Category Archives: Personal

Says 170 – I’m back – kind of, sort of, maybe. :) !

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170 - cartoon-man peeps-out-trap-doorI can’t believe that on Dec. 03, it will be a years since my car accident. This summer, not summer, this year, has been a washout, as I’m still going to my Chiropractor and getting massage treatments, while doing my own physiotherapy to expand my range of motion and strength. And while they are helping, it’s been a slow process. I’m still only able to do maybe 25% of what I could do before the accident, and most of it has to do with my whiplash injury that not only affects my neck, but also my back, arms and legs. Moving either my arms or legs in a who knows what manner, will trigger my neck, which then affects the rest of my body. Even walking is limited to a few blocks at most. Besides that, I still have my constant dull headache that doesn’t help the situation. On top of my physical issues, I’m also trying to get my books published in eBook formats and that is turning out to be a nightmare. So while I say, I’m back, that may be short lived, but it is my intent to resume blogging, as I feel it’s time to reconnect.

Says 169 – Books finally published

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Well it’s done! After years in the process and numerous revisions and edits, I finally decided that enough is enough, and on 2015 July 27, I officially published my trilogy.
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I self-published them on CreateSpace and by the weekend they will be on Amazon US and Europe, as well as available other distributors and retailers. Now I’m faced with the task of creating the eBook versions, which I hope, will not take too long, or I’ll just have to hire someone to do it for me.

Says 168 – The unseen role of denial in guilt and shame

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When purchasing the Hyundai Santa Fe, the saleswoman asked me for the copy of the company web page I had brought along, showing the Santa Fe. I saw her then show them to the others she had discussions with that were out of earshot. It wasn’t until she placed the file folder she was carrying on her desk that I noticed the price in the top right hand corner that was higher that what she had quoted me and had agreed upon. While I suspected what had happened, she and they never admitted it or approached me, which was denial on their part. In their denial, they also gave me no choice, as the matter was not up for discussion, unless of course, I listened to Guilt and Shame that were now on me, once I had this realization. They were not there before, and that I was a clue for me that there was more to this experience.

guilt-300x299However, Guilt and shame were on me, but I also knew that if I listened to them, I’d be in denial. Guilt and Shame are not of my Essence, and wold have me try to save and make things right for the people and company that was in denial, and denied anything was wrong. Guilt and Shame would have me try to CONTROL them, to make them tell the truth and end their denials.

It’s not my job or responsibility to CONTROL or FORCE people to end their denials as that is their choice… Trying to do so, even if it benefits me, only puts me back into the same old world of denial that I am slowly breaking out of. I never saw the role that Guilt and Shame played in the unseen role of denial, it’s subtle, using guile and cunning, like the Inner Critic, to get you back into being in denial by being, nice, kind, caring, sharing, co-operative, compromising, loving, yadda yadda.

On Dec. 16 I picked up my vehicle and talked to the saleswoman that had sold me it. When I asked if there was an error on the web page pricing, she told me yes, big time.. but that they felt obligated to let me have it at that price including the $1,000.00 discount. I then told her how Guilt and Shame were on me to refuse the deal, or to not take the $1,000.00 discount, or to buy the drivetrain protection package, even though I didn’t think I needed it. She assured me that it was not my fault and that I was just lucky, in the right place at the right time.. I laughed and said, that yes, even the accident was lucky.. or I wouldn’t be here.. She told me to get in and drive away before the owner changes his mind..

Sin will find you outAn imprint, program and belief I have that empowers GUILT and SHAME are my old RELIGIOUS teachings that of being a SINNER.. Holy F**K …. as any presence of GUILT and SHAME would mean that I was dammed in HELL.. That I disobeyed God, and would be punished.. Even if I was innocent.. GUILT and SHAME have set themselves up to be judge, jury and executioner and a FALSE form of LOVE… Ah HA!!… Just flashed to my family being excommunicated by the Catholic Church when I was in Grade 7 because I refused to go to confession at school on Monday…as I had been to confession on Sunday (Mother’s Orders) and I had nothing to confess…Later, I had a lot of guilt and shame on me, that things would have been okay if I had just lied and did what they asked..

Says 167 – Lesson in Life… Vehicle accident purpose – 2

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The second part of having the accident has to do with healing my body and my physical injuries. After my accident on Dec. 03, I was taken to the hospital and after an ultra sound and a few X-rays, I was released. On Dec. 05, I had an appointment to see my doctor that lasted all of three minutes. After a brief exam, she said to take it easy and to take Tylenol for any pain. Later she had her receptionist call me to say that my hearing issues were related to having a mild concussion.
For the next few days I suffered with my aches and pains getting worse, and I was only getting about three hours sleep . When I got my insurance claim forms I dropped in to the Doctors office to have them filled out so that I could begin to get physiotherapy or whatever I needed, and said I’d pick them up later. The receptionist informed me that I needed an appointment and that the earliest was on Dec. 12.
woman-doctor-24145108I saw the doctor on Dec. 12 and when I began telling her of the issues I was having, and showing her that I had little strength in both hands, she coolly asked me if I wanted to fill out the forms or discuss my issues. I said, “WTF!” and not in a polite way. I have a concussion, headache, loss of healing, whiplash, and other aches and pains and you give me this bullshit.” I then said that I had called a lawyer to begin proceedings for a pain and suffering claim. She interrupted me and said, we’ll do the form later, let me see your hands.
After an brief examination, she filled out a hospital requisition form for X-rays on both my hands and wrists as she said that I might have fractured or dislocated some small bones in my wrist. She also gave me a form to see about getting physiotherapy and massage for my whiplash and the other aches and pains. I have my first physiotherapy treatment on Monday Dec. 15 and I see her again on Dec. 18.

This issue is also related to the accident, but this time it’s about loving my Body and speaking up and NOT TRUSTING a so-called professional that you ASSUME is looking after your best interests. I need to take responsibility for how my Body feels and get the help I need to heal it regardless of what other people might say or think., or are offended by my directness.

Says 166 – Lesson in Life… Vehicle accident and new vehicle purpose – 1

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Doing a little catch up here, not completely, but an important experience.
On Dec 03, A woman went through a red light and I T-boned her GMC Yukon with my 2000 Honda CRV. I was taken to hospital, X-rayed and released.
Honda
Now to my story……..

Well I’m slowly finding out what the car accident was all about, and that it was yet another step in healing and also in manifesting.. The woman that ran the red light had no intent to run it, and to cause me pain and suffering, it was just a momentary lapse of awareness, and it happened because it was meant to happen, for her benefit and mine, although at the time, it didn’t feel that way, and that is because there is more to it, things that had to unfold, to be experienced.

Now the medical system and the insurance company added to my plight and during all this I felt I had no choice, and that I had to just accept what happened as fate, what I deserved for whatever reason.. The insurance company doing their best to reimburse me as little as possible. BTW, in all this self hatred, guilt and shame had no voice, and this is interesting as I will now get to that.

For days, I searched the internet (Kijiji) and after some 90 possible vehicles, and 9 different makes, I decided on three, Hyundai, Mitisubishi and Honda Element, and then narrowed it down to 2005-2006.. Before I contacted any, I looked to see what the car dealers had in Woodstock, and just to see how it felt, I test drove a 2007 Hyundi that was way over priced… On Dec. 11, I contacted the dealer selling a 2006 Hyundai and made arrangements to see the following day.

Now we get to the next phase. Little did I know that it just so happened, that another person in the scheme of things, also had a momentary lapse in awareness and had entered the retail price of the 2006 Santa Fe wrong. Instead of $7,995, they entered $5,995. That mistake didn’t cause me pain an suffering, in fact, the reverse. Now to add to this, the sales lady never picked up on the error, and also offered me an additional $1,000 off the vehicle.. It was only when she pulled the file to write it up my purchase, that she spotted the error.

She said we had to wait for the accountant to come back from lunch, so while I waited, she was talking to other staff. She also asked if she could see the copy of the company web page I had printed and taken with me that showed the listed price, that I had previously shown her. I didn’t know what was going on until later, when she put the folder on her desk and I saw the price in the top right had corner. I was confused and didn’t ask, and she didn’t say anything was wrong, so when the accountant came in, I signed on the dotted line and gave them a deposit. My vehicle had yet to be safetied and e-tested and I was told it would be ready on Tuesday.
Hyundai

Now when I left the dealer, GUILT and SHAME were all over me, saying I was bad, that what I did was wrong, that I should go back and make things right. That I was stealing, that someone is going to get into trouble if I didn’t, and yadda yadda yadda. As all this was going on, I knew I had no intent to steal, and I also had no intent to do as GUILT and SHAME wanted me to do and that was to SAVE another or to reimburse the company. Guilt is NOT love or loving..

I find it amazing how the universe responds when you ask to heal your issues and move forward. It might not be in the way you think it should be, and it will be painful, BUT, if you look deeper, you always find the hidden gem, the part of you that now is set free. In this case, that I deserve to be happy, and that I am not responsible to make other people happy, and that what they do, or don’t do is their choice. Everything happens for a reason, and of the 90 vehicles I could have looked at, this happened with the very first one I was really interested in and bought. Coincidence.. NOT 🙂

PS:
More realizations are coming up. The dealer and its employees did what they did and sold me the vehicle, either because they were afraid I would sue them, or they genuinely felt that I deserved a break. It’s not for me to question their decision or to alter it as GUILT would have me do, but to accept it as their choice… And that it’s my choice not to follow GUILT as some misguided form of love, of being nice, kind, considerate, compromising, ethics, principles, morality, righteousness, or religious values and judgments etc, etc..

11:45 am While my first thought about having the accident was that I had no choice, that I was the innocent victim, when I really think and feel into it, I realize that (on a Spiritual level) I made an agreement with the woman to have the accident and she with me. Not that the accident was the lesson, but that it would open the doors for what I needed to touch and heal.. So instead of blaming the woman, what I now feel is gratitude and love…

For those that don’t really know me, what I’m doing here is sharing my healing process and journey.. The trials and tribulations I need to go through before I “get it” and am able to move on to the next mountain I need to climb..

Says 162 – Books Finally Published

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look-whats_newWell it’s been a journey to say the least but I’ve finally published my trilogy. I started writing back in 2000 and after4 years, I finished what I thought was my first book. I sent out query letters and submissions to almost a hundred publishers and agents, but had no takers. Discouraged, I put the book aside and carried on doing other things, but still journaling and writing. It wasn’t until 2008, that I decided to divide my original book and expanded the “tools” section that had formed the appendix to create my first book titled, “Journeys from the Heart Centre – Meditation as a tool for healing and self-empowerment,” which I then published as an eBook. I then began to work on my second book, ignoring my original work, as I felt that that would complete my trilogy.

After countless delays and frustrations in tying all three books together, I finally finished them, including a substantial re-vision to my first book that was in response to emails I had received. So now, I need to edit and update my website and then look at getting the manuscripts off to a POD publisher so that they can be printed and distributed as a paperback.
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After that, I’ll be looking at creating a wiki website for my material, as well as cleaning of all the bits and pieces of the material I’ve used in books 1, 2 and 3, and sorting out what I’m going to use for book 4. If you would like a free copy of my eBooks, either in a DOC or PDF format, you can do so at my website.. shenreed.com

Says 160 – Got a cold with an unexpected side effect

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says 160 - man sneezeI just got over a cold that had unexpected and painful side effects. Sneezing is part and parcel of having a cold, but this time, the sneeze did some damage. I was bending forward and also turned to the right when a sneeze suddenly came upon me. There was no warning, just a powerful 250 MPH sneeze that felt like a hot knife had sliced my body in two as I felt my body drop and my knees buckle. It was instantly followed by a second sneeze that thankfully wasn’t as severe and painful as the first one, but then again, I was already in pain, so added pain wasn’t noticeable. I was in agony and had to cling to the wall to get up and return to my bed.

says 160 - spinal cordI was now not only suffering the pain and misery of a cold, but also severe back ache. In addition, my legs felt numb and I had to boost myself to go from a sitting to standing position. The next day I still had my cold symptoms and constant lower back pain. The following morning, I couldn’t find a resting, standing or seated position that didn’t hurt. I called my Chiropractor and got an appointment for the next day. The next day when I got up, the pain wasn’t as severe. I went for my appointment and after examining me, he informed me that as the result of my bending forward, it put pressure on the forward part of my vertebra, compressing my disc. Then the twisting action pivoted my vertebrae to the side, squishing my disc again. says 160 - verterbrae cross sectionWhen I sneered so strongly, my core muscles tightened and the sudden expulsion of air caused my upper body to suddenly move, jerk, not only putting extreme pressure on my already pressured disc, but also causing some of the outer layers of the myelin-sheathed fibers of my spinal cord to be torn. After some massage, manipulation, electrical stimulation, and being tapped up and applying cold packs, I was good to go. I have to go back in a few days, to see how things are going.

I share this to let you know not to bend or twist when you are going to sneeze, especially if it is going to be a forceful one.

Says 151 – I’m back and there are some changes.

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151 - Book 2 coverWell having my website hacked was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back as I haven’t posted for months. I had been gradually cutting back on posting to my blog for a while and when I did, it was always playing “catch up.”  This put a lot of pressure on me, as I was also trying to finish editing my 2nd and 3rd books so that I could publish them. Having my entire website hacked, make me feel what’s the use, and who really cares anyway, except the creeps that hacked me.

After getting things back on line, I slowly focused on editing my books.  There were a lot of things I had over looked, like checking my grammar and formatting.  I thought I had no grammar errors until I happened to open another Word document that said I had too many errors to continue checking my grammar. This made me wonder, so I divided my books to make them shorter and then corrected the grammar issues. I’m almost there and hope to have them available as free ebooks (PDF or.doc  format) in the next couple of weeks.

151 - Johnny AppleseedI’ve also decided to change what I post on my blog. I have been posting my personal experiences as well as what is happening in the world today, trying to wake people up.  I’m no longer going to do that as becoming aware as to what is wrong with this world , then doing something about it is a personal choice.  Instead, I’m going to use my blog as a means to plant a seed in the minds of those reading it, so that they too can begin to heal their issues and create the reality they desire. This realization came to me as I’ve recently been collecting seeds, and it occurred to me that I need to sow the seeds that I have. Not the physical seeds, like Johnny Apple Seed, but the Word seeds, that will grow and be taken in to change people’s Minds and Hearts. I’m still going to post my personal stuff and any issues I’m going through as well as healings and insights  I experience in creating  a new world reality, Heaven on Earth.

Says 150 – WordPress blog and my website hacked…

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Web blog hacked2013 May 12 A friend emailed me to tell me that my blog had been hacked. I checked it out and sure enough, I got a black screen and a “not to pleasant” welcome message. When I clicked on the message, it displayed a picture, along with music and animated GIF’s boasting their success. I was in shock, as why would anyone want to target me, but then I realized that to these “otherkin,” it’s all a game and that creating chaos and misery is what turns them on.

HackerI reported my problem to my website host “Save on Hosting” and they took my website off line.  . I immediately began to scan my computer for any virus or Trojan that might have infected it. I ran my AVG, Malwarebytes, Spybot – search and destroy and even downloaded Microsoft security essentials and Kasperesky and ran them to check if anything had been missed but my machine was clean. After a few emails, they stated that WordPress had a vulnerability and that was how the hackers got into my site. We exchanged a few more emails and they re-stored a backup version of my website and had me back up and running. So while it was a shock and an inconvenience, it wasn’t a big deal.

Says 149 – I went to see a Psychic

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tarot cards 2013 April 01– I decided to go to a psychic fair in London, Ontario on March 31. I didn’t know why I was going, only that I needed to be there. It was a small fair with different readers and goods for sale. I struck up a conversation with one psychic and decided to have her give me a Tarot Card reading. The last time I had a reading done was over 20 years ago. It was interesting to hear her give me details of what I have been experiencing. She also picked up on the three books I’m in the process of finalizing and publishing. She also gave me information that I wasn’t aware of like this year being the year that I publish my books, that it’s now the right time and that I’ll be meeting a woman and will no longer be alone on my journey.

imprints, programs and beliefsThe biggest message I got from her that was confusing at first as she said that I was to let go of the past or it will consume and follow me. That confused me at as it is totally the opposite of my intent and journey, which is to go into the past and heal it. It wasn’t until I got home and wrote “the past” in my journal that I realized what the past I need to let go of is. What I need to let go of is the World’s imprints, programs and beliefs. I need to focus on creating what I desire and not worry about or try to change, fix or save those that want to live in this reality. New EarthI can’t change the mindset of society, nor can I solve the problems and issues they have collectively created. I can only help those that desire to change and that is only going to happen after the shit hits the proverbial fan, and the present society begins to collapse and the NWO takes over. It’s then that some people will begin to have a shift in consciousness, what I call ”quicken” and desire to awaken. That is where I come in, and that is also when I meet a woman and will no longer be alone on my journey.

Says 144 – All the world’s a stage

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All the World is a stage2013 March 13 I just realized that people put on a mask or cloak of the company or agency that they are working for. As long as they are working and getting paid (rewarded) to do their job, they feel obliged to conform and carry out the rules and duties of their employer. If the person were to take off their uniform or corporate cloak and talk to other non-cloaked human beings, they would act differently.

It’s an illusion. We live in a world where people become what the corporation (a fictitious entity) led by a person or persons that are also wearing a mask or cloak, wants us to be. The result is that it creates our present reality, which in most cases, is unloving. This is especially true in government, military, religions, media, education, etc. The imprints, programs and beliefs are so ingrained in our psyche that it is difficult, and next to impossible to even identify that we’re wearing a mask, a cloak, as it is so interwoven into our daily activities, like walking and talking, where we are not consciously aware of each step we take or word we speak. We think we are normal and natural, totally oblivious to the fact that we are controlled by our imprints programs and beliefs to such a point that we have no concept of what and who we really are. Our reality is like what Shakespeare said in,

“As you like it,” Act II Scene VII

All the world’s a stage,
All the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,

Says 140 – Chemtrail flu – Have you got it yet?

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Chemtrail-Flu-Have-You-Got-It-YetIt’s interesting as the other day I found this link on facebook… Chemtrail flu – Have you got it yet?

The article tied in with what I was thinking and feeling about my physical symptoms. The past couple of weeks with my back pain and not feeling up to par, I had the thought that what I’m feeling isn’t natural as when I had aches and pains in the past, the antibiotics I’m taking built up my immune system and the Chiropractor would realign whatever was off with my back. But that is not the case now as this just seems to linger and linger and my back pains are also different as they come and go.

I’ve been noticing a lot of jets spraying their chemtrails and that also pisses me off. It seems like all levels of government, even the opposition members are in on this secret conspiracy to poison the planet and all upon it.

Says 139 – Yet another ear infection and flu like symptoms

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Man-with-Earache2013 Feb 21 On Tuesday I started to get a sore throat and last night around 9:00 pm my left ear started ringing and plugging up. I could also feel my throat and lungs beginning to tighten up… Great, just what I need! I went to bed with a pounding head and earache and tossed and turned for hours, Finally around 3:00 am it got better and I was able to get some sleep. I was thinking that it’s been about nine months since I had my last ear infection.

The next day I still had a sinus headache and ringing in my left ear. I was also off balance and when I walked, I could feel/hear my footsteps in my left ear. After supper, my sinuses began to clear and that carried on into the middle of the night. Good thing was that as it cleared, my headache was also going away. I forgot to mention that on top of this, I still had my back pains, so life is not a joy at this time.

Says 137 – Going to see what Noni Juice can do for me

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Noni Juice2013 February 6 since the Apple cider vinegar wasn’t working I remembered taking Noni juice a few years ago to help balance my system. I went to the health food store and picked up a small bottle and decided to take it three times a day as directed. This juice is totally different than what I had 15 years ago. While Noni juice has its own distinctive taste, this product has very little taste at all. It’s like comparing watered-down orange lemonade to freshly squeezed orange juice, it’s just bland. The other thing is that the Nonie juice that I took 15 years ago I noticed a difference in my body within 2 to 3 days. I had a kidney infection at the time and it cured it up like magic and I felt 100 % better all around. I’m not feeling or seeing any change in my body as I’m using this one. Since I already have it and don’t want to waste I’ll keep taking it for a few more days, but for now,it’s very disappointing. The brand name that I got was Flora and it’s supposed to be certified organic fresh Hawaiian Noni juice It is concentrated as they recommend using 5 – 15 ml in a glass of water.

Says 136 – I Gots a cold – Not feelin good

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apple cider vinegar2013 Jan 30 Yesterday I began to get chills and fevers and also a mild headache and a runny nose. Today I realized that the Apple cider vinegar I was taking was acidic and it was running down my immune system so that now I was getting a cold. I stopped taking it and started to take baking soda and water in an attempt to bring my blood ph level back into the alkaline state.

Acidic - alkaline2013 February 5, I’ve been sick for the past four days. Not only do I have a cold with headache, sinus, runny nose, fever and chills, but I’m also suffering from severe lower back and neck pain. There were a couple of nights that I didn’t know which way to turn or what to do to get to sleep as I was in agony.

I was feeling better today and went to the chiropractor today and he gave me some relief for my back. I realize that I’ve been struggling with a cold or whatever for the past couple months and I think taking the Apple cider vinegar was pivotal in changing the ph level in my blood and letting it manifest in the way it did. I still have over half a bottle left and I’ll just used for cooking or whatever.

Says 135 – Seeing my Chiropractor

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Chiroparactor2013 Jan 21 I went to see my Chiropractor today about my neck, shoulders and lower back. I’ve been in pain for a month now and it’s not getting any better, in fact, I’m noticing that I’m beginning to stoop and slouch my shoulders with my head down, like an old man. There are also times when I find it difficult to even get out of bed or a chair, as it’s also affecting my legs. After the treatment, I noticed that my posture was almost back to normal, although I still had some pain. I’m to go back on Thursday for another session. Human back

Says 134 – Apple Cider Vinegar Detox

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Apple cider Vinegar2013 Jan 20 I usually do an Apple cleanse this time of year, but this year, I decided to try something new. The reason for the change is that I noticed that I eat very little food that is either sour or bitter, yet I have no problem with sweet or spicy food. I thought of how vinegar removes calcium build up, where water is involved, like shower heads, tiles, counters, etc. I then thought of how cholesterol and plaque buildup deposits in our blood vessels and thought that maybe adding vinegar to my diet would help get rid of any potential issues. Part of all this is because I have a doctor’s appointment at the end of February and I need to get blood work done before that.

I decided to do an apple vinegar detox where I would take 2 – 3 tablespoons of organic Apple Cider Vinegar in a cup of distilled water and add a bit of honey to sweeten the taste. I would take this concoction 2 – 3 times a day before a meal. It didn’t taste that bad, but neither did it taste that good. After a few days, I decided to try another suggestion and that was to take it with tomato juice instead of water. I substituted tomato juice for a garden cocktail and that was quite enjoyable. I decided to do this cleanse until the end of the month or until I noticed some unpleasant side effects.

Says 132 – Things coming together

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way of working out

 

 

 

 

2013 Jan 11 Well things are coming together. I’ve done more cleaning and organizing. I’ve been working on editing book 2 and it’s going nicely. Yesterday I picked up a used bookcase to replace an old one-drawer dresser that is big and bulky and of little use. I also picked up an old home movie screen for $4.50 at a thrift store, which I intend to use as a backdrop when I begin to do YouTube videos. Later that morning the property owner came back with the re-finished cupboard doors that I later re-installed. He also took the one-drawer dresser away. I unpacked a couple of boxes, including my books that haven’t seen daylight for quite some time. The ceiling fan and light have been repaired, (faulty receiver). I also got hooked up to the internet that is being shared in the building. So now, I’m basically set up and settled in, and I must say, it feels good, like a home… For how long, I don’t know but for now, I will enjoy it. I’ve also begun to do my exercise again and I can even do my indoor running and jumping as there is no one below me..

Says 131 – A knight’s tale and Remembering my Dad

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a knights tale2013 Jan 05 Saturday, I was channel surfing on the TV and happened to tune into the movie “A Knight’s Tale” and although I missed the beginning, I did watch it to the end. What struck me was a scene where the knight (William) flashed back to his childhood where his father sends him off to be an apprentice and told him to watch and learn. I was emotionally moved by that comment and how the father was genuinely doing what he felt was best for his son. I began to write what I was remembering and feeling in my journal. Here is what I wrote.

Those words reminded me of my father and what he said to me when he took me to school that first day. I couldn’t speak English (only German) and I was going to an English school. My father took me aside and told me that I should listen and learn, but he also added, and be like the other kids.

Like the father in the movie, I felt that my father didn’t know what he was saying and how his words were to impact me in a negative way. I know he didn’t have unloving intent as he honestly felt that going to school was best for me and that I could do what he couldn’t do, and that if I learned and was educated, that I wouldn’t end up being a poor dirt farmer like he was. He had done all he could and now I had to move on and go to school, and that this was his way of showing me he loved me, of wanting a better life for me.
In this moment, I miss him and wished that we could have been closer. I mean on a real level and not being close at a distance. I love you dad. Thank you.

Your Son
Johnnie

Says 130 – Clean up disaster

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paint wrinkling2013 Jan 01 Yesterday I bought some TSP cleaner to wash the walls and remove the smoke film. I began in the kitchen where the landlord had used Spray Nine yesterday to see if there was any problem with the product. There was none so I continued with the rest of the kitchen. I then began on a wall in the living room/bedroom and then made my way around the entire room. Next I tackled the bathroom and closet door. Just before supper I pulled out the fridge and washed the sides and walls and then washed the upper kitchen cupboards and before stopping for supper.

pot scrubberAfter supper, I cleaned the bottom cupboard and I was finished… or so I thought. As I was cleaning, I was shocked and heartbroken to see the finish peeling and blistering and falling off like dry or sun burnt skin or fish scales. I washed it with clear water again and again but nothing helped. I decided to let it dry and see what it looked like in the morning. The only thing I can think of that I did differently was use the Spray Nine he had left as I felt that the TSP hadn’t really cleaned the bottom section like it did the top. There had to be a chemical reaction with the TSP, Spray Nine and the finish to create such an effect. The thing was that it didn’t affect the stain under the clear finish, just the thin clear finish that I was able to scrape off with my finger nail or a soft plastic non scratch pot scrubber. I was prepared to pay to have them re-finished or to buy new front component replacements. Needless to say, I didn’t have a good sleep that night.

The next morning I called the landlord and told him what happened and he said he would be out in the afternoon to look at it. When he arrived, he said that he thought about the problem last night and said the problem was his, as he had sprayed the bottom units with a clear coat. He also said that he would fix it. He removed the doors to take with him.

He also had a look at the ceiling fan and light that wasn’t working except on full speed and bright light, and thought it might be a bad remote control. We also exchanged a brown recliner for another blue swivel rocker he had.

Says 129 – Moving Day

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Moving day2012 Dec 31, Well I officially got the key to my bachelor apartment today but I didn’t move in until the morning of Dec 31. I met the landlord at 10 am and he was busy cleaning the apartment. He had washed one wall in the kitchen, trying to get the cigarette smoke film off. He left around noon but I stayed and did some extra cleaning. I then left to pick up some supplies. I stopped and got takeout for supper before returning to my old room. I told Paul that I would be out on Monday morning, Dec 31. He was hoping that I would move out on Sunday, but I didn’t feel like rushing or moving in the dark just to make him happy.

2012 Dec 31 I went out for breakfast, then went back and to my room began loading up my stuff. It took two trips but I was out by 11:00 am. The second trip was basically for the furniture I had recently picked up, my computer desk and chair, book case and night table. I slowly unpacked and organized myself.

Says 127 – Moving to a Bachelor Apartment

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Bachelor apartment layout2012 Dec 30 Sunday 2013 will not only be a new year but also a new beginning for me as I will have my own personal space.

I called my new landlord tonight and he said that I can probably move in tomorrow Sunday Dec 30. I’m to meet him at 10:00 am tomorrow morning to see what needs to be done to the apartment besides the general clean up.

Needless to say, I’m excited at having my own personal space. The first time in 14 years. 🙂

UPDATE: I got they key at 10:00 am and spend 4 hours cleaning up the place. The guy just took his stuff and left. The landlord was there and tidying up and washing the cigarette smoke off a couple of walls in the kitchen and the bathroom that were the worst. I moved and cleaned up all the furniture including the fridge. I still have to do the stove, but I’ll do that once I officially move in, which will be Monday morning Dec 31, 2012…

It’s nice… it feels like home, at least for a while..

Says 126 – Dumb as a bag of hammers

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packing2012 Dec 28 Friday. Paul saw me take stuff out to my Honda and asked me if I was moving out today. I said I wasn’t, that I was just loading some stuff while the weather was nice as it was supposed to snow the next few days.

Later he asked me again when I was moving out. I said the end of the month , maybe sooner but I have to wait until the guy moves out before I can move in. He said that it would be good if I moved out tomorrow as he has a lot to do as his girlfriend and daughter are moving in. I then asked if his girlfriend had to be out on the 31st. He said yes, and that she has a lot of stuff to move and I’d like to have you out so that she can move in.

I then stated that while she has to be out of her apartment on the 31’st, that doesn’t mean that she can’t move in before that, as she can move in to you house anytime. Why don’t you move her stuff into the spare bedroom, or fill up your living and dining room or the room downstairs or even the garage so that you don’t have to move her on the 31st.

He then said that he has to paint my room before she moves in and it’s best to paint with no furniture in the room. I said, yes, But if I don’t get my apt before the 31st, I’ll still be here and you will be moving her on the same day I’m moving out.

painting a roomHe then said that he would not be home on the 31st, and added in a demanding tone that he wanted me out for sure on Monday, and with that he left the room and went upstairs. I assumed that he was going to a New Years Eve party, so the question is, how is he planning on moving his girlfriend and paint the room if he is not even going to be around, and neither is she, as I assumes she is going to the party with him. He has had almost 6 weeks to paint the bedrooms and begin to move her stuff in and he is only now beginning to think about it. Dah!!! The boy is a bright as a bag of hammers. My observation is that if he wasn’t stoned 70% of the time or had a alcoholic drink in him the other 30% of the time, he might not have the brain fog he has. Like I told him in a previous unrelated conversation, it’s his life and what he does or doesn’t do with it is his choice and responsibility.

Update: Dec 29 Saturday. Well this afternoon he had his father and his girlfriend over and the three of them began painting the spare bedroom. As I came out of my room, he made a smart assed comment saying, “See, I can paint a room in one day.” I looked at him and replied, “I know you can, you just need to get off your ass and do it.” He looked shocked but never said as word as his father and girlfriend looked at me and at him and said nothing and pretended they didn’t hear me.

Says 125 – Potheads doing what potheads do best

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tokin-up-

woman-smoking-marijuana2012 Dec 27 I was working at my computer when I began getting a headache. I thought I had it because I had been at the computer too long. I decided to take a break. As I opened my bedroom door to go to the bathroom, I was greeted with a blast of the odor of marijuana that was overpowering. I immediately felt nauseous and began to cough . Paul and his girlfriend were toking up in his bedroom. This was the third time in the past week and a half that he has intentionally smoked his shit in the house. I guess he figures that as I’m leaving anyway, he can do whatever he wants.

The smell of weed not only makes me cough and wheeze but it also makes me feel sick, dizzy and disoriented and gives me a splitting headache that is focused behind my eyes and lasts for 6 – 10 hours. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper as I had to stop working on editing my book as I couldn’t focus. I hope to get the keys to my bachelor apartment this weekend and I’m out of this shit…   Hopefully… 🙂

Says 124 – Young photography buff

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Fujifilm FinePix Z3 Camera2012 Dec 24 A while back, I was taking some pictures with my Canon Powershot SX220 HS at my daughters house and my granddaughter, Nyah, (4 years old) was interested in my camera and wanted to take some pictures. I showed her the basics and while holding the strap, I let her take some shots .I was surprised as she took some pretty good pictures.

A few days later I saw a pink Fujifilm FinePix Z3 Camera for sale on Kijiji for $10.00 and though of getting it for my granddaughter. I emailed the seller and made arrangements to see it. It didn’t have a video card and the woman said it was her daughters, and that she didn’t use it anymore and wasn’t sure if the battery was good. I thought for a moment and as I had a spare video card, I thought for $10.00 I’ll take a chance as everything else was there and it looked in pretty good shape. I especially liked the on-off feature, which was a slide plate that covered the lens when it was off. It also looked pretty sturdy and had a good case. What was an added bonus was that it was pink, Nyah’s favorite colour.

I took it home and inserted my spare video card and nothing. I then took out the battery and lo and behold, it had been put in backwards. I turned it around and turned the camera on and it worked. I checked it out, including the movie feature and charger and everything worked. I put it away as I was going to give it to her before Xmas.

NyahA week before Xmas, I was over at my daughters place and Nyah took me downstairs to play with her. She showed me a toy camera that she had gotten from her baby sitter and said in a very disappointed voice, “It’s just a toy Gramps, it’s not real and good for anything,” as she tossed it in a basket along with some of her other toys. Later, I asked my daughter if she had told her I had a real camera for her and she said she hadn’t.

I wrapped it up and gave it to her the day before Xmas. I showed her how to work it and after a few shots, she was all smiles. It didn’t take her long to begin exploring the telephoto function, as well as viewing her pictures. I was sitting on the couch with my grandson Max, and she came up and began directing me as to what I should do, and where I should look so that she could take her shots. My daughter (her mother) was standing behind her and was silently laughing as she realized she was mimicking her in what she does to get pictures of Nyah. I have to say that the kid is a quick learner and has a good eye.