Says 222 – The Beast – Revelations 12:2 & 13:2

I felt I needed to share this today (2012 Nov 08). There are major changes coming, including a shift in consciousness for those that are awakening. The imprints,programs and beliefs that are presently keeping the old system alive are slowly being exposed for what they are, and the Beast, will try to do everything to maintain control. Denials are ending, and the truth is revealing the unloving corruption that has been in power for eons, and is beginning to collapse.

PS: No, I am NOT a Christian, nor do I follow any organized religion. I do however, take note of certain phrases and passages (in any religion) that strike a chord in me. Later, when I feel more into it, I express what I feel it means to me.

Says 218 – Three causes of inflammation in the Body

218-stressSo, what does all this mean? What is the common thread in my previous posts?  What I am beginning to see is that there are three basic causes for inflammation to occur in the Body, or rather, that Inflammation is not the problem, it’s the Body’s messenger that there is a problem.

(1) Physical Trauma

(2) Ingested, injected, inhaled contaminates (Food, water, vaccines, air, EMF) Trauma

(3) Emotional Trauma

Now emotional trauma (3) is associated with number (1) and (2) as when one is experiencing these, there is an immediate reaction and a host of strong emotional feelings, most of which are denied expression, Keyword – DENIED.  (2) Would have more of a delayed effect, but would eventually have the same emotional response as (1) when the Body responds to whatever  is attacking it’s natural healthy way of Being.

In my journey, I’ve discovered that any denied emotional energy is either pushed outside our physical body (fragmentation) or is stored in various parts of the Body. Hummmmm, I just realized that while I’ve worked on healing my fragmentation, but I haven’t really worked on the emotions that are stored in my Body, in my cells and DNA. (Scratching my head, wondering how I’m going to heal this.)

So looking over the list I made, there are two key factors that that need to be explored. They are SHOCK & HABITS. Shock applies mainly to (1) and (3) while Habits applies primarily to (2).

218-ruow-1That prompted me to retrieve and open the book, (RIGHT USE OF WILL – Healing and Evolving the Emotional Body). I searched my personal index and on page 5, it says, “Habits are to the Body what judgments are to the Consciousness.”  So what I take from that (based on my previous work) is that the Spirit consciousness (Mind) has been in CONTROL of both the Will (Soul) Intuition, feelings and emotions, and the Body. And in both cases, it has denied what it doesn’t want to accept, and only accepts what “feels good.” It sets up judgments (right or wrong, good or bad) on both the Will and Body, more so on the Will, but also on the habits for the Body to keep doing what it likes and makes it feel good. Of course any physical or emotional pain is not desired or accepted, but is quickly DENIED.

And here we go again…  LOL … It’s fascinating as I happened to visit my Facebook page and there was a link to the “Hearty Soul” site on feeling stress and how it affects the body. While I don’t agree with everything written, there are some part-truths that need to be explored. Coincidence? Not!

Says 214 – Toxic air, water, and products that affect our Body (Inflammation).

says-214-drug-portalBesides the toxic brew that we consume as FOOD that I listed in Says 212 / 213, I forgot two major toxic sources that are widely used and accepted. (1) Vaccines and prescription drugs. (2) alcohol and a host of so-called illegal drugs, like weed, meth, heroin, and others. Alcohol just reminded me of another toxic “unnatural” food, and that is milk, and the host of hormones and antibiotics that it contains.

214-sewage-water-pollutionWATER : Some of the toxic chemicals and bacteria in the water that we drink, and bathe in, and in the products we use. They include,  raw sewage, industrial waste, pesticides, herbicides, fluoride, chlorine, lead, mercury, PCB’s, Arsenic, Dioxins, DDT, Glyphosate, PFASs, Radioactive Contaminants, Pharmaceutical Drugs, Chromium, plastics water bottles,

BODY CARE PRODUCTS: Then there are the toxic chemicals that we put on our Bodies, or use in our homes include, laundry and dish detergent, hand soap, body soaps, shampoo, toothpaste, sanitizers, cosmetics, nail polish, hygiene products, baby diapers, perfume, deodorant, aftershave, sun blockers, body lotions, air fresheners,

says-214-air-pollutionAIR: Air pollutants that we breathe such as, car exhaust, industrial fumes, cigarette smoke, paint fumes, air fresheners, toxic scents from the things we put on our bodies or use. Not to forget the toxic brew from chemtrails that contain barium, nano aluminum-coated fiberglass [known as CHAFF], radioactive thorium, cadmium, chromium, nickel, desiccated blood, mold spores, yellow fungal mycotoxins, ethylene dibromide, and polymer fibers. 214-chemtrails

ELECTROMAGNETIC: And of course, there are the invisible energies that also affect our Bodies such as: Microwave ovens, cell phones, Wifi, Smart meter, fluorescent light bulbs, LED lights, Radio and TV signals, EMF, radar, nuclear radiation, electromagnetic radiation from our electricity.

So with all these toxic chemicals and energies attacking our Body, creating inflammation and disease, you wonder why the so-called medical professions first thought to help the Body heal, is to prescribe pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs?  By now, I hope that you can see that the main agenda of the medical profession is not healing, but in creating customers for the pharmaceutical industry, that in turn, ensures that they make a good and profitable living.  But of course, these are just the wild rambling rants of a conspiracy theorist, and NOT those of a highly trained MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL or an ACCREDITED RESEARCH SCIENTIST….  LOL  Saysame

Says 213 – Causes of Inflammation

212-chronic-inflamitory-diseasesSo the questions that beg to be asked about Inflammation are.

  1. What is the Body fighting and why?
  2. Why is inflammation considered a thread to health, if it’s the Body natural reaction to a foreign invader?
  3. Why is modern medicine attacking inflammation, and the already stressed Body with drugs?
  4. If the Body is activated to fight the above list of diseases, what are their cause? It has to be something that is either associated with physical trauma, or something that the Body took in via food, air or water, or related to some form of emotional trauma.
  5. Such a massive scale of deadly diseases has to be related to Food, air and water.
  6. So how can food (carbohydrates, protein, fat, vitamins, minerals that have been around for centuries be a problem?
  7. It’s not the food, but what is in or on the food that is the problem.
  8. What has changed?213-fat-man
  9. We no longer have natural food, but food like products  that contain a host of toxic chemicals that are foreign invaders to the Body. GMO products like Palm Oil, Soybean oil, High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS), Glyphosate (roundup herbicide), Fluoride (in water, toothpaste, etc), Arsenic, aluminum, BHT (Butylated Hydroxytoluene), Polysorbate 60, Propylene glycol alginate (E405) Artifical Sweeteners, Sodium, Benzoate and Potassium Benzoate,  Butylated Hydroxyanisole (BHA), Sodium Nitrates And Sodium Nitrites, food colours, MSG, etc., etc., etc…213-sick-womanSo… if you begin to put the pieces of the puzzle together, you begin to see a common thread. It’s not the Body’s inflammation that is the problem, but the chemicals and GMO products that the so-called medical profession has APPROVED  safe for human consumption that is the problem.. Oh wait…!!! I get it ! Create a problem so that you can pretend to solve it, and in the process, make a hell of a lot of money. Who cares about peoples health, they are now paying CUSTOMERS… That’s the American dream isn’t it…  Make lots and lots of FUCKING MONEY as money is power, and status.  213-american-dream

Says 148 – The Unholy Trinity

2013 March 30 – There are three places on Earth that are in a country but are not a part of that country and are situated in the middle of densely populated areas. These districts are completely autonomous and answerer to no other country or laws. They are;
unholy trinity
1) The City – the financial district in London, England
2) The District of Columbia in Washington USA
3) The Vatican in Rome Italy

I also got that they are representative of the unholy trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost

With Father being the King – England
Son – the Warrior – USA
The Holy Ghost – Religion – Italy

These districts control the major wealth, military and religions of the world.
Do a Google search and you will begin to see just how powerful these groups are.

Says 137 – Going to see what Noni Juice can do for me

Noni Juice2013 February 6 since the Apple cider vinegar wasn’t working I remembered taking Noni juice a few years ago to help balance my system. I went to the health food store and picked up a small bottle and decided to take it three times a day as directed. This juice is totally different than what I had 15 years ago. While Noni juice has its own distinctive taste, this product has very little taste at all. It’s like comparing watered-down orange lemonade to freshly squeezed orange juice, it’s just bland. The other thing is that the Nonie juice that I took 15 years ago I noticed a difference in my body within 2 to 3 days. I had a kidney infection at the time and it cured it up like magic and I felt 100 % better all around. I’m not feeling or seeing any change in my body as I’m using this one. Since I already have it and don’t want to waste I’ll keep taking it for a few more days, but for now,it’s very disappointing. The brand name that I got was Flora and it’s supposed to be certified organic fresh Hawaiian Noni juice It is concentrated as they recommend using 5 – 15 ml in a glass of water.

Says 136 – I Gots a cold – Not feelin good

apple cider vinegar2013 Jan 30 Yesterday I began to get chills and fevers and also a mild headache and a runny nose. Today I realized that the Apple cider vinegar I was taking was acidic and it was running down my immune system so that now I was getting a cold. I stopped taking it and started to take baking soda and water in an attempt to bring my blood ph level back into the alkaline state.

Acidic - alkaline2013 February 5, I’ve been sick for the past four days. Not only do I have a cold with headache, sinus, runny nose, fever and chills, but I’m also suffering from severe lower back and neck pain. There were a couple of nights that I didn’t know which way to turn or what to do to get to sleep as I was in agony.

I was feeling better today and went to the chiropractor today and he gave me some relief for my back. I realize that I’ve been struggling with a cold or whatever for the past couple months and I think taking the Apple cider vinegar was pivotal in changing the ph level in my blood and letting it manifest in the way it did. I still have over half a bottle left and I’ll just used for cooking or whatever.

Says 134 – Apple Cider Vinegar Detox

Apple cider Vinegar2013 Jan 20 I usually do an Apple cleanse this time of year, but this year, I decided to try something new. The reason for the change is that I noticed that I eat very little food that is either sour or bitter, yet I have no problem with sweet or spicy food. I thought of how vinegar removes calcium build up, where water is involved, like shower heads, tiles, counters, etc. I then thought of how cholesterol and plaque buildup deposits in our blood vessels and thought that maybe adding vinegar to my diet would help get rid of any potential issues. Part of all this is because I have a doctor’s appointment at the end of February and I need to get blood work done before that.

I decided to do an apple vinegar detox where I would take 2 – 3 tablespoons of organic Apple Cider Vinegar in a cup of distilled water and add a bit of honey to sweeten the taste. I would take this concoction 2 – 3 times a day before a meal. It didn’t taste that bad, but neither did it taste that good. After a few days, I decided to try another suggestion and that was to take it with tomato juice instead of water. I substituted tomato juice for a garden cocktail and that was quite enjoyable. I decided to do this cleanse until the end of the month or until I noticed some unpleasant side effects.

Says 132 – Things coming together

way of working out

 

 

 

 

2013 Jan 11 Well things are coming together. I’ve done more cleaning and organizing. I’ve been working on editing book 2 and it’s going nicely. Yesterday I picked up a used bookcase to replace an old one-drawer dresser that is big and bulky and of little use. I also picked up an old home movie screen for $4.50 at a thrift store, which I intend to use as a backdrop when I begin to do YouTube videos. Later that morning the property owner came back with the re-finished cupboard doors that I later re-installed. He also took the one-drawer dresser away. I unpacked a couple of boxes, including my books that haven’t seen daylight for quite some time. The ceiling fan and light have been repaired, (faulty receiver). I also got hooked up to the internet that is being shared in the building. So now, I’m basically set up and settled in, and I must say, it feels good, like a home… For how long, I don’t know but for now, I will enjoy it. I’ve also begun to do my exercise again and I can even do my indoor running and jumping as there is no one below me..

Says 130 – Clean up disaster

paint wrinkling2013 Jan 01 Yesterday I bought some TSP cleaner to wash the walls and remove the smoke film. I began in the kitchen where the landlord had used Spray Nine yesterday to see if there was any problem with the product. There was none so I continued with the rest of the kitchen. I then began on a wall in the living room/bedroom and then made my way around the entire room. Next I tackled the bathroom and closet door. Just before supper I pulled out the fridge and washed the sides and walls and then washed the upper kitchen cupboards and before stopping for supper.

pot scrubberAfter supper, I cleaned the bottom cupboard and I was finished… or so I thought. As I was cleaning, I was shocked and heartbroken to see the finish peeling and blistering and falling off like dry or sun burnt skin or fish scales. I washed it with clear water again and again but nothing helped. I decided to let it dry and see what it looked like in the morning. The only thing I can think of that I did differently was use the Spray Nine he had left as I felt that the TSP hadn’t really cleaned the bottom section like it did the top. There had to be a chemical reaction with the TSP, Spray Nine and the finish to create such an effect. The thing was that it didn’t affect the stain under the clear finish, just the thin clear finish that I was able to scrape off with my finger nail or a soft plastic non scratch pot scrubber. I was prepared to pay to have them re-finished or to buy new front component replacements. Needless to say, I didn’t have a good sleep that night.

The next morning I called the landlord and told him what happened and he said he would be out in the afternoon to look at it. When he arrived, he said that he thought about the problem last night and said the problem was his, as he had sprayed the bottom units with a clear coat. He also said that he would fix it. He removed the doors to take with him.

He also had a look at the ceiling fan and light that wasn’t working except on full speed and bright light, and thought it might be a bad remote control. We also exchanged a brown recliner for another blue swivel rocker he had.

Says 129 – Moving Day

Moving day2012 Dec 31, Well I officially got the key to my bachelor apartment today but I didn’t move in until the morning of Dec 31. I met the landlord at 10 am and he was busy cleaning the apartment. He had washed one wall in the kitchen, trying to get the cigarette smoke film off. He left around noon but I stayed and did some extra cleaning. I then left to pick up some supplies. I stopped and got takeout for supper before returning to my old room. I told Paul that I would be out on Monday morning, Dec 31. He was hoping that I would move out on Sunday, but I didn’t feel like rushing or moving in the dark just to make him happy.

2012 Dec 31 I went out for breakfast, then went back and to my room began loading up my stuff. It took two trips but I was out by 11:00 am. The second trip was basically for the furniture I had recently picked up, my computer desk and chair, book case and night table. I slowly unpacked and organized myself.

Says 121 – Warning – Toxic Tangerines

Ttangerines

Tangerine oranges are in stores for the Xmas season. I usually don’t pay too much attention to them but after my first tangerine that kind of tasted different, I got the bag and read the label that stated that the oranges had been treated with the following chemicals..

 

 

Thiabendazole

and/or

othor-phrnylphenol

and/or

Imazalil

The oranges were also coated in food grade shellac or resin to maintain freshness.

I checked the internet and was shocked to find that all three chemicals were extremely toxic.. I mean EXTREMELY…

After reading the toxic side effects I threw the bag in the garbage…
Be aware of what you buy…. other growers could also be using these chemicals.

These oranges I bought came from a huge grower in Flordia…

Premier Tangerines
Premier Citrus Packers
Vero Beach Flordia

Product Bar code 33383 10316

Says 119 – Dumbed down Society – Frat boy mentality

December 3 Monday, On Saturday night Paul was in his room smoking weed and playing loud music until just past 11:00 pm. On Sunday morning, he and his girlfriend went out for breakfast and when they returned they smoked up again. I was getting a headache and decided to get out of the house for a while. I went downstairs to put on my shoes and his girlfriend was vacuuming the carpet by the front door. As I put my shoes on, I sarcastically said to her that Paul must really have a sore hand today with all the pot that he’s been smoking. She looked puzzled at first but then got to gist of my words as he had told me he only smokes because his right hand hurts and has arthritis. After supper, they smoked another doobie. It’s like now that I’m moving out, he doesn’t care what he does . I’ve also noticed that when I’m around him and he knows he’s did something, like smoking weed in the house, he whistles or hums which is also a sign of being activated and in denial.

Today, a roommate that was returning from work brought in a hand-delivered letter that had been stuck in the front door, and put it on the kitchen counter. I glanced at it and saw that it was from the local hydroelectric company and had the word URGENT stamped on it in big red letters. It was addressed to the owner and in the lower right hand corner of the address box, I could clearly see the words arrears and disconnect in bold red letters. For him to get such a letter, he has to be a good 2 to 3 months behind in payment. A couple of weeks ago, it was the Internet that was cut off, and now this. That makes me wonder what else is he behind in paying, his mortgage?

It’s interesting that all this is happening as I’m observing that he has a self-centered frat boy mentality and only pretends to be interested in other people if it serves his purpose. While he has a construction type job where he says he is making $25.00/hour, he is just in it for whatever money he can make to help keep him in his life style. I assume that it’s not enough because he also has three room-mates that help pay the bills. What he really likes is just to have fun with his buds, get high, have some drinks, get laid, play sports, add bling to his car, and pretend he has all the money in the world. His girlfriend, that I’ve talked to and call Cinderella, is his lover and mother figure as she picks up after him and cleans the house, while he busies himself looking over his stuff. Besides smoking, he is also brushing his teeth in the kitchen sink again as well as dirty dishes in the sink and on the counter. l know he isn’t stupid, and that what he is doing or not doing is what he has learned and has gotten away with as being acceptable behavior and all this self-centeredness is compounded by the use of pot, hard liquor and beer that clouds his thinking, reasoning and problem solving abilities.

Says 117 – Moving to a Bachelor Apartment

November 23 Friday, I got a phone call at 8:30 AM and was asked if I was still interested in the bachelor apartment that I had looked at on November 13. I said I was, but that I would like to have another look at it. He agreed and I went to see it at 9 AM. This time it was a mess typical for a young guy and there was also the smell of cigarette smoke. The smell of smoke began to clear after the window was open for a while and the fan turned on. I decided to take the apartment and gave the man first and last months rent in cash. I decided to wait until next week before telling Paul I was leaving at the end of December.

November 26 Monday. I heard Paul downstairs in the kitchen so I decided to go down and tell him that I would be leaving. He was surprised and disappointed, and said that it was a bad time as people were not looking to move around Christmas. He asked if I could give him two months notice and I said that I couldn’t as that would mean I would have to pay for January in two places. I told him that I had to take it for January 1 or lose it, and that I’ve been looking for my own place for a while and that the price was right. I told him that it was a difficult decision and that if it wasn’t a bachelor apartment, that I wouldn’t have taken it and wouldn’t be leaving. With that, there was nothing he could say or do. He left the kitchen and made his way upstairs.

UPDATE: Nov 28, I clicked on Kijiji to see if Paul has posted an ad yet and saw he hadn’t. What I did see was a guy looking for a room that worked at the same place as another room-mate. I emailed Paul and gave him the particulars and the link. He thanked me for the info, but said that his girlfriend was moving in, and that he was not going to rent it as she has children that I assume, will take my room.

Says 111 – The same issues are resurfacing

2012 Nov. 05 Monday Last night I went downstairs to make supper and I smelt hash/marijuana. I decided to make a quick supper of coleslaw and raw veggies and a dip and took it upstairs to my room to eat it there. I kept my door closed so that it didn’t get any worse but I had a headache for several hours. When I was downstairs, I also noticed that the dirty dishes from last night were still in the sink and on the counter. Not only that, but the toothbrushes and toothpaste are back on the window sill and behind the kitchen sink. As I was eating my supper, I decided to take my old toothbrush and put it on the kitchen window sill along with the others. I have no intention of using it but I hope it will make him think.

This reminds me of my roommates when I was going to DeVry Tech http://bachelors-degrees.devry.ca/ and when I was working before I got married. At that time, all that my roommates seemed to think and care about was getting drunk, drugs, sex, cars and partying. It’s like nothing else in the world mattered except feeling good and doing what gave them physical pleasure and made them happy, even if it was short lived, they just repeated the cycle. They also liked to present the illusion that they were capable of more thought and physical action, but that’s just how twisted their reality was and how they saw themselves as being something they are not. It’s like their mind is in a fog and they can’t seem to see through it, or rise above it by stopping the substance and physical habits that are creating the fog. The only things they can see are what is in front of their nose, and even then, they only see what they want to see.

Hummmmm. As this issue is reoccurring, it means that this is not the real issue. So what is it that I am not seeing? Humm? That I’m different, that I don’t feel like running with the crowd and doing the things that they are doing. Is that why I never had any real male friends and never had that so called, “male bonding experience?” I believe that female bonding is similar to male bonding, where girls and women need to do similar things that men do, just in a feminine way. It’s like a herd and pack mentality where one just follows and mimics the actions of the leader of the pack. Is this like the dance issue, where I was afraid to be me and that I had to be like the others. YES! I think/feel that is it. It’s just another version of the same program.

Says 103 – Sleepless night – Overcome with the smell of weed

2012 Oct 06 Saturday. 2012 Oct 06 Saturday. Last night Paul and his girlfriend were in his room, smoking pot and having sex. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth around 11:15 pm and no sooner had I opened my bedroom door when I was greeted with the smell of weed. I instantly went into a coughing fit but managed to brush my teeth. As I went back to my room and noticed that I hadn’t closed my door when I went to the bathroom. Needless to say my room was now filled with the smell of marijuana and I was coughing and hacking until the wee hours of the morning and didn’t get much sleep. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Paul, as he and his girlfriend were either in his room, or they had gone out.

Man! How can I get away from all this shit? Besides Paul smoking, everyone here drinks, not that I’ve seen them drunk, but they do drink when they come home from work, and even have a beer for breakfast. What is this trying to show me?

Says 102 – More issues coming up.

2012 Oct 04 I had previously noticed a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste on the kitchen window above the sink, and this morning as I was eating breakfast at the kitchen counter, Paul was brushing his teeth in the kitchen sink. I made the comment that living here was like living in a cabin in the bush, one bowl for everything. After a brief discussion, he said that he doesn’t like brushing his teeth in the bathroom sinks as he doesn’t like to clean up afterwards. I commented, so, you rather make a mess in the kitchen sink where we prepare our food and wash our dishes. He thought for a moment and said that he would not do it anymore if it upset me, which I said it did.

Paul has a large orange translucent sink in the bathroom upstairs, but that’s it. There is no cabinetry hiding the rough plumbing job and the sink is actually 3-4 inches too high for it to be comfortable unless you are over six feet tall and he is my height. The sink is about 4 feet wide, and 3.5 feet of that is the actual basin of the sink so there is very little counter space. There is a matching mirror on the wall, but that is all there is, there is no bathroom cabinet so everything just has to lay on the limited flat surface of the sink, or on the toilet tank. The bathroom on the main level has a clear glass sink and again there are no cabinets to store anything. It’s all for presentation and not functional. I said, it looks nice but they are basically useless.

While I was at it, I went over to the cutlery drawer and pulled out a disgusting can-opener and showed it to him. I asked him why it was in the drawer along with clean utensils. It was disgusting as it was rusty and caked with old and rotten food. He said that he didn’t use it, that he used the new one. I said that’s great, but why keep it in the drawer with the new one and the other kitchen utensils when it should be in the garbage. He took it and threw it in the garbage can under the sink. With that, I said that was my bitching for the day. He laughed it off as he went out the door to go to work. PS: The picture of the can opener is the actual one…

I also realized that the actions of Paul and his friend last night remind me of high school and my trying to hang out with assholes like them that just want to get drunk and fucked. I had issues with them back then and it’s back in my face again. Hummmm?

Says 100 – Getting settled in with my new digs.

2012 Oct 02 I was looking out my window of my new place, surveying the neighborhood and property when I noticed some “plants” growing between the shed and the backyard fence. I took my camera and used my telephoto zoom to have a closer look and sure enough, there were at least 20 + marijuana plants. So the obvious observation is that if he is growing it, he must also be smoking it. When I was originally looking at the place, he told me that a former OPP officer lived beside him. I wondered what arrangement he had with him that would allow him to grow weed in his backyard. The other thing is that the house is right next to a public school yard. Sure there is a fence, a small buss and a row of cedar trees blocking the view of the plants, but it wouldn’t take much for some curious student to look over the fence and into the yard, especially when the plants are higher than the fence.

20102 Oct 03, Paul, the owner, has a Rottweiler dog that is maybe a year or so old. He keeps the dog locked up in a cage in his room from the time when he leaves to go to work until he gets home at night. Tonight I heard the dog whining as he didn’t get home until around 9:00 pm. I was talking with Harry, the older tenant about the dog and that while I felt sorry for it, I didn’t want to become the dog sitter. Letting the dog out in the back yard, getting it back in and making sure that it wasn’t “chewing” things it shouldn’t and then putting it back it its cage is not a chore that I’m interested in.

This situation reminds me of when I was staying at my ex-wife’s place when she got the standard poodle pup and then had me look after it, taking it for a walk and such. Having a pet, especially a dog is like having a child, as they need not only care but also attention and to lock them in a cage is inhumane. Why have a dog if you can’t look after it in the way it needs to be looked after.

That evening my door was partly open and I could hear Paul talking with Harry across the hallway, and then Paul went into the bathroom to have a shower. A few minutes later a young man that I had never seen before (that had been drinking) popped his head into my room and with nodding head and a drunken grin, slurred, “What’s up?” I was working on my computer at the time and as I looked up at him, I said with a voice of disgust, “What’s up with you and who in the hell are you?” He backed off and I could then hear him talking to Harry and then a moment later, Paul joined the conversation. I could now hear this drunk boasting that they were going to a strip club to see some naked women and that us “older” guys should go as we might get lucky. The last part was either said louder, or the drunk guy had turned his head and directed his comment at me. I didn’t respond as I wasn’t sure if it was meant for me or Harry as I heard Harry talking to him but I couldn’t make out what was being said. Anyway, A few minutes the two of them left.

Paul has a girlfriend that has a four-year-old daughter that I’ve met, so why he feels he needs to go out to see strippers with this drunkard friend is beyond me. Man, what is it with these drunks and potheads and their womanizing.

Says 99 – Moving out

2012 Sept 26 I had emailed and received a reply to another room I was looking at in Woodstock. I went over to see it at 6:30 pm. There are two guys and the owner living there. The owner is a young guy in his 30’s as is one of the tenants. The other tenant is an older man. The kitchen is large with plenty of cupboard space and there is a spare fridge out in the garage if needed. I decided to take the place and paid the rent for October.

2012 Sept 27 This morning I spoke with Frank before he left for work and I told him that I would be moving out by noon on Sunday, Sept 30. We had a brief chat and I felt he honestly wanted tings to work out as he also doesn’t drink or smoke, but that he is caught between a rock and a hard place as he not only has to deal with the young ones, but also his wife that drinks, smokes and likes to party. He also has an issue with confrontation that he denied at first, but then realized he was lying to himself. He said he’d give me his card before I left and that maybe we could get together for a coffee sometime.

Sept 28 Kyle came home after a couple of days of being away and saw me packing up some of my stuff. He commented that it was too bad that things didn’t work out because I was older and didn’t fit in to the partying. He then mentioned that a young guy was moving in, so there would be no problems with partying as the owners like to party. I said that only one of the owners likes to party. His response was that one does, and that is all we need. Frank will have his work cut out for him.

Sept 30. I went out for breakfast and when I came back, I found Franks Business card under my door. I began packing up the rest of my stuff and loading my Honda and left just before 1:00 pm. I drove to my new home and was basically unpacked and moved in by 3:00 pm.

Says 97 – The walking dead

2012 Sept 25, I drove into Woodstock to look at a room that I saw listed on Kijiji. It turns out that the man is dying of cancer and has only a few months left to live. It started out in his colon, then moved to his liver and is now in his lymph glands, that can’t be operated on. He said that he maybe has four months, and that he hopes to see this Christmas, but that he doubts he will see another one. He said that besides having his colon removed, he had 5/8 of his liver removed, as well as a node that they later found on it. He now has a hernia protruding out of his abdomen where his liver used to be. He looks fine and healthy while he is sitting down. He seems quite calm, cool and collected in talking about his illness and imminent death, but that is NOT what is really going on. He’s a walking dead man. How does one deal with that? Again, I’m witnessing what is going on behind the scenes.

While we were talking, his wife took a phone call and went outside on the patio to talk. I asked him why he wants to rent out a room, something that they have never done before, if he has all this going on as it will just add stress to your relationship with your wife that is working and also looking after you. He didn’t reply to my questions, but said that another person, a nurse, was coming over later this afternoon to have a look at the room and that if she didn’t want it, that I could have it. I said that a nurse staying here would be of help to him and his wife as she could provide some assistance if needed. With that, I said my goodbyes and left.

2012 Sept 26, I received an email stating that the room had been taken.

Says 95 – Seeing what is unseen

2012 Sept 22 It appears that what I’m presently going through with all my recent moves and issues, is seeing and feeling what is going on behind the scenes. Seeing the world (reality) as it really is, even with all the pretending that is going on that is trying to present the illusion of something nice and loving. It reminds me of the movie of “Alice in Wonderland” and the Wizard of OZ.

Says 94 – Having a second look at potential new room

I got an reply email form the woman who had the room for rent stating that she had more questions for me before she decided to rent me the room. I replied that I too had some questions. She wanted me to come over in the morning as she had another person coming to have a look at it in the afternoon. I emailed her saying that the afternoon was more convenient for me but if the other person was ok with her, that she should rent them the room, as each of us still had unanswered questions that didn’t make the deal a certainty. I set up an appointment to see her at 4:00 pm and stated that she was to email me if she rented the room . I never received an email, so I went to see her and asked her what happened with the person that wanted to rent it and she said that she told them it was rented. I asked her why she would say that if we still have questions and we might change our minds about sharing this space. She never replied, but changed the subject.

We chatted for a good half hour and as we went along, I decided that it was not the right place for me for a number of reasons that were not evident on my original visit. She was renting a three bedroom, two-story home with a basement and was asking $500.00/month to help pay the rent, which was 25% higher than most places. She also mentioned that she was going in for a hip replacement in January and was not going to be too mobile for a while, and I felt her hinting things she would like me to do to help her. I asked her why she just didn’t move and get a smaller place, one that she could afford, and a one level apartment that would be easier for her to move around in. She became adamant that she had put too much money into this place to leave it. She was a penny pincher when it came to using hydro, yet didn’t see how she was wasting electrical energy. She had a small kitchen and what she offered me for my food was one shelf in a small cupboard. She was also paranoid about germs and near the end of our conversation she went to the kitchen and used some hand sanitizer which sent me into a coughing fit where I could hardly breathe and I had to go outside for some fresh air. She said that she would buy a different one if that one bothered me, but that really didn’t interest me. In many ways, she reminded me of my ex-wife. Needless to say she was angry when I said I would not take the room, and later she even emailed me telling me how bad I was for leading her on.

Says 93 – Another sleepless night and clearing the air

2012 Sept 19 Kyle was up until 2:00 am last night, or that’s the last time I looked at my clock to see what time it was. At one point, I tried to drown out the sound of his TV and vocals by playing my CD player, but it didn’t do much good.

I woke up at 8:00 am tired and pissed off. I started banging doors, dropping my weights on the floor and opening and slamming my dresser drawers so as to wake up the asshole. At around 10:45 am I thought that maybe he had gone out last night, that he wasn’t in his room, and that all my banging was for nothing. At 11:30 I saw him go to the bathroom and when he returned to his room, I stopped him and we had a little chat. During our conversation it turns out that the reason he slams his door is because it won’t close otherwise. I looked at it and found the screws for the top hinge were loose. I got a screwdriver and tried to tighten them, but they were just turning as if stripped. I told him to report it to the owners and have them fix it. I then showed him that if he lifted the door handle as he was closing the door, that it wouldn’t jam at the top and need to be slammed to close.

I asked him why he didn’t say that when I first commented on his door slamming and he said that he had other things on his mind. It was a good chat and cleared the air somewhat. I told him I was leaving at the end of the month and he mentioned that he was also looking for another place.

Says 82 – Getting organized – Generation Gap

2012 Sept 02 Sunday, I never bought any food on Saturday as I hadn’t been able to talk to Nancy or Frank as to where I could put my stuff in the refrigerator, as well as where I was going to store my non perishable food stuff. I talked to Nancy this morning after they got up around noon and she gave me some cupboard and fridge space, enough to keep my basics. Other foodstuff and some of my utensils I can keep in a cupboard in my room.

2012 Sept 07 Friday It’s kind of weird as the two young people that also room here usually eat when and what Frank and Nancy eat. No one eats breakfast and supper isn’t until 8:30 – 9:00 at night. It’s like a communal kitchen, but where it’s Nancy (depending on what shift she works) or Frank that does the cooking, and Frank doesn’t get home until after 8:30pm, and the young ones just wait until supper is ready. The young guy make spaghetti for himself the other day, but he didn’t just make one of two servings, he used the whole package, enough for 10 people, and then he stuffed the pot in the fridge as leftover’s. He then eats at it during the day for days, trying to get rid of it as no one else wants it. He told me I could help myself, but I already had my spaghetti feed a day before he made his, so I wasn’t interested.

I’ve also noticed that the two young people seem lost. They both have jobs, but they are in their own little world that doesn’t include the basics of living and caring for themselves. It’s just like they are large toddlers. They leave their bedroom door open at times and I can’t help but notice how littered and messy the rooms are. When they use the bathroom, whatever falls on the counter or floor, stays there, same goes for the kitchen and even the patio. Maybe it’s just the three generation gap at work, but there seems to be this hopelessness or indifference that is reflected, not only by their rooms, but in their general attitude. They look clean and as normal as present teens can be when they go out, as that is the public perception that they want to portray, but that is not what they are really like. The young guy had his girlfriend (mother figure) over the other day and she cleaned up his room, but a few hours after she left, he had things on the floor again.

The other part of the generation gap is with Frank and Nancy as they are in their later 40’s and are consumed with their jobs, Nancy working a rotating three shift schedule, mornings, afternoons and nights, while Frank works 8 am to 8 pm, 7 days a week. Both of them have very little time for each other, or to do things around the house, other than prepare meals and clean up after the toddlers. Nancy also tries to be this cool mother figure to them, cleaning up after them (once a week) and driving them to the store to get beer, cigarettes, or maybe some food. I know the young ones are also smoking weed, but they’re not toking up in the house or yard. They are what they are, and I just do my own thing.

I don’t know what these young kids would do if no one cleaned up after them or prepared their meals and did their laundry. They are like a hoarder or litterbug that would eventually be living in and eating their own excrement. I’m not saying that one needs to be a clean freak, BUT!….

Ahhh! I just got it… It’s all about choice. People are going to be toddlers and litterbugs as long as there are people that are willing to mother them, to pick up after them and take care of them. It’s all about power and control and of course, denial, free Will and choice.

Nancy hooked up my internet, (25 character password). Apparently, the TV and movies are also available via the computer but that hasn’t been activated as yet. I don’t rally miss TV….

Says 81 – Moved to new room and city

2012 Aug 31 Friday I had called my new room rental in Brantford a couple of days ago and this afternoon at 3:00 pm I got the phone call saying that I can move in today. I had already packed up most of my stuff by early morning as it was going to be a hot day, +32C and I’m glad I did. I planned that if I didn’t get the call that I could move in today, that I was prepared to stay the night and then move out early in the morning as I had only a few things to pack.

After I got the call, I went downstairs and told the landlord that I was leaving, I waited around until his wife went to the bank to get some money to give me back my $100.00 deposit. After I got it, I stopped in at the fish and chip shop where I used to work and got an order of fish and chips for supper, before heading out to my new digs.

I arrived around 5:30pm and the place was busy. Nancy and Frank’s son and daughter-in-law were visiting them for the weekend, along with their two yappy min-pins (dogs). There was also a young man and woman that I found out were also tenants. I had met the woman before, but I didn’t know about the guy, so that makes three of us renting rooms, still better than five. My new room is about 12’x 18’ and roughly the same area as the last one that was about 15’x15’. It’s also nice that I don’t have to deal with the 19 stairs

By 6:30 I was pretty much settled in and had some bags unpacked. I was later invited to join Frank and Nancy and the others on the patio where we chatted for a while.

2012 Sept 01 When I knew I was going to be moving, I had let my food run out, especially any perishable and frozen food. So on Saturday morning, I got dressed and went out to Tim Horton’s for breakfast. Later I had a short drive around this end of Brantford just looking at what stores and services are available.