Category Archives: Imprint-programs-beliefs

Says 289 – Facing your shadows (fears)

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Another way to say it is that you are giving more energy to “denying” your fears, than in facing and healing them… So the reflection (reality) you create and experience are your denials and NOT your desires. Once you have truly faced and healed your fears (shadows) at the causal level, your outer reality also changes, and what was a fear and issue, no longer is.

Saying that is easy, doing it is quite another thing as it’s something that you have NEVER done before, or you wouldn’t be having the outer reflections you do. Ending your denial of a particular fear or issue also allows you to feel what unconditional love really feels like, and not what you presently believe it is based on some religious rhetoric.

Says 288 – Statism (Government) just another form of Religion

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Religion and politics (government) are the two major players that control your life through the social illusion that they have the “authority” to make rules, laws, and conditions that “others” must follow. They both control your physical life, mentally, emotionally and physically. The government controls your physical activities through laws, rules, taxes, etc., while religion has rules and conditions that you must adhere to ensure that when you physically die, that you will have a happy afterlife.

You are lead to believe that you must accept their “authority” over you, to unquestionably follow their instructions and have faith that “they” know what is good for you. If you don’t follow your various governments’ rules, conditions and orders, you will be harassed, intimated, incarcerated or even put to death. If you don’t follow your religions voice of “authority,” they would have you believe that your Soul and Spirit will be dammed in the afterlife.

I was thinking that the main issue in healing that Empaths have in empowering themselves is their religious beliefs. I was going to say that the second thing is seeing and knowing what denial is, but as I thought that, I knew it also related to their religious beliefs that had to do with love and what a loving person is. As long as you belief that denial (of self expression) is love, you are, as the saying goes, “Screwed, glued and tattooed.” Even if you are an atheist or agnostic, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have any religious beliefs, it’s just that your beliefs are opposed to organized religion. You were raised in a society where people had religious beliefs, customs and traditions, and your parents, and their parents and so on. All were imprinted and programmed with beliefs of what is loving or not, moral standards, and codes of behavior, etc.

The second thing that controls you is the various forms of government and their agencies. If you are not a so-called “conspiracy theorist,” then you aren’t even aware of the blatant social denials that are in politics and government, military, media, food, medical, big business, etc., etc. If you can’t see the obvious lies, denials, and deception going on in your outer reality, it’s even harder to begin to see your own lies and denials, and how you are deceiving yourself. It’s far easier to pick up on what others are, or are not saying or doing, than it is with yourself. It’s sad to think that over 95% of the population is so brainwashed and in denial that they can’t see the obvious and blatant lies and denials in their outer reality (religion and politics) that is controlling them. The irony is that in ending ones denials, one begins to break away from both these illusions that control us, and that we call natural, a way of life, and the way things are.

Says 284 – Labels – Social and Personal

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This meme is floating around the internet and it is hogwash, NOT that it isn’t a truth, but that it’s NOT a social truth, far from it. People are socially imprinted and programmed to label (judge) people, places and things. They give other people status and authority and then kowtow or worship them. The pope, Dalai Lama, priest, minister, the Queen, president, a politician, a movie star, singer, sports player, policeman, soldier, fireman, guard, CEO, teacher, manager, supervisor, etc, etc. These are all people that we put ahead of ourselves, that we think and say have more worth or value.

But wait –  there is more! What about the labels you put on yourself. The irony is that in our brain-washed “altered” EGO state of Being, we try to be like, or at least, associate and identify ourselves with the idols we worship. I AM a Christian, I AM a Catholic, I AM a Anglican, I AM a democrat, I AM a Jennifer Lopez fan, I AM a Boston Celtics fan, I AM a patriot and support our troops, I AM Pro life, and the list goes on an on. All these I AM labels separates people and creates inner conflict, as always there will be people better or more important than you. The irony is that religion and even New Agers, put on this false bravado and rhetoric that we are all the same and equal., which is a part-truth, but what is not said, what is denied and already imprinted and programmed into our Minds is that some are more equal than others.

And now, we get to the interesting part. Because you identify yourself with another person that you think is above you; as soon as anyone says anything that appears to attack what you idolize and worship, your “altered” Ego thinks it’s a personal attack and gets it’s Belief Systems (BS) brain cells firing at anything it sees as a threat.

BUT THERE IS MORE….. Now on a more personal level, all this came about with my activation on my previous post ..  and removing the labels I had placed on others and myself, is part and parcel of working on healing my shame issues

Says 280 – Activated into Shame Issues

Says 282 – More people seem to have a problem with me.

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A couple of days ago, I posted a comment on a Facebook Empath group I’m in, and another member started posting (copy and paste) dogma from books that he had read regarding on clearing your energy field. The material he was sharing was old school material that has been around for at least 30 years, and either doesn’t work, or is a temporary quick fix as I have been there done that, tried them. He argued that since he was a “trained professional” with “credentials” he knew what he was talking about. I challenged him, stating that it was simply book knowledge and that if he had ever tried to apply the methods he was presenting, like, smudging, crystals, salt, bubble of protection, mantras, etc. he would know that they don’t offer a permanent solution. I explained that I had tried those methods years ago, and that what I’m sharing is what I have personally experienced and does work, permanently, and in any situation.

My last comment was that this discussion was good in that it showed others the difference between rhetorical book knowledge with no personal application or experience, verses information based on personal experience.

Well the next morning, I posted another picture and comment, and waited for admin approval. By 6pm, it still hadn’t appeared on the site. What I also noticed was that neither were there any comments on the previous threads I had posted on. I got the feeling that I’ve been blocked on interacting, as all that I see are posts that are days old. I never received a PM from the Admin stating there was a problem with the content of my posts.

It appears that any conflicting or opposing ideas disturbs the status quo and is a no-no. It’s too bad as while there were a few people that were clueing in to what I was sharing, the “Administration” obviously didn’t like it. It’s not really any different than a few years ago, except that now, a few more people were conscious to what I was saying and were actually interacting. Maybe I’m being paranoid and there’s something wrong with Facebook or their page.

On Saturday, I chatted with a person still in the group, and they said everything was fine and normal, so that means I’m history.

Says 280 – Activated into Shame Issues

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The other day I met a woman on Facebook that was in a group I was in. She liked my posts and comments and contacted me, and we chatted for over two hours. She’s an attractive 45 year old widow, with three grown children. She lives in the US; is an artist, musician, dancer, and was a child actor. She owns her own home and her father runs a new age church and her mother has her business.

We got talking about relationships and she made a comment that age doesn’t matter, and with  the other comments and questions, and I got the feeling that she was interested in me. As we chatted, I noticed and felt shame coming up for me. Feeling that I wasn’t good enough, not talented, not popular, not good looking, no money, no home, too old and the list goes on and on.

These shame feelings and judgments that I was experiencing now were similar to the shame I had in my childhood. On top of that, I also remembered being shamed by my mother if a girl showed interest in me. I took her shame comments as having a girlfriend was a bad thing and that I was wrong and bad. This was also associated with my religious beliefs at the time that you had to honor your father and mother and they knew what was good for you.

The next day, I spoke with her again and thanked her for activating me into my shame and childhood memories, and that I was working on it.  We chatted off and on, but we never got into any lengthy discussion.

Says 279 – More pieces of the Puzzle

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My view of reality is changing.  A few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend who does work at a hospice, and a few things she said made me question my beliefs. I’ve believed that our “Spirit” is our Mind, that originates our conscious thoughts, ideas, words, etc.. BUT… after our conversation, I felt something was “off” with that concept. That, together with working on healing the other aspects of my Being, my Body, Will (Soul) and Heart, made me think that there is more.

Another thing that has been a recent topic has been Ego that is associated with the Mind and also false Ego. So…. I’m trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together and an idea that came up is that while our Mind is connected to our Spirit, it is NOT our entire Spirit, as that is where our “Higher Self” comes in. So… What if a portion of our Higher Self manifests itself in the physical and calls itself Spirit “Mind” or as some might say EGO. BUT… when our Spirit re-incarnated, it gradually forgot who it was and its prime purpose and came to be what I call our “altered Ego,” altered by imprints, programs and beliefs and judgments. Part of our process now is to experience and re-cover our Essence that we lost in past lives, to become whole again. EGO is not bad, as some make it out to be, as it defines us as who we really are.. it’s only our “altered Ego” that does crazy shit.
Now the other parts of our Being, our Soul, (intuition, feelings and emotions) Heart and Body also have their own consciousness and “try” to communicate with the Mind that is basically the “Controller” of our physical reality. But, besides these voices, we also have other incarnate and dis-incarnate voices vying for our attention, including our HIGHER SELF.

OK…Another thing is that for a long time, I’ve had this thought/feeling that I’m here to manifest, or bring down my entire Spiritual Essence into the Earth plane, in this physical body, in the hear and now. To Spiritilize my physical Body. This however, requires unconditional love and a total connection between my Mind (Ego) and the rest of my Being and my “higher self” …

Says – 278 – The Unseen Role of Denial

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Whenever I go shopping and am cashing out, I hear the same robotic message from the cashier as they greet the customers in front of me.

“Hi, How are you?”
The customer smiles and relies, “Fine, and you/”
The cashier says, “Fine. Nice day isn’t it” – or something to that effect.

This is how people set themselves up to carry on being in denial of how they really feel.. Sure, it’s a socially acceptable custom and tradition, but that doesn’t mean it is right, real, or loving. This is part and parcel of the unseen role of denial that literally sucks the life out of us.

The FINE picture is another aspect of the unseen role of denial, and how we unconsciously live our lives as a lie.

Says 275 – Confusion between Mind and Spirit

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I continued reading my RUOW book, and when I turned the page, there was another paragraph that stood out to me.  RUOW  Book 1 – pg 112  

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I  also want everyone that is wanting to stay on Earth to agree to end personal denial and accept the self completely.

You need to start with yourself and make an unconditional acceptance of how it really feels to be you. Instead of feeling you must heal everything immediately, you need not. You must however, have a completely committed intent to end denial and heal all the separations of consciousness that this created. This includes:Pain of experiences that the Body holds. Pain of emotions that the Will holds. Loss of Love that Heart holds. Misunderstandings and limitations that the Mind holds disconnection from the Spirit that originated all of it.

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What really caught my attention and got me thinking was this sentence.
<> Misunderstandings and limitations that the Mind holds disconnection from the Spirit that originated all of it. <>

I had associated Mind as Spirit, but I’m now thinking/feeling it in a whole new way. That Mind is our Ego or rather Altered Ego, altered by our imprints, programs and beliefs and also by “misunderstandings,” “limitations,” and judgments. That maybe the “Spirit” that is referred to, is really our Higher Self that is trying to guide and heal our Mind (and the rest of our Being.)

We associate our mind/Spirit as our I AM being, but it’s really just an aspect of our Higher Self made manifest in the physical world.  While our Higher Self KNOWS things, (past, present and future)… our mind is ignorant, as part of the process of understanding and healing is to unravel the puzzle of love and life, and not have another do it for us. To do that we need to know all the aspects of denial that have created our present situation

When we originally manifested in the physical, we were not as disconnected from our Higher Self as we are now, and it’s our denials that have created this fragmentation that now needs to be healed in order to recover lost Essence and the lost parts of our Being. This is getting deep, but I know there is a lot more to it.

 

Says 269 – Being Positive is Really Negative

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Denying anything that is negative and undesirable is not how you go about solving a problem. – Shenreed

I’m posting this as I’m tired of the – “Positive Attitude” BS that has been going on for as long as I can remember. It’s the same BS that was around when I was a child and is still being regurgitated. Whether it’s religious people or New Age Spiritual people; the problem with having a positive attitude is that it is based on religious imprints, programs and beliefs, as well as social customs and traditions. Even if you don’t consider yourself religious, you have unknowingly been imprinted and programmed with religious views through social dogma, morals, scruples, and ethics that contain the unseen role of denial. The irony is that the people that say they are being POSITIVE are in fact, the ones that are being NEGATIVE and unloving, because of their hidden denials. If you challenge and question their Belief System (BS) then you are not accepted as one of “them” and are considered negative, wrong, and a naysayer.

For the person saying this, it’s really, “Do as I say and make me happy.” – Shenreed

Some of the most popular so-called positive clichés used to justify and support their negative and unloving words and actions are:

  • Be positive and not negative.
  • Look at the bigger picture.
  • We all need to make sacrifices.
  • Make the best of a bad situation.
  • The best of two evils
  • Everyone makes mistakes.
  • They are not perfect.
  • They are only human.
  • Look on the bright side.
  • They are only “doing their job.”
  • Forgive and forget.
  • You are not to judge others.
  • You have to give love to get love.
  • If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
  • And the list goes on and on.

All religions have the same basic Golden Rule of… “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” This is just another way of saying it. – Shenreed

Being so-called “positive is what is wrong with society today. This is the same social mentality that lets presidents, governments, military, police, religion, corporations, etc., get away with the shit they do. The Media, including social media, is full of clichés and excuses used to justify any wrong doings by these groups, and any voice against their unlovingness is considered negative and wrong. The outer reality is but a reflection of the inner reality, so when society (social consciousness) denies any so-called negative feelings and emotions, they will be reflected and experienced in their outer reality. In other words, their denials will come back and bite them in the ass. Why do you think the people and groups I previously mentioned are getting more blatant and outrageous in the shit they are doing and getting away with it. Social consciousness is a collective of individual consciousness, and until people begin to take personal responsibility for all of their Being and end their denials, their reality (life and freedom) will become more and more compressed and limited.

Says 267 – Refusal to break habits

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I find it interesting that even though Mike died of lung disease caused by his heavy smoking, there are four other men in my building that are still at it. I asked Danny why he doesn’t quit his two pack a day habit and he just shrugs it off. A woman that is a friend of Danny’s told me that he has to stop sometimes when he is walking up the slight hill from Tim Horton’s where he gets his coffee. That should be a wakeup call for him, but apparently not. I spoke to the other guys and they were basically in the same frame of mind. One guy was smoking the E-cigarettes  for a while, but he started coughing so he quit them and went back to tobacco cigarettes. The other guys smoke about the same, from one and an half to two and a half packs per day.

Not only is it a health issue, but the cost as well. Cigarettes in Ontario cost about $12.00/pack of 20, so that is $24.00/day and that works out to $24 x 7= $168/week or $720.00/month. That is more than he pays for rent. Oh Well, it’s their life and their choice.

Says 266 – Mind (Spirit) the Unloving Master

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Taken from my Journal – April 16 Monday 9:30 am

Your Mind (Spirit) may have a thought or idea, but there is no real desire or emotion to experience it. This is because the Mind instantly brings up old imprints, programs, and beliefs that say that what was suggested is not appropriate for any number of reasons. In the same breath, false Will (Soul) that is aligned with Minds judgments has no desire to experience it, as unresolved negative emotions come up to validate the Minds judgments. Heart goes along with the Minds assessment and so there is no action, no movement of the original thought or idea that was squashed by old imprints, programs and beliefs that are in reversal to the new thought or idea.  The result is that the same old pattern is repeated as one continues on their not-so-merry-go-round; wondering why things happen as they do and hoping that things will change.

So! How does this apply to the Body? Old imprints, programs, and beliefs that the Mind has, have forced the Body (through habits) to become a slave to the Minds judgments. These are deeply ingrained in not only the Mind, but also the Will, Heart and Body. These are mostly social beliefs, that of being told what to do or not to do, what is right and wrong, good or bad, acceptable or not acceptable.  These beliefs and judgments then form the habits for the Body, which has basically been forced to override its own needs and desires and be a slave to the Minds programming.

So then, to break this old programming, I need to first, get my Mind to recognize what it is doing, and then for it to open to hear what it is that the Body wants and needs.  Hummm… What the Body wants and needs in order to heal itself is the prime objective. But, the trick here is to differentiate between what the Body really wants and needs, and what the Mind thinks the Body wants and needs based on its old habits and quick fix, feel good sensations that give the Mind the false notion that what pleases the Mind also pleases the Body. It’s just like when I was getting my Mind to listen and feel what my Will (Soul) Intuition was wanting to express, so too I need to listen to my Body to not only hear, but also feel and allow it to express what it wants and needs to. As long as my Mind (Spirit) thinks it’s right and has the answer to what my Soul, Heart and Body desire and need, it is the unloving master that is unwittingly not only forcing the other parts of our Being to die, by forcing it’s denials on them, but also itself, as there is no separation.  (9:50 am)

Says 259 – Symbolic Dream.

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March 28 2:20 am –  I had a distributing dream. I saw a man, (I think it was me) with no legs, swimming and coated in this tar like substance. I say no legs as I never saw them, just his upper torso covered in this slime. He was swimming in a large tank, the size of a R/R car or small rectangular pool, and then would dive under and come up in another one. There were three tanks involved and he would go from one to another. I don’t know what he was looking for or why he was in the tanks and covered in all this gooey slime.

It reminded me of a dream I had years ago when I saw a man with just a head and shoulders and one arm, dragging itself along. Later I recognized that it was me and what I was doing to my body in trying to get the Heart Centre up and running. At the time, my Mind was controlling my body and was not interested in its health. The thing that keeps coming to mind is that I still have old imprints, programs and beliefs attached to me, which is the slime. I’m also locked into (3 tanks) issues that I keep repeating. OK, So what are they?

Home, Car and Money.

2:50 am – House – Vehicle – Money
Are these the three issues (tanks) that I’m locked into and repeating?

House represents Safety – Vehicle represents Freedom – Money represents Power

And yes, these have old imprints, programs and beliefs as I feel I NEED them to live.

WOW! Now there is a statement.

I’m depending on the outside reality, or rather the illusion that I think is real for my life. To support me; my existence, my physical existence.

So what am I missing?

Hummm… Attachments. Just like the slime is attached to me, I’m attached to the slime (imprints, programs and beliefs)

So how can I release them as I have fear of losing anyone one of them as then, what will I do?

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I just flashed to the Epigraph in my first book and a poem I channeled back in 2002.

Ignorance.

  • You fear what you do not know.
  • You protect what needs no protection
  • You love what you fear,
  • And you fear what you love
  • And do not know the difference.
  • Some say ignorance is bliss
  • Some say ignorance is hell.

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Hummm….  Also the “Seek the doorway to eternal life” message keeps popping up in my mind.

I am thinking of the Heart Centre and losing my home and money, and knowing my vehicle was on the way out. And then living with Dave and Irene. Since then, I’ve lived on the edge of being homeless and it wasn’t until I started receiving my pension and then moving into my present apartment just over 4 years ago that things got comfortable. Humm… Keyword… COMFORTABLE.

3:10 am  OK, another thought. Am I on the wrong track or train of thought? Something “feels” off.

Says 257 – Simple logic…

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I like this. While the logic applies to politics and government, it also applies to religion and a host of other BS (Belief Systems) that we have that have no valid foundation. Removing the BS doesn’t create a hole or vacuum that must be filled with another BS..it simply returns one to their natural state of Being..

Says 252 – Mind as MASTER… NOT!

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This post is in reference to what I am becoming aware of as I’m becoming more physically active. My mind finds it confusing when my Body disagrees with what the Mind thinks it should do physically, but I am learning to trust my Body that it knows what it needs and how it needs any physical activity. Some days my Body wants both exercise and the walk, and other days it’s either or, and some days, like today, it’s neither, a day of rest.

Our physical Body (matter) is really a form of energy, of frequency and vibration that manifests as our dense physical Body with which we experience our reality.  While the body can heal itself, it needs the Mind (Spirit) to help it, to have the intent to help the body heal itself, and to do what it needs to do to fulfill that desire.  Like the Will (Soul) the Body is at the mercy of the Mind (Spirit) which can override any information it receives and controls both these aspects of its Being.  It’s the Mind that sets in motion what the Will and Body can do and express. Yes, there are automatic functions that the Body does without apparent direction from the Mind, but in reality, the Mind is also in control of these on a sub-conscious level.

If the Mind wants the Body to do something against its will, the Body is forced to OBEY the Mind until such point that the Body is unable to physically do what the Mind demands and is either exhausted, injured, sick, or even at the point of dying. The Mind has been programmed, or it has programmed itself to be MASTER of its Will (Soul) and Body and so it finds it confusing and difficult to think, to reason, to fathom and consider that what it believes to be the truth and loving – isn’t. And if it accepts  that it isn’t, then how does it change its programming, imprints and beliefs? It’s not good enough to simply recite some positive affirmations as the Mind needs to have the intent to be aware of when it is overpowering the Body’s information, and then it needs to choose to listen and accept what the Body is telling it what it wants and can do. In other words, it needs to be self aware that it is running on old imprints, programs and beliefs, and then choose to experience a different reality before it can really begin to let the old programming go, and to allow the Body to begin its healing process.

Says 250 – Bi-polar or Narcissist

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It’s interesting as after the recent realizations and looking back on my life, I seriously doubt that my ex-wife was what the medical establishment classified as bi-polar disorder,  whose classic definition is a series of “emotional” ups and downs, as when they get what they want, they’re happy and when they don’t, they’re sad.

I feel that we both suffered from childhood abuse or neglect, but we learned opposite techniques to try to solve our issues. She, being an only child, she was spoiled (imprinted and programmed) to act out so that she could get the superficial quick fix attention she desired to make her happy. My imprint and program was to do what I could to make others happy, as when they were happy, I was happy in that they weren’t attacking and blaming me.  I now feel she is more of a Narcissist or having what they now LABEL as having NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Saying that doesn’t mean that I approve or agree with the so-called medical establishment and their diagnosis and clinical solution for a person suffering with any of their labels.
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A person with NDP is narcissistic personality disorder has the following characteristic traits:

  • Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerating your achievements and talents
  • Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
  • Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
  • Requiring constant admiration
  • Having a sense of entitlement
  • Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
  • Taking advantage of others to get what you want
  • Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • Being envious of others and believing others envy you
  • Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

Sure, everyone has their days when they feel fine, and others days that are not so good, and still others that are just bad, but that doesn’t mean we are helpless to overcome these experiences, maybe not in the moment, but when we are ready, and that may take years. Many look for a quick fix with drugs (including prescription) alcohol, smoking, sex, exercise, work, partying, food, hobbies, pets, music, reading, TV, shopping, cleaning, etc., etc.  It took me years to finally not only get to the root cause of some of my emotional issues and problems, but also learn how to heal them.

Says 249 – Denials an attachments ended – game over

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I’m not going to go into all the details that played themselves out over the past few months suffice to say that they all came to a head within three days.  What became clear was that she was not as helpless as she pretended to be, and that a lot of her lies, secrets, avoidance, omissions and denials were exposed for what they were.  She was not only playing me, but my son and daughter, her friends and even acquaintances on the internet.  She was acting out the “oh poor me” and using whoever and whatever she could to get attention, even if it was negative, it was still attention. She is a self-centered self-absorbed Narcissist and an energy vampire. Her house of cards is crumbling and her reality is quickly changing. As I now see it, she has two choices;

  • take responsibly for her thoughts and actions and make the positive changes or,
  • Remain the narcissist and nothing changes.

It will be interesting to see what develops in the coming months now that her little game has blown up in her face.

Attachments that are OBVIOUS are easy to spot and release, but it’s the little issues that you don’t see that still form the attachment. In uncovering my attachments and ending my denials, I realized that as we were still on a friendly basis and since she is what is considered bi-polar, and has other illnesses, (judgments and attachments) and so I silently (in denial) put up with her blatant lies and denials, saying that is just the way she is, and instead, focused on trying to help her and find the good in her.

Not challenging her blatant denial, lies, omission and avoidance, as in not wanting to upset her, I was in denial and unconsciously allowed her to use those against me. The sick “twist” in all this is that at times she really needed help, but other times it was just a game and she was acting the “oh poor me” to get whatever power she could by knowing she was controlling the another being. The more I allowed, the more she used them against me in the form of getting me to do things for her that affected my time, energy and money, to the point that this past weekend, I saw exactly what she was doing and what I was allowing her to do, via the unseen role of denial, judgments and attachments. When I called her out on her denials and lies, and stated that I was finished helping her and empowering her “oh poor me” reality, our attachments were broken and I was free, while she was left to deal with her denials in your own way and to take, or not take, responsibility for her well being.

The unseen role of denial that I didn’t see with my ex-wife’s scenario was that in my Spirit (mind) and the Spirit polarity aspect of my Heart, that defines love by words and deeds and not by how it feels, thought that I was being kind, caring, sharing, considerate, compassionate, etc., etc., for those that I judged to be less fortunate.  That “less fortunate” judgment (that I now release) has an unloving aspect to it that of a false sense of pride, in that it silently and smugly deems me to be superior or better than, or in a better position than another. The opposite side of my outer judgments says that if I have judgments of being better than others, I must also have the judgment on self that I’m not as fortunate as good as some other people.

So the realization was that this doesn’t just apply to my ex-wife, but to everyone that I’m in contact with. The subtle judgments, the false pride, the trying to be nice, even to an asshole because he/she is drunk or on drugs or whatever, are all things that I need to release to really empower myself on all levels. How this played out in my outer reality was that my ex-wife was ACTING like she needed help and asking for it, either directly or indirectly. These weren’t an “in the moment” type situations or experiences of helping another that you could see and feel were in need of help, but on an attachment and judgment level based on past experiences and old imprints, programs and beliefs of what the person appeared to be going through and needing help with.

While this may seem like it’s not a big deal, I assure you it is, as guilt and shame are constantly at me, trying to get me to reverse my position, to be responsible and be the “nice” guy again.  Like I said, this isn’t just about my ex-wife, but how I respond to all that I come in contact with. It’s a new way of seeing that just because someone looks like they are the victim and in need of help, doesn’t mean that they are. They just play the “Oh poor me” game from another angle and don’t be fooled, it is effective. Besides the Oh poor me, the other major game players in the energy sucking power game are the intimidator, the interrogator, and the aloft.  Some are quite good at using two or more power plays to get what they want and will flip back and forth at easy. Recognizing them is the first step at ending their control over you. . It’s been a while since I read it, but I think these are outlined in the book, “Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield.

Says 248 – Understanding – “You don’t understand.”

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While we were married for 20 years, and divorced now for almost 27 years, I’ve managed to remain on friendly terms with my ex-wife. While I’ve been aware of her blatant lies and denials, I didn’t realize that I had unconsciously programmed myself and made exceptions for her behavior. In doing so, I had also given her power and control over me.  Interestingly enough, these programs were not made after our divorce, but during our marriage. Since we weren’t in each others lives for years, I thought nothing of it, as most of my dealings with her were more of a handyman nature, doing things I knew she couldn’t do around her house or apartment. That was until recently, with her health declining, her calls for help were more personal in nature.

During our marriage, she had been diagnosed with postpartum depression and then later as being bi-polar. Not understanding the causes and naively believing medical doctors, I molded my life around trying to make her happy and to understand what was going on with her different moods. One of her favorite lines was, “You don’t understand.” I didn’t realize it until now, but it’s a phrase to make me doubt what I was seeing, hearing and feeling, and to fall for the story she was giving me.  Her next favorite line was, “You don’t care,” which is an invitation for guilt and shame to attack me.

Recently I was feeling more and more under pressure and I noticed that she was a master at manipulating and twisting facts to get what she wanted. Giving me the, “oh poor me” speech, whether it was about her bi-polar condition, meds, back, shoulder or arm pain, diabetes, weight, money issues, living conditions or whatever she found to bitch about that was not to her liking.  If I asked questions or contradicted her, all I got back was, “You don’t understand, you never understood.” I realized that she was not taking responsibility for her well being and her personal experiences, but expected other to either make them right, to help her in her time of need.

What part of my issues were that allowed me to get sucked into this “game” was that even though she had all these issues, I was still the eternal optimist, full of false hope, looking for the best in people and hoping that they will change.  I was also programmed to deny my true expression in favor of making another happy.  I thought I had dealt with this a few years back during my healing experiences, but this was on a new level.

Says 247 – A life based on lies and denials

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A life based on lies, omission, avoidance and denial is really very fragile, like a pyramid build of a deck of playing cards.  All it takes is for the bottom foundation on which the rest is balanced to be removed and the whole thing comes tumbling down. When the truth is revealed there is nothing to support the rest, and they too fall.

Until the truth is finally recognized and revealed, not by the person doing the lying and denying, but the one that is the unwitting object of the deceit.  While blatant and obvious denials can be spotted in others, it’s the unseen role that denial plays in the self that is the key issue. To empower yourself, you need to not only see the denial in others, but also your part in it.  In the next few posts, I’ll be sharing a person experience that I had the past weekend.

Says 244 – Quickening vs awakening

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I feel that people have a misguided sense, or use of the word awakening… or maybe I just look at it a different way. I feel that what people are presently going through is what I call a “quickening,” an acceleration process in recognizing what is not life, or contributing to life. Denials are being exposed and the truth revealed, but that doesn’t mean that people are awaking to end their own denials and begin to live life, and not the illusion as has been the case.

People get caught up in the New Age mumbo jumbo and hype, and talk of awakening and ascension, not unlike a born again Christian that claims to be “saved,” and yet they are oblivious to what truth, love and life are. They are still disconnected from recognizing the Divine aspects of their Physical Being, or how denial of these are being reflected in their experiences and reality. Yes, their consciousness is stirring, but by no means are they wake as they claim to be.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from being fully awakened, but I have done a lot of personal inner work and healing on ending my denials that is being reflected in my outer reality. What I see people going through is what I went through years ago, “Been there done that.” While they are becoming aware of the issues in their OUTER reality, or the blatant lies and denials of others, they are still oblivious as to how to heal their personal inner issues by recognizing and choosing to end their denials. They wear masks to hide the truth and act the role that their altered ego ignorantly believes will make them happy.

Says 239 – Spirit (Mind) and False Pride

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239-proudDec. 05 – 6:10 pm – I just did a meditation and again it was Heart speaking to Spirit (Mind)  and how Mind and it’s altered ego controls the body to do what it wants out of false pride and vanity, and stubbornness to admit defeat and not be ashamed and ridiculed. I wish I had written this all down right after the meditation as now most of it is gone from my memory.  I know that Spirit also answered  and asked for help in letting of its imprints, programs and beliefs that control it, and in turn, control the Will, Body and Heart.  That it wants to know what it needs to see and feel in order to heal all aspects of self.

Body also spoke, telling Mind where it had pain. That there was pain in the head, neck, shoulder, back, lower back and legs and that Mind was to also look at the aneurysm, prostate and sex drive issues.  My Body was doing some major movement during these dialogues.

I also flashed back to the contest between the light and dark Wizards and how I was stuck in dense matter, in the Amethyst Crystal and that I couldn’t get myself out. At the time, I blamed Form (Body) but I realize it was my expectations and my false pride and denials that dis-empowered me and allowed me to become stuck, and where I lost a good part of my Essence.

239-make-us-proudAs I was typing and editing this for my Blog I realized that I was imprinted and programmed by my mother and father to “Make them proud.” With that program, I had to do everything in my power to not disappoint them, and to make them ashamed of me. That’s heartbreaking and I feel it in this moment.. What a burden to put on a child that is just starting school and doesn’t know how to speak the language, or even have a clue as to what school was about and what was expected of me. Everything negative that happened to me, I tried my best to deny and not show it, as I didn’t want to disappoint them. Self sacrifice and a false pride to maintain an image that I felt was acceptable. Sadly, that program carried on throughout my life affecting not only my feelings and emotions, but my body as well, as it too had to be strong, even when it wasn’t.  And that is what I’m now in the process of uncovering and healing..

Says 238 – Hyundai Santa Fe and Physical Body

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238-mind-circuits2016 Dec.03 – Today is the second anniversary since my car accident.  I just realized that for the past year, ever since I had the unexpected heater and electrical issues with my Hyundai Santa Fe, that my MIND has been looking at used vehicles on Kijiji. I just realized that my Mind is doing the same thing to my Body. Both have issues that are triggering the Minds (Spirit) imprints, programs and beliefs, that they are falling apart, dying,  and that it’s time to get rid of them rather than work on fixing the issues. It’s so subtle how things are inter-related, yet the Mind isn’t consciously aware of what it is doing and why.

As I was making my way to the bathroom, I realized that my Mind was thinking of yet another quick fix, of seeing another alternative medicine facilitator that he had heard was good at stretching and manipulating the neck. Again, the Mind is looking for outside help instead of seeing what his CAUSAL role is with the damage to the neck and to allow the Body to heal itself naturally.

Says 237 – Heart speaks to Spirit (Mind)

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237-heart-mindDec 01 3:35 pm – I began what I thought would be a meditation and suddenly became aware that my Heart was talking to my Spirit (Mind). I’m writing this after the fact as I didn’t want to disrupt the dialogue. Heart was asking it to stop running and busying itself with things that didn’t matter and to do what it says it wants to do, that of healing the Body and Will and that every time the real issues are brought up, it runs and distracts itself.

What Spirit is afraid of is DEATH and so a weak, ill and hurting Body is a sign that death is near and as Spirit has never experienced death as the Will (Soul) and Body have, it is terrified to even try to understand what is happening and why, and how its denials of the Will and Body have been causal and have created the illness, injury and aging and the slow decent toward death.

It’s time that Spirit honor its INTENT to heal the Will and Body and to see and feel what it has never seen and felt because it was afraid it would not survive if it did. But now, if it doesn’t, there is a good chance that it will just keep repeating the cycle of reincarnation.

237-every-issues-in-the-bodyHearts message was that it is also time to heal all aspects of our Being, Will, Body, Heart and Spirit that has also lost Essence, power, gifts and talents. That it is now time to accept all things that Spirit has feared, rejected, denied and cut off from its love and light. All lost parts of the Will are scattered and held in the Body. That where Spirit and Spirit Heart had judgments on the Will and Body, that there are either only partial connections there or none at all and only Heartlessness and indifference. There was no bonding and so there isn’t any love or life in these areas, only unlovingness and mistrust.

I can’t remember all that was said as I just went with the flow and was feeling and expressing any emotions that were coming up. But afterwards, I did feel a shift in energy, now how it plays out will need to be seen and felt.

Says 235 – Healing the body and expectation

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I was chatting with a friend yesterday and she said that I needed to go into a meditation and see and release the blockage, the kink on a nerve in my spinal column that is affecting my neck, shoulders, back and legs. I did a meditation in the afternoon and tried to access my neck and the pinched nerve but I feel I didn’t get there.

235-optic-cableLater that morning I meditated again and I didn’t feel I succeeded as I wanted to see what was wrong and heal it like I did for a woman years ago. That time, I experienced myself as a infinitesimally small speck of light. I saw the cells in her body that were as big as apartment buildings and I could easily move between them like a person would. I saw her spinal cord damaged and some fine strands were emitting bright coloured lights. The strands on the other side of the break had the same colour hue, but were dull and pale. It reminded me of a fiber optic cable. I knew I had to rejoin then, so just using my mind; I matched colours and rejoined then, and then looked for the reason they had been cut and found a bone spur that I simply dissolved. I then scanned her body and found a green blob like growth that I also dissolved. I scanned her body again and found nothing so I returned to my body. With that, I came out of my meditation. Hummmmm? Maybe my issues in healing my body are EXPECTATION.

235-guidesLater that afternoon I had my fourth craniosacral therapy session. This session was different that all the rest. While I had a few body twitches and spasms, they were mild compared to what I have been experiencing. And overall it was quite peaceful.

Before the session, I told my therapist of my friends advice and said that I would like to use this session to try and access and heal my damaged discs and nerves and she agreed. Early in the session I tried to meditate and do the healing as to how my Mind thought it should be done. I then realized that I did have EXPECTATION and so I stated out loud that I release my expectations on how healing should be and to just allow it to be. I took a deep breath and relaxed.

As I relaxed, I felt an energy move into the room and I told my therapist what I was picking up. A moment later I told her it was my guides and that this was all a lesson to see what doesn’t work. To get the Mind to try the things that it believes should work or that others have told the Mind works, and that everything it thinks and believes should work, is not working because it is wrong. I chuckled as I heard my guide say, It’s only taken you two years to figure that out.” I told my therapist that and she laughed too.

Says 233 – Craniosacral Therapy & denials of my Body

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233-man-energyI had my 3rd craniosacral therapy on Wednesday Nov 23, and before we started, I briefly told her about my experiences that I shared in Post Says 230.  I also showed her my three books (in print) and briefly described what each was about. I told her I was taking all these sessions seriously and that the results would be in the book following my next one which will be called, “The Empaths Dilemma.”

When she was working on me, I was running more energy than before, but also in a different way, similar, yet different.  Near the end, she had her hands on my head and I felt how I have purposely I denied my body. Keeping it under control so as to not be too good at anything physical, not run too fast, jump too far or high, catch a ball, throw a ball, ride a bike, play a game or sport. I had to limit myself so that others would not be upset and unhappy with me, or not allow me to play.

I flashed to the first day of school. Not being able to speak or understand English, I was in a living hell. I remembered my father telling me that I would be OK, if I listened and did as the other kids did, to learn to be like them. I realized that imprinted and programmed me and set me up to be a victim for most of my life.

I ended the session by formally releasing and giving back all the energy I took in from others and sent it back to whom it belonged to, or that it be moved to its right place. I also took back any energy others took from me or that I gave them, and also gave back any energy that I took from others or that they gave me. I asked that the polarity of all my energy that attacked and controlled my Body and Emotions be reversed, and that it realign with my true Essence.

I was a bit disoriented after the session and made an appointment for another one next week. I look forward to what this will bring up in me in the days to come.

Says 232 – How imprints, programs and beliefs control us.

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232-labThis imprinted and programed dog video clip just shows you how powerful your Minds imprints and programs and beliefs are. Things can only be done one way and they can NOT change.. Politics, religion, food, medicine, or whatever you have been programed to believe is the TRUTH…. that is what is RUNNING your mind and body.. And no matter what anyone else says or does… you refuse to believe them and see a new truth….. And the more dumbed down you get, the more you are unable to change..