Says 111 – The same issues are resurfacing

2012 Nov. 05 Monday Last night I went downstairs to make supper and I smelt hash/marijuana. I decided to make a quick supper of coleslaw and raw veggies and a dip and took it upstairs to my room to eat it there. I kept my door closed so that it didn’t get any worse but I had a headache for several hours. When I was downstairs, I also noticed that the dirty dishes from last night were still in the sink and on the counter. Not only that, but the toothbrushes and toothpaste are back on the window sill and behind the kitchen sink. As I was eating my supper, I decided to take my old toothbrush and put it on the kitchen window sill along with the others. I have no intention of using it but I hope it will make him think.

This reminds me of my roommates when I was going to DeVry Tech and when I was working before I got married. At that time, all that my roommates seemed to think and care about was getting drunk, drugs, sex, cars and partying. It’s like nothing else in the world mattered except feeling good and doing what gave them physical pleasure and made them happy, even if it was short lived, they just repeated the cycle. They also liked to present the illusion that they were capable of more thought and physical action, but that’s just how twisted their reality was and how they saw themselves as being something they are not. It’s like their mind is in a fog and they can’t seem to see through it, or rise above it by stopping the substance and physical habits that are creating the fog. The only things they can see are what is in front of their nose, and even then, they only see what they want to see.

Hummmmm. As this issue is reoccurring, it means that this is not the real issue. So what is it that I am not seeing? Humm? That I’m different, that I don’t feel like running with the crowd and doing the things that they are doing. Is that why I never had any real male friends and never had that so called, “male bonding experience?” I believe that female bonding is similar to male bonding, where girls and women need to do similar things that men do, just in a feminine way. It’s like a herd and pack mentality where one just follows and mimics the actions of the leader of the pack. Is this like the dance issue, where I was afraid to be me and that I had to be like the others. YES! I think/feel that is it. It’s just another version of the same program.

Says 91 – New understanding of the phrase “Mother-fucker”

2012 Sept 18 As I was going into the kitchen to make my breakfast, I met Kyle as he was just leaving. He didn’t say a word as he made his way past me and down the stairs and out to the garage with his coffee. I went to the counter and saw spilled coffee grounds, sugar and water on the counter. He made a mess but either doesn’t have the mentally ability or the desire to clean up after himself. It’s like he expects his mother to look after him.

I was thinking of Kyle and just got a new understanding of the phrase “Mother Fucker.” It’s what most guys want in the way of a woman in their life. They want a woman that will replace their mother, one that will clean and pick up after them, make their meals, wash their clothes, care for them, etc, and as a bonus, one that they can have sex with anytime they want and anyway they want. But when this mother girlfriend is too tired from doing her stuff and looking after him to have sex, he will find another woman just to have sex with, and one that doesn’t play the part of his mother as all he want from her is sex. So now he has the best of both worlds, a girlfriend that is a mother figure to look after him and another fuck buddy that just wants to party and have a good time. “Mother – Fucker!”

Charlie Harper in the TV series, “Two and a half men” is a classic example of this male mental attitude towards woman, where he has a hired housekeeper “Berta” that looks after him, while he sleeps around with other women. Except that in the TV series, Charlie isn’t having a sexual relationship with Berta..