physiotherapy and massage for my whiplash and the other aches and pains. I have my first physiotherapy treatment on Monday Dec. 15 and I see her again on Dec. 18.
This issue is also related to the accident, but this time it’s about loving my Body and speaking up and NOT TRUSTING a so-called professional that you ASSUME is looking after your best interests. I need to take responsibility for how my Body feels and get the help I need to heal it regardless of what other people might say or think., or are offended by my directness.
November 16, Friday. There are more phrases and words that are coming to my awareness, this time it’s the word “Word” itself. I remember a phrase in the Bible, (New Testament) that spoke of the word. I looked it up and it was – John 1: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
While I believe that the “word” is a key element of creation and creating what we desire, it’s not in the way that we think. I feel that the word is a combination of thought and feeling, and when spoken, given physical vibration, it manifests our desires. That doesn’t mean that all we need to do is to speak and express what we desire in order to create it, but that it also has to be felt, and that both the thought and the feeling have to be without any denial present, that includes expectation and that is where intent comes into play.
Spirit (our thoughts) is light and electric in frequency/vibration, while the Soul, our feelings and emotions are magnetic. This electromagnetic energy can be raised or lowered in frequency or vibration and has infinite possibilities. Our Body and physical reality that is of a lower vibration, is manifested from this electromagnetic energy. In our physical reality, this energy is stepped down in frequency to create dense physical matter like light, sound and even lower to create gases, water, animals, plants and stone.
While we commonly define frequency as cycles per second, like in the chart, it can be increased to range from (X) cycles / trillionth of a second and higher to infinity. On the other end of the frequency scale, it can be decreased to range to cycles per minute, hour, day, week, year, century, millennium, and beyond and also to infinity. Now how all this relates to the “Word” and Vibration and energy is still a mystery to me, but I feel that all this wouldn’t be coming to my awareness if there wasn’t a good reason for it.
A couple of months ago I bought some used laptop computer RAM from a guy on the internet through Kijiji. Last night I installed a 1GB and 2BG RAM module into my MacBook. I pressed the power button and it didn’t turn on. I checked to see that it was installed properly and tried again, it still didn’t work. Thinking that the RAM was faulty, I then reinstalled the old RAM and tried again. It still wouldn’t turn on. I went back and forth a half a dozen times and still nothing. My MacBook was dead. I was angry and at a loss for words as I just screwed my MacBook that was working fine.
I never turned the MacBook on before I installed the RAM to see if it was working, but I had just used it a couple of days ago, and I even charged up the battery so I had no reason to think there was a problem. So now I’ll have to take it to a computer shop to see what happened. Fuck! It was working great with the 2GB RAM it had, so why did I need to force it to 3 GB, just to max out the specs.
11:30 AM, I called a local computer repair shop and talked to a tech that told me that the problem might be that I needed to reset the computer PRAM settings to accommodate the new RAM. He suggested that I install the old RAM and then reset the PRAM and see if that worked, and he told me how to do it. I tried several times, but it didn’t work. Frustrated, I packed it up and took it down to the shop where he had a look at it and said that it looked like my logic board was toasted and that it would cost close to $1,000.00 to fix it, and that it wasn’t worth it. So now my Macbook that was working great, is basically a pile of junk and only good for parts. I took it home and during the next couple of days I tried different things to see if it would boot up, but nothing worked. Finally I decided to post it on Kijiji and sell it for parts.
I’m feeling at a loss, frustrated and angry in that my wanting the computer to be bigger, better and faster, caused me to turn it into a pile of junk. instead of just accepting it as it was, I destroyed it.
Dah! I just realized that’s also what I’ve been doing to my Body. Ever since I was young, I wanted to be bigger, faster and better. I was/am not happy with the way my Body is as I have judgments and expectations on it. I’m comparing myself to others that I think are better than me. Ahhhh! This also goes back to lost hopes dreams and desires and that I never did the things I wanted in my youth, and now that I’m older, my Body isn’t able to do that, and so I feel cheated and robbed. It’s my Mind that wants my Body to be this way or that way, to do this or that. It’s my Mind that is always nudging and pushing my Body to do more, and then when it does more, my Mind wants even more, as it’s never satisfied. Each time the Body digs deeper to do more, it kills itself little by little in the process, and is able to do even less that it did before.
It’s just like I’m thinking of getting another vehicle that’s bigger and better than the Toyota tercel that I’m now driving as I’m not happy with it. Fuck! This is insane. What’s with this insane drive for more, better, faster?
April 10 I watched a TV program this morning about python hunters in Florida. They came upon a python that was partly eaten and when they went to pick it up, it moved, it was still alive. At first they couldn’t figure out what was going on but when they began to examine the injury they determined that it was the result of birds that had pecked at it. They then noticed several vultures in nearby trees and they put two and two together and determined that the snake had been caught out in the open when the weather had turned cooler and it couldn’t get to shelter. That was when the vultures decided to make a meal of it as the python was too cold and too slow to defend itself. They had dragged the snake into the sunlight to examine its wounds and within a few minutes, the heat of the sun revived the snake and gave it the energy to try to get away.
I know that reptiles, fish and insects are cold blooded animals and don’t have an internal source of heat (fire) and so they need the sun to warm their blood and give them the ability to move, to animate life.
I feel that in humans and most other mammals that are warm blooded, that this is where Heart and the blood come in as that’s where the fire of life comes from. Heat is transferred by the blood to all parts of the Body and keep our core temperature and vital organs at a near constant rate of 98.6 degreed F (37degrees C). If we are sick and bacteria and viruses are attacking our Body, then it is our blood that tries to fight off the invaders, but the battle also throws off our Bodies ability to maintain its proper temperature as the glands regulating our bodies temperature are also affected by the invaders.
The hypothalamus is located in the brain next to the pineal and pituitary gland and is said to control our bodies temperature. So while the hypothalamus is the thermostat, it’s not the furnace that produces the heat. The hypothalamus is also a part of our endocrine system. Another gland that is also part of this system is the thymus gland that sits just above our heart. While the thymus also fights disease, it’s also known in ancient times as the life force.
I’m wondering if this gland is somehow our mini furnace? Something has to be generating this heat and it’s not just the by product of our Body digesting food, as people that haven’t eaten for days still maintain their body heat. The other thing is that if the digesting of food was responsible for creating body heat, then we should be hotter after a meal as we have more food to put in the fire. Something is going on that science hasn’t picked up on, or they have and are keeping it a secret… So the big question is, what is producing our internal fire or heat source to maintain life?
2012 March 30 6:50 am I was just thinking of how I do all the things that I THINK are helping my Body, but that I’m actually doing the REVERSE. I’m denying what I don’t like, what I don’t want to accept that my Body is showing me, and how I look to outside things to make my Body either feel good, or look better.
What I need to do, is what the message said, to listen to my Body. If it’s an ache, pain or illness, I need to listen and feel what my Body is holding and work on releasing that unloving denied energy that is creating the imbalance.
If I don’t like what I see with my Body, gray hair, saggy skin, wrinkles, and a lack of strength and vitality etc, then instead of trying to force the body to exercise or use external products to try to reverse the aging process, I need to do the opposite. And again, I need to listen to my Body and let it tell me what I needs to do and to help it rejuvenate itself by finding what it is holding and then releasing the programs and beliefs and the denied energy that it has been holding for years.
2012 April 01 This morning, as I was getting out of bed , I was thinking of what I was going to have for breakfast. I nonchalantly asked my Body what it would like and to my surprise, I distinctly heard a voice in my head, say, “I’d like some porridge this morning.”
I asked, “With strawberries and Blueberries?”
I heard my Body reply, “No strawberries, just blueberries as the strawberries are not healthy.”
I sat on my bed for a few moments, taking in all that just happened. I got up feeling a happiness and lightness in my Body that I haven’t felt since I was a child. It brought tears to my eyes.
2012 March 19, The present issues I’m working on is healing my Body and manifesting my desires and that includes dealing with illness and aging that are manifested by the Body. While there are countless forms of disease, there is only one underlying cause, and that is denial. Denial, the denied energy (reversed polarity) from all parts of the self is what causes the disease and aging. Although it’s not obvious, it’s the unseen role of denial that is the root of our beliefs and judgments, and I’ve found that one of the biggest limitations and judgments on our Being is our social and personal definitions of who and what we are. If you make a list of all your negative “I am” faults, you will have a record of all your limiting beliefs and judgments. Some of my limiting “I am” beliefs and judgments are:
I am getting old because:
I’m not as strong as I once was
I’m not as energetic as I once was
I am getting white hair
I am losing my hearing
I am losing my eyesight
I am feeling pain in my bones
I am feeling pain in my muscles
While I have some knowledge, insights and understandings into the issues in my life from my past emotional healing experiences, I still don’t have the understandings I need to solve this current illness and aging issue with my Body. I have yet to apply my knowledge and experience it in a real life situation, in the “now” or present moment, to see if what I think I know, really works.
The cause of all pain and suffering is denial.
2012 Feb 19 12:30 am Sunday, I just had a memory flashback of not wanting to die and how panicked my Mind was. It was in morbid terror, not wanting to die. I don’t know where this feeling and image came from as I was just drifting off to sleep when I was startled by it.
A few seconds later I had flashed back to my childhood when my mother tried to drown me and how I felt free when my Spirit was out of my Body, Hovering above my Body that lay still and motionless in a small bathtub, relieved that it (the hate) was finally over and that now I could have peace.
Then I flashed back to the night I was conceived and again the feelings of not wanting to be here, as there was no love. Although they were married, my father was basically raping my mother. But this feeling of wanting to leave feels different than the previous one. It’s more like Heart feeling he didn’t want to be here as it was not the love and life he desired, or expected.
Humm, this is getting complicated.
February 18 7:15 AM So in order to stop the cycle of death and reincarnation, and to bring all the presently untapped physical senses into reality, Spirit (Mind) has to begin to not only accept what the Body, Will and Heart are feeling in the present moment, but to also feel what happened to them in the past. Spirit needs to go where it has never gone before and experience what it thinks will kill it, to a place where Will/Body were abandoned and left to die. It’s Body (form) that holds the most denials as even the Will gradually has to leave it, not that she wanted to, but she had no choice.
Feb 18 1:10 PM Not that all of Heart left after Spirit left, as only the part of Heart that is Spirit polarized left, leaving the Will polarized part of Heart to die along with Body and Will. I just felt the heartbreak of both Spirit polarity Heart in having to leave the Body/Will, and the Will polarity of itself and how he felt he had no choice, and how Will polarity Heart, felt broken, betrayed, alone and a host of other feelings and emotions. Will polarity Heart was also trapped in a dying Body and quickly losing consciousness, meaning that the physical heart and circulatory system and blood were also dying, and in the process, cutting off possibility of physical life from the rest of the Body.
This is horrible! What a fucking heartbreaking waste! I don’t know what else I can call it as there are just too many feelings and words to describe what I just felt. It’s all based on imprinting that goes back to the very beginning, to original Cause.
Before you can know what life is, you need to know what death is.
To know what love is, you need to know what is not love.
If any part of us is in denial of another part of ourselves, that part being denied is receiving death. So how can we call what we are experiencing life, when a part of us is dying? Cutting off parts of us that are dying only means that we are losing more consciousness and essence. Eventually Spirit, that is electric in nature, also dies because without the Wills Magnetic essence there is no longer the compliment of forces necessary for Spirit/Will to co-exist. Without the Yin, there is no Yang.
February 18 6:25 AM I was thinking about death and how Spirit (Mind) has never experienced what our Body and Will have experienced. When a person dies, it’s the Spirit (life force) that leaves first, and then, within a few seconds, Heart (represented by our physical heart) stops and with that, there is no longer any flow of the life force to nourish the Body.
The Will, being magnetic in nature, doesn’t leave the Body immediately, nor does she want to as life is what she desires, but without Spirit presence, to animate Body with life, the Body cannot exist in the form it had. Without Spirit, the Will is slowly forced to leave the Body, and as she leaves, the parts of the Body begin to return to the original essence and elements that it was made from. One thing I need to mention is that just because Spirit and Heart have left the Body/Will, that doesn’t mean that the Body’s and Will’s ability to feel and sense what is going on has stopped, as only Body’s ability to move and respond has ceased to function. It can still feel pain in all those parts that still have Will presence, it just can’t move and respond to them.
It’s like a person that is in a coma and while they are unable to communicate, they are totally aware of what is going on, they just can’t move their eyes, speak, or even move their finger to show they are alive and aware of their surroundings and the physical and emotional pain they are in. A person in a coma still has some part of their Spirit essence in their Body as it hasn’t totally decided to leave, yet. It has lifted most of it’s essence and consciousness, except for what is needed to keep the body/Will alive. Heart presence is still in the Body to maintain the flow of life essence. Left unattended, the person would be unable to feed or care for themselves and unless Spirit chose to return, a slow and agonizing dying process would follow until such time that Spirit did leave and Body/Will would feel abandoned, unloved, rejected, and heartbroken.
I just felt and realized that while Spirit has never experienced what Body and Will have, that there is a part of Heart essence that has remained and experienced an aspect of dying. Although this part of Heart has momentarily remained, it has only experienced Spirit leaving and only the very beginning of the emotional and physical pain that the Will and Body was feeling, as when it felt its terror of death, it was quick to follow Spirit. Spirits terror is to experience dying and death, as life is what it is, and Heart has similar issues. When Spirit (Mind) says that death is nothing, it is only nothing to Spirit because Spirit has never experienced it, so there was NO THING to experience.
Humm? This relates back to the beginning of how Spirit is in terror of losing any part of the Body’s FULL sensations, especially sight, and sound, as then it is in the dark, the unknown, and left to the remaining senses, of touch, taste and smell, feeling crippled and powerless.
Loss of the physical senses and the body’s 
physical abilities of its youth terrify the Spirit and is in part, the cause of aging, as Spirit tries to deny what has happened to Body as a result of the experiences it, and the Will have had to endure without the acceptance and help from Spirit. All the times when Spirit/Will/Body/Heart were confronted with traumatic experiences, Spirit did what it thought it needed to do in order to survive, by cutting off and denying the parts of itself, it’s Will, (feelings and emotions) as well as Body sensations. It’s all these denials, (denied reversed energy) that the body is forced to hold and carry. It’s the LOAD (Lies, Omission, Avoidance, Denial) that gradually weighs down the Body, causing it to move and react slower and not heal like it once did , and to also diminish its senses. That’s when Spirit begins to become aware of the things it doesn’t like about the Body, which only adds to the denials that the Body is forced to hold, thus accelerating the process of illness and aging.
Note: In looking for an autopsy picture to use on my blog post I happened upon this picture and then followed it to the main website. If you want to see and feel what a medical team does to a Body that is still alive, but can’t move, then visit this site.
I must warn you, the pictures are very graphic and disturbing.
2012 Feb 17 The Bodies sensations of sight, sound, taste, touch and smell are very much like the Will, in that they can differentiate between what is pleasant and what is not pleasant, loving and unloving. This is most evident with the senses of taste, touch and smell, as the Mind has formed judgments that override the input of sight and sound, with sight being the most overridden, as in the expression, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” This overriding of our Will, and Body is what is learned through our experiences.
Before I wrote the above paragraph, I was thinking of my hearing problem, and how I had difficulty hearing my brother last night when he came to visit me. I thought how strange and empty my world would be without sound and the ability to hear all the sounds I presently hear. I then closed my eyes and thought of all the objects, shapes, colors that would disappear if I also lost my sight, and how helpless I would be trying to make our my around and function.
All five of our senses have special properties that allow us to experience reality in different ways, and to lose even one would have a profound effect on our lives. For me, the senses I most value, in order of importance would be sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. I feel there are even more physical senses that we possess, it’s just that we don’t know how, or we can’t use them at the present moment. I feel they are much like how we can use technology to expand our awareness, but we would not need technology to experience them, as we would be able to have these abilities naturally.
2012 Feb 15, Today I started my three day Apple fast / cleanse and for some reason it’s really affecting me quickly. Usually my Body doesn’t start to react until the second day, but today I have a dull headache and I’ve had three, one-hour catnaps today. That may also be due to the fact that I have very little to eat after breakfast yesterday. I also feel cold and my bones and my muscles are aching. During my last catnap I was feeling the heartbreak of lost innocence and the following words came to me.
Lost innocence:
When you realize that telling the truth is not acceptable, but telling a lie is.
When you become ashamed of your body, and how you look.
2012 Feb 05 Sunday 7:45 am I’m not feeling well. I have a cold, stuffy nose, sore throat, earache and my hearing is partially blocked in my left ear. I also feel sick to my stomach, tired, exhausted and weak. As I was feeling all these things in my body, I also felt how my Mind does not like what it feels. It wants the body to be fine, healthy, active, useful, and is disappointed with the Body when it can’t do what the Mind wants it to do. The Minds rejection of the Body is similar to its rejection of the Will (intuition, feelings and emotions) when it doesn’t like what the Will is feeling and so it rejects and denies her.
This is why there is an alliance between the Will and Body as the Body and Will both feel things and sensations. When the feelings and sensations are pleasant, the Mind (Spirit) has acceptance for them, but when they are not pleasant or don’t agree with what the Mind desires, or expects, the Mind rejects and denies them. When the Mind (Spirit) rejects the Will or Body, what they receive is not Spirits light, but either a mix of light and denial, or total rejection and denial. Denial is nothing, is death. So when the Mind does not like what it feels from the Will/Body polarity it is, by its non-acceptance, giving them denial and death to hold in their energy field.
The more the Mind denies, the more the Body becomes sick and ages and the more numb the Mind feels, thinking that numb is better than the unpleasantness it would feel if it accepted what the Body and Will was telling it. The Body gets sick and ages as it is not only holding the Minds denial energy of the Body, but also the Minds denial energy of the Will, as this energy has no place else to go, as the Mind will not accept it and allow it to be expressed (released). Showing illness and aging is also the Bodies way of showing the Mind what it is being forced to hold by the Minds denials and the more the mine hates and denies what the Body reflects, the more is being shown.
What used to give the Mind pleasure was the body sensations of sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch along with an adrenaline rush and sexual orgasm. But with all the repeated denials through time this has since accounted for the Body’s diminished ability to respond in the same manner it did when it was younger, and holding less denial. All of the body’s ability to provide pleasure for the Mind have gradually diminished. It can’t see, hear, taste or touch like it used to and the Body is not as agile and quick so it can’t do the things that used to give it an adrenaline rush, and the sexual drive of youth and orgasm has also diminished. All these negative issues also leave the Body with Minds judgments on the Body of what’s the use. I’m getting old. I’m no good, useless. I’m not wanted, not desired, and the list goes on and on. These are similar judgments that the Mind has given the Will that is also denied and rejected.
So how do I heal this?
I’ve gone blank
I don’t feel that it’s only acknowledging what the body is feeling now, but also going back like I did/do with the Will to find the original cause.