This imprinted and programed dog video clip just shows you how powerful your Minds imprints and programs and beliefs are. Things can only be done one way and they can NOT change.. Politics, religion, food, medicine, or whatever you have been programed to believe is the TRUTH…. that is what is RUNNING your mind and body.. And no matter what anyone else says or does… you refuse to believe them and see a new truth….. And the more dumbed down you get, the more you are unable to change..
I spent more than two hours (in the middle of the night) writing 11 1/2 pages in my journal. I’m posting it in its entirety as I want you to see how the thought/feeling process unfolded and how I gained realizations as to how to heal my Body. The story begins with a recount Saturday afternoon experiences that triggered the middle of the night writings. Sorry that it’s kind of long. I was going to break this down into two or three segments, but felt it would fragment the flow of acquiring this realization.
2016 November 19 Saturday 2:30 pm – I had gone to the farmers market and while there I got a pain behind my right shoulder blade and spine that ran up to my neck. It was especially painful and felt like a knot or kink, but I don’t know what caused it. Another thing is that my right hip was also sore and hurting.
I lay down to have a brief nap and reflect on my shoulder and I got that it’s involved with a car accident, and more. I flashed to seeing the woman in her SUV going through the intersection and I slammed on the brakes. On impact, my right leg was pressing on the brake pedal and that resulted in my right hip not moving forward like my left one as my left leg was not braced in the same way. This, and the fact that I was thrown into the driver’s door helped to twist my hip. In a similar fashion, my right and left arm were braced for impact and the jarring impact, followed by the twisting action of being hurled into the driver’s door twisted my right shoulder neck and spine.
But, there’s more. While all this was going on, my mind was thinking of survival and denied any emotional and physical expression except those that supported its survival mentality, like focusing on things that were OK, with little consideration or recognition of the real pain in the body that was numb and in shock, and unable to express itself as it needed to. It was only hours and days after the accident when the shock wore off that my mind became aware of the damage that had been inflicted on my Body, and even then, it was only related to the pain that the body was feeling at the time, that the Mind didn’t want to feel, and not what actually happened to the body, or what help the body needed to allow it to heal itself.
I got up and did two exercises from the Rudolph Stone Polarity Therapy book, chart 63 and 64, and my shoulders and lower back feel a bit better. I still feel a pinched nerve in my left shoulder but overall, I’m not in the pain I was in before.
So now the question is how do I heal my physical body?, When I was working on healing my emotions, I would remember the traumatic experiences, and my Spirit (Mind) would allow my Soul [Will] to express everything that it never got to express during the original experiences, like heartbreak, terror, anger, rage, aloneness, unloved, betrayal, manipulated, etc. As I wrote that, I flashed to some of the healing experiences I witnessed when working with others, and while some of the previous mentioned emotions were involved, it was guilt and shame that were stored in the body, that negatively affected the physical body with aches, pains, and disabilities. Once they released the guilt and shame energy they had been holding, the body immediately responded with health and well being. So now the questions are; where does the body store any so-called negative feelings and emotions like heartbreak, betrayal, unloved, alone, etc., and how does one release them? Also, where and how does the body’s own feelings, emotions and pain get stored [trapped] in the body, and how does one release them?
November 20, Sunday 2:50 AM
2:50 am – As mentioned, I had a real pain in my back between my shoulder blades and into my neck yesterday. I just got up now to go to the bathroom, and my back felt a bit better. I also got the feeling that it’s associated with the betrayal and heartbreak of getting blindsided and stabbed in the back. Not expecting to be hurt that way from people I loved and trusted. Suddenly feeling flooded with pain, disbelief and shock, and heartbroken and betrayed and not knowing what to say in a moment as you are too numb to even respond and so you react and pretend [deny] that it’s not happening and that its normal, going to be OK, that it’s just a dream, that you were wrong, or that they did mean it and were just joking.
I just remembered a poem I wrote in my teens and early twenties, that I shared in my third book. The poem is titled, Temp/Anger, and it’s basically all about this issue. Wow! It’s all about SURVIVAL, and how I have taken in unloving energy and have been holding it in my spine, my chakras, and other parts of my body.
3:10 am – I just had a brief flutter of heartbreak but it came and went just as fast, but at least it moved.
I just flashed different [unexpected and unpleasant] experiences that I’ve had, and also good experiences, where I deliberately shot myself down for fear of getting hurt again, so it’s a better that I ended as it will hurt less. This was mainly with relationships, especially female, where I’d either convinced myself they were not interested in me, or that they were too good for me, or that I wasn’t good enough for them. I flashed through my teenage years of feeling ashamed of not only me, but my parents as well for being poor. I didn’t want to have a girlfriend for fear of having her find out how poor we were.
Starting school was a big time shock for me. Besides the physical, mental and emotional abuse, I felt heartbreak and betrayed by my parents, teachers and peers. I also felt an overwhelming feeling of heartlessness being directed at me with no real way of not taking it in. In believing that what was happening to me was my fault, and also based on my religious indoctrination (RC) beliefs of TRUSTING PEOPLE, thinking that they were as loving as I was. Giving them the benefit of the doubt time and time again that I heard known, or convincing myself to wait and see what else they had the say that would clear up my doubts.
3:25 am – This seems like a repeat of what I went through in healing my Will, but yet it seems like on a different level, as the feelings and emotions are more like shadows, and not as strong and powerful like I had previously experience. Aha! – I just realized that while I was able to move my emotions that I had denied expression, I hadn’t moved all the unloving denial energy that I had taken in during and after those experiences. I hadn’t moved the feelings my Body had experienced. I denied myself even to the point of shutting down my physical talents and gifts so that I wouldn’t upset people, so that they would like and accept me.
I just felt more feelings of heartbreak that came and went again just as quickly.
I feel I’ve cut off and denied so much of myself, my innocence, that if I compare all my Essence when I incarnated to what I have left now, it’s like my physical body compared to my left hand. I’ve lost almost all of me, not lost, more like I can’t find. But yes, lost in that I denied and cut them off. Aha! I just realized that it’s more like this is how much unloving denial energy of others that my physical body is holding in these parts of me, energy that is not mine and is of reversed polarity.
It is my intent to move any and all unloving energy and Essence that is not mine from my body. From my physical, mental, emotional and etheric bodies and chakras, and to send it back to where it came from or to its right place, so that I can heal all aspects of me.
I just added that I want to transform my own reversed polarity unloving energy that is in the form of an attachment to people places and things. That while I had no conscious intent to harm or over-power, it still is unloving through the unseen role of denial and needs to be transformed. Connections yes, attachments no.
3:45 am – I was just thinking of how I hated my body for being small, weak, different, and unacceptable. I even remember going through a stage where I wanted to change my name, thinking that would change things. I hated my body for being sick, hurt, or injured as if it was my body’s fault for what it was experiencing and for not being able to do what I (my Mind) wanted it to do.
(Again I felt some emotions move briefly.)
I pushed my body even when it was sick or hurt to do what I felt I needed to do, which was to SURVIVE this fucking cruel world. Humph!!! I have to die to live and isn’t that fucked up?
(Now I’m feeling and expressing some anger and rage.)
Whoa! I just realized that I unconsciously kill my essence in order to do what I believe is needed to live. I cut off and deny parts of me that are hurt and wounded so that the rest of me can go on with this illusion called life. WTF! Now I feel numb. I’m in shock at that realization and how close I’ve come to almost having to leave my physical body and the Essence I’ve abandoned and denied, thereby giving Lucifer what he wants.
FUCK THAT! FUCK YOU LUCIFER! You’re not going to win.
I just flashed to the light and dark wizards duel and how I lost a major part of my Essence there. I intend to get those parts back also. I’m getting all parts of me that I’ve denied and lost in all time, and dimensions. I intend to recover all parts of my Being. I will not stop until every last part of me that is out there and being held by unloving light is back into my Essence. I will move any and all unloving light back to whom or where it belongs, to its right place. I no longer accept it in and upon me. I ask for help from Mother and Father and all my guides that are here to assist me to help me in whatever way is appropriate and serves my highest purpose, love, and light.
4:10 am – I just realized that taking medicine, pain relievers, and even chiropractic treatments and massage, etc., and even using heat and baths are unloving and controlling. While it APPEARS you are loving yourself, it is in reality [through the unseen role of denial] actually your mind trying to force the body not to be sick, weak, or in pain.
FUCK this is SUBTLE!
But the underlying intent is still unloving if it’s not what the Body is asking for, but what the Mind wants the Body to do so that it can do what it wants and be happy. It’s more unloving light that is actually the Mind that has been imprinted and program; that it is in control, that it is the master, that it knows what is best for all. I now recognize that it is my light that has reversed its polarity and has become unloving light and has been slowly killing me, although it was unconscious and unaware that it was doing so.
Aha! I realize that by denial, I’ve taken in, accepted; unloving light that has imprinted and programmed my Mind to control the rest of my Being. The more I denied, (what I believed was wrong with me) the more I changed from the loving light I was, to become what I am now. I thought my light was wrong and that this unloving light that I took in was right. That I needed to be like the others in order to live and be happy like them and that is totally FUCKED! My intent is to let go of any and all unloving imprints, programs, and beliefs that would have me reverse my lights polarity, from loving to unloving. I ask for help to become aware when I’m doing this so that I can end this action that has been slowly killing me, as what I desire is life and love.
4:30 am – Having to go to school to learn things so that you can get a job and earn money, to pay for things that enable you to survive for a few years, until you grow sick and old and are of no further use and die. This reality is forced upon us the day we are born. We grow old and these imprints, programs, and beliefs are what we take to the grave, or rather have been. I’m not buying that reality any longer and I let go of those imprints, programs and beliefs.
You force your Mind to control your emotions, and you force your Body to do the things it does not want to do so that the Mind can get what it believes is the power [money] to enable it to do what it thinks it needs and wants to be happy, and to also support the family with shelter, food, clothing, and the pleasures of this so called life. This reality is actually a hideous energy form sucking the life out of our loving Bodies through our denials and willingness to be like them, the “Otherkin,” those that do not belong in this universe and that need to be moved to the right place.
4:40 am – This is somewhat of a rehash of what I went through and know several years ago, but now it takes on a new feeling and meaning. I’m also beginning to feel a new life force rising in me, a new conviction and determination, and new purpose, or maybe it’s just a rekindling of an old flame that has been put aside to finish the books and that part of my journey. Whatever it is, I like it.
4:50 am – I asked my Body to show me what it needs to show me, to move any unloving light that it is holding and help me transform any reversed polarity parts of my light. I asked it also to show me any lost Will energy that it is holding and the unloving energy that is associated with it, so that I can recover lost Will Essence and move out unloving energy.
5:05 am -I closed my eyes and saw several dark forms moving before me. Lucifer, Baal, Melchizedek, and others, hovering over me, cussing and name calling, stating that I can’t do what I’m doing and that they are not through with me, that they will stop me. I smiled as that was what they were saying the last time I was close to a breakthrough. This time I rolled over and went to sleep, and woke up at 9:15 am.
To understand what life is, you need to understand what Death is.
After my massage treatment, I decided to stop in at McDonalds and have a coffee and a muffin. When I went in, I found the people watching TV and standing, waiting to the minute of silence at 11:00 am to remember and honour the Canadian and Commonwealth armed forces killed in WWI and WWII. The counter girl refused to take my order, citing that it was almost time. I don’t believe in the traditions of Remembrance Day, any more than I believe in Xmas, Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, Canada day, etc. etc. so I turned and left.
I decided to drive a few blocks to Giant Tiger and pick up a few items they had on sale. When I walked in, there were people standing at attention waiting for 11:00 am. I was confused. I was going to turn around and leave, but the exit door was on the other side of the store. I started to walk down the aisle and a young female clerk, turned and put up her hand up for me to stop. She gave me a stern look looked and showed me her poppy, and pointed to a TV in the corner of the store. Not wanting to make a scene, although I felt controlled and trapped, I stopped, but casually looked at display bins beside me until the “patriotic” moment was over.
Later when I got home, I was feeling pissed off and I thought I had maybe picked up energy from my massage therapist, McDonalds, or the people at Giant Tiger. I tried to remove them, but it wasn’t them.
In hindsight I realized that it was my denials. What set me up was my confusion when I entered Giant Tiger as I was sure the televised propaganda was over, as they were into it when I was at McDonalds, and when I pulled into Giant Tiger my SUV said it was 11:05 am, so I was sure it was over as it only lasts one minute. Another was that of OBEYING the young woman and observing a patriotic tradition that I no longer believed in, and of not wanting to have her make a scene, and just because it only lasts a minute I also thought it’s no BIG deal, and not something to make a scene about as there were other customers nearby, and some were wearing poppies. It just goes to show that any denial is a BIG deal.
Later, I felt that this experience was just a dry run, a test for things to come, to prepare me that so the next time I experience something that confuses me, and I may think it’s no big deal, and I don’t want to make a scene, I’ll remember this experience and choose not to deny myself again.
PS: So guess what popped up on my Facebook page this morning..? Coincidence? … NOT !
lol
I felt I needed to share this today (2012 Nov 08). There are major changes coming, including a shift in consciousness for those that are awakening. The imprints,programs and beliefs that are presently keeping the old system alive are slowly being exposed for what they are, and the Beast, will try to do everything to maintain control. Denials are ending, and the truth is revealing the unloving corruption that has been in power for eons, and is beginning to collapse.
PS: No, I am NOT a Christian, nor do I follow any organized religion. I do however, take note of certain phrases and passages (in any religion) that strike a chord in me. Later, when I feel more into it, I express what I feel it means to me.
So, what does all this mean? What is the common thread in my previous posts? What I am beginning to see is that there are three basic causes for inflammation to occur in the Body, or rather, that Inflammation is not the problem, it’s the Body’s messenger that there is a problem.
(1) Physical Trauma
(2) Ingested, injected, inhaled contaminates (Food, water, vaccines, air, EMF) Trauma
(3) Emotional Trauma
Now emotional trauma (3) is associated with number (1) and (2) as when one is experiencing these, there is an immediate reaction and a host of strong emotional feelings, most of which are denied expression, Keyword – DENIED. (2) Would have more of a delayed effect, but would eventually have the same emotional response as (1) when the Body responds to whatever is attacking it’s natural healthy way of Being.
In my journey, I’ve discovered that any denied emotional energy is either pushed outside our physical body (fragmentation) or is stored in various parts of the Body. Hummmmm, I just realized that while I’ve worked on healing my fragmentation, but I haven’t really worked on the emotions that are stored in my Body, in my cells and DNA. (Scratching my head, wondering how I’m going to heal this.)
So looking over the list I made, there are two key factors that that need to be explored. They are SHOCK & HABITS. Shock applies mainly to (1) and (3) while Habits applies primarily to (2).
That prompted me to retrieve and open the book, (RIGHT USE OF WILL – Healing and Evolving the Emotional Body). I searched my personal index and on page 5, it says, “Habits are to the Body what judgments are to the Consciousness.” So what I take from that (based on my previous work) is that the Spirit consciousness (Mind) has been in CONTROL of both the Will (Soul) Intuition, feelings and emotions, and the Body. And in both cases, it has denied what it doesn’t want to accept, and only accepts what “feels good.” It sets up judgments (right or wrong, good or bad) on both the Will and Body, more so on the Will, but also on the habits for the Body to keep doing what it likes and makes it feel good. Of course any physical or emotional pain is not desired or accepted, but is quickly DENIED.
And here we go again… LOL … It’s fascinating as I happened to visit my Facebook page and there was a link to the “Hearty Soul” site on feeling stress and how it affects the body. While I don’t agree with everything written, there are some part-truths that need to be explored. Coincidence? Not!
Here is a disturbing link on Social Conformity and how easily we are programed to follow the crowd. Not wanting to be different, centered out, shunned, and not accepted, we all to easily just follow the crowd and in the process, become mindless Sheeple. Afraid to ask questions or to be seen as different, aggressive or negative, we DENY and subdue our true expression and blindly accept the role that peer pressure dictates we play and act out, as if it were our own idea.
When you’ve seen that one, here is another link on The Power of the Uniform, and how we OBEY and follow orders without asking any real questions, or standing up for ourselves or others.
This programming starts with ones parents and their already programmed mind and the customs, traditions and religious beliefs they have. It’s also being pushed in schools, on TV, Radio, magazines, books, and just about anything that has to do with society.
People claim to be awake and even Spiritual, and yet they still hang on to their old religious beliefs and recite dogma and rhetoric at infinitum. They give so little thought to what they are thinking and saying, that I find it amazing that they can even tie their shoe laces. This is a classic example of religious (Christian) meme’s that have I have come across on the internet.
First point.. If these so-called Christians believe that they are a child of a God who is all knowing and powerful, and the creator of mankind and all that exists. That he has created everything for a purpose and reason, even though mortal man can’t comprehend or fathom what that is, except to believe that it is so, based on their religious beliefs.
BUT… Stupid mankind who believes all this, also doesn’t want to accept that what they are experiencing is right or good, and that God has fucked up and made a mistake, and that they know what he (note he, as there is no she in Christian God) should do.
Second point… But even that is screwed up as now they pray to God’s son (Jesus) telling him to help and SAVE them from all that they deem is God’s wrongful and hurtful design. They cast up their hands and wail in mournful prayer, commanding to be saved and healed. Advocating that they don’t have any responsibility or power to change the experiences that they deem undesirable.
Talk about a dumbed down society, religion has to be the number one leader in how to do that, and collect a mass following of sheep, followed closely by politics. As the old saying goes.. “Bullshit baffles brains,” and until people can get their mind to question their old Belief System, or BS as I like to call it, they are doomed to remain as they are. The dilemma one faces when questioning religious BS, is that you will certainly be attacked and admonished for such behavior and will most likely be deemed a blasphemous heathen, bound to burn in hell.
Okay, so now that I’ve shit on this meme PRAYER image, let me say what a person could use this for in a way that would empower them. It’s all about intent and whether it is loving or not. Prayer can be used to tell or command, like in the image above, or it can be used to ask for guidance. If you add the words.. “Help me to…” to the text, that changes the intent to where you take responsibility for your experiences, even though you don’t understand why you are having them, but that you are open to hear what your options might be so that YOU can solve YOUR issues. And to quote the so-called good book, “Ask and ye shall receive.” Food for thought.. Or not
This article was posted by a friend on Facebook, and I was curious as to what it had to say, and why the statement…
Could the Root Cause of Addiction actually be a lack of Connection?
I watched the video and I have to say it’s a yes and no. It has some part truths, but they are mixed in with a whole lot of do-good hype, misinformation and unanswered questions.
The connection and bonding they are really talking about is basically just a quick fix. If the person that had developed this new “bonding” connection is suddenly separated from that SUPPORT, they would probably revert back to their old habit or addiction, or find a new one. As long as they feel wanted, needed and “loved”, they are fine, but to do that, it takes ANOTHER person or GROUP for them to feel that way about themselves. While this approach appears to work for half of the addicts involved, it’s only effective as long as they get the help they feel they want and need. Sometimes, all that is needed for a person that has nothing to cling to but hope, is to be given a chance to rebuild their lives. Sure, they have a job and are considered to be a useful member of society, but again, it doesn’t address the underlying issue as to why they became an addict in the first place.
Abuse and trauma are the same as a painful experience, and just because they are different words, that doesn’t diminish the effect they have on the person having the experience. People that don’t think they have had a traumatic or abusive experience have just denied and shut it out of their conscious mind. Just because you can’t remember, that doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen and is affecting your present experiences. It has been my experience that any so-called unpleasant experiences are directly related to unresolved past traumatic experiences. The cycle is only repeated as a means of a person being given the opportunity to feel and express what they never were allowed or felt they could during their original experience, that imprinted and programmed them to re-act as they do.
When I see these types of meme’s being posted by people that believe them to be true, I know that they are ignorant and haven’t analyzed and felt the true implications of the statement, and that they are in denial of their issues. If that statement were a truth, then applying the most basic logic and reasoning to, “you are not your problem” would also apply to every living person on this planet. If you are not your problem, then by denial, you have to blame everyone and anything outside yourself as the problem.
What you are also doing with that belief is making your happiness dependent on another person, place, or thing. In other words, you are giving your power away as they now CONTROL you. Trying to fix the problem using that Belief System (BS) doesn’t work, no matter how hard you try, it is at best a “quick fix.” So if that doesn’t work, you need to do the reverse or the opposite to try to solve the problem by realizing that the problem is not outside yourself, but inside you. If pushing the door doesn’t open it, maybe pulling it will.
For the universe to make you aware of the issues you have chosen to heal by reincarnating, it needs to bring you experiences that will trigger and activate you. The problem is with your Mind that is still running on its old imprints, programs and beliefs, that until it is aware enough to desire to change, will just keep going in circles, trying to apply the same fuzzy and twisted logic that created the problem, in trying to fix it. With self-awareness comes self-empowerment, and until you choose to end your denials and look at you as being the problem to your issues, nothing changes.
For all those that are wanting a “Quick Fix” to heal their emotions….. here is a link to four things you can do.. NOTE: I said QUICK FIX… 
I copied this from a Facebook post a friend made. It’s another example of how society thinks denial can solve the problems in their life.
You don’t get rid of those that are negative (reversed polarity – not loving essence) by keeping your distance, you get rid of them, or rather, they distance themselves from you when you confront them, by speaking your truth.. A simple, “what is your intent?” is enough to start this process.
Food for thought – or Not!
Yet another powerful image I found on the internet. These imprints, programs and beliefs form the foundation of what and who you presently think you are, and also your worth and value as a human Being.
It’s time to awaken to your true identity.
Food for thought… or NOT…
I found this image-text on the internet and felt I needed to share it on my blog as it has a powerful message. While it has a message, if it doesn’t make you ask a ton of questions, it’s of no value to you.
Why do I say that?
Now if you had thoughts as to why I would say something like that, then your consciousness is beginning to stir and you are entering what I call the quickening, the precursor to awakening.
You started asking… now keep asking… and by the way; don’t be satisfied with one of your old Belief System (BS) answers… Question them too.
Food for thought… or not…
This is the current image-text definition of cognitive dissonance that is flooding the internet. The original definition of cognitive dissonance is when you know the truth, but have been “persuaded” to change your mind, and accept and promote the lie as the truth. The most common examples can be found in politics and religion.
This is a video from the mid 1950’s that explains, by example, what cognitive dissonance is and HOW it is created… As you can see, this modern definition twists that into something entirely different. The meaning of cognitive dissonance has now been changed, just like the word psychopath and been changed to sociopath.. Don’t be fooled by word or definition changes. Bullshit is still bullshit, even if you call it a mud pie.
Politics and religion are indeed bedfellow. Politicians claim to look after your best interests in your physical life, while religions claim to do so in the afterlife, when you die. Of course, both want something from you for their “services.” Not only do they want your blood, sweat, tears and money; they also want your undying loyalty and devotion to their dogma and cause. As long as the sheeple believe what they, the politicians and religions are selling, they are not only trapped and become slaves to their beliefs, but also controlled by the dictators they admire and adamantly defend, even with their lives.
Doing a little catch up here, not completely, but an important experience.
On Dec 03, A woman went through a red light and I T-boned her GMC Yukon with my 2000 Honda CRV. I was taken to hospital, X-rayed and released.
Now to my story……..
Well I’m slowly finding out what the car accident was all about, and that it was yet another step in healing and also in manifesting.. The woman that ran the red light had no intent to run it, and to cause me pain and suffering, it was just a momentary lapse of awareness, and it happened because it was meant to happen, for her benefit and mine, although at the time, it didn’t feel that way, and that is because there is more to it, things that had to unfold, to be experienced.
Now the medical system and the insurance company added to my plight and during all this I felt I had no choice, and that I had to just accept what happened as fate, what I deserved for whatever reason.. The insurance company doing their best to reimburse me as little as possible. BTW, in all this self hatred, guilt and shame had no voice, and this is interesting as I will now get to that.
For days, I searched the internet (Kijiji) and after some 90 possible vehicles, and 9 different makes, I decided on three, Hyundai, Mitisubishi and Honda Element, and then narrowed it down to 2005-2006.. Before I contacted any, I looked to see what the car dealers had in Woodstock, and just to see how it felt, I test drove a 2007 Hyundi that was way over priced… On Dec. 11, I contacted the dealer selling a 2006 Hyundai and made arrangements to see the following day.
Now we get to the next phase. Little did I know that it just so happened, that another person in the scheme of things, also had a momentary lapse in awareness and had entered the retail price of the 2006 Santa Fe wrong. Instead of $7,995, they entered $5,995. That mistake didn’t cause me pain an suffering, in fact, the reverse. Now to add to this, the sales lady never picked up on the error, and also offered me an additional $1,000 off the vehicle.. It was only when she pulled the file to write it up my purchase, that she spotted the error.
She said we had to wait for the accountant to come back from lunch, so while I waited, she was talking to other staff. She also asked if she could see the copy of the company web page I had printed and taken with me that showed the listed price, that I had previously shown her. I didn’t know what was going on until later, when she put the folder on her desk and I saw the price in the top right had corner. I was confused and didn’t ask, and she didn’t say anything was wrong, so when the accountant came in, I signed on the dotted line and gave them a deposit. My vehicle had yet to be safetied and e-tested and I was told it would be ready on Tuesday.
Now when I left the dealer, GUILT and SHAME were all over me, saying I was bad, that what I did was wrong, that I should go back and make things right. That I was stealing, that someone is going to get into trouble if I didn’t, and yadda yadda yadda. As all this was going on, I knew I had no intent to steal, and I also had no intent to do as GUILT and SHAME wanted me to do and that was to SAVE another or to reimburse the company. Guilt is NOT love or loving..
I find it amazing how the universe responds when you ask to heal your issues and move forward. It might not be in the way you think it should be, and it will be painful, BUT, if you look deeper, you always find the hidden gem, the part of you that now is set free. In this case, that I deserve to be happy, and that I am not responsible to make other people happy, and that what they do, or don’t do is their choice. Everything happens for a reason, and of the 90 vehicles I could have looked at, this happened with the very first one I was really interested in and bought. Coincidence.. NOT 🙂
PS:
More realizations are coming up. The dealer and its employees did what they did and sold me the vehicle, either because they were afraid I would sue them, or they genuinely felt that I deserved a break. It’s not for me to question their decision or to alter it as GUILT would have me do, but to accept it as their choice… And that it’s my choice not to follow GUILT as some misguided form of love, of being nice, kind, considerate, compromising, ethics, principles, morality, righteousness, or religious values and judgments etc, etc..
11:45 am While my first thought about having the accident was that I had no choice, that I was the innocent victim, when I really think and feel into it, I realize that (on a Spiritual level) I made an agreement with the woman to have the accident and she with me. Not that the accident was the lesson, but that it would open the doors for what I needed to touch and heal.. So instead of blaming the woman, what I now feel is gratitude and love…
For those that don’t really know me, what I’m doing here is sharing my healing process and journey.. The trials and tribulations I need to go through before I “get it” and am able to move on to the next mountain I need to climb..
Today a Facebook friend uploaded the following You Tube video..
Monty Python And The Holy Grail – Help Help I’m Being Repressed
It’s no coincidence that I saw this today as I was previously thinking the same thing, or on the same lines… I was thinking of how we are drawn into giving our power away by our beliefs. Like in this movie, the people believed that they had no ruler and served no king. The king could say what he wanted, but it didn’t matter to them, in fact, they admonished him.
That is how we are going to create a new World, by letting go of our old imprints, programs and beliefs. Once we no longer have them, (and I don’t mean deny them) then those that now have power over us will be powerless. Not that we will over-power them, as that is also no longer in our belief system.. It will be a whole new world.
I just thought of it.. I might just have found the Holy Grail.. lol.. LMAO. The Universe does have a sense of humor…
This is another picture/word message that I got off the internet. The original image words, “The death of the ego will be the beginning of your real life,” is a part truth. As you can see, I’ve “altered” the image (no pun intended.) 🙂
The following article is taken from my soon to be published second book titled, “My Journey – Three Levels of Healing – Feeling, healing and understanding.” The old “pre-published edition” can be downloaded ( free) from my website at http://shenreed.com/index.html
Our Ego has gotten a bum rap in that it’s our Ego that defines who we are. Our ego is unique; it separates you from me and all the others. The problem is not our Ego but our Altered Ego, altered by our imprints, programs and beliefs and by the many other voices (internal and external) that tell it that it must do this or that to either be accepted or to be in control. Little does the Mind realize that in listening to these other voices, that it’s being altered and controlled. The altered ego is the fake persona or personality that is in a position of power and control as it is not only in control of our Mind, but also the rest of our Being. It also strives to extend its influence and dominate the environment around it, be it people, places or things. The Altered ego is the individual that searches for acceptance and approval outside itself. It strives for success and recognition and defines who they are by their status, achievements, possession, wealth and power. There is also the opposite end where the individual will appear to be a powerless, helpless victim, but it is all an act in that by being considered a victim, they are actually dictating and controlling others around them.
The trouble is that while our Ego is altered, it is also disconnected from our Higher Self Spiritual source. Instead of communicating with our Higher Self, our Ego is being controlled by the unloving voices of the Inner Critic, guilt, shame and denied rage, to name a few. I’m sure that you’ve had several conversations with your Inner Critic when it is telling you what you should or shouldn’t do. Once you begin to end your denials, the inner voices also begin to be silenced and your Ego then begins to communicate with your Higher Self, and that’s when life gets interesting. Your Ego, your true self wants to free itself of the unloving grip of its old imprints, programs and beliefs and also of any unloving energy that has been, and is trying to control it.
A rather simplistic way to look at our Ego is to compare it and ourselves to a tree. While a tree can be one of millions of similar species in a forest, it’s still unique and has its own consciousness. If it were to try to become another tree, to have a different bark, leaves or fruit, or if it wanted to be bigger or change its position, then there would be issues, not only for it, but also for the other trees in the forest that it would affect as it tries to control and change its environment. Another simplistic, but classic example of an altered ego can be found in the tale of “The Ugly Duckling,” by Hans Christian Andersen.
This is a graphic and symbolic representation of how humanity has put value and emphasis of importance on the Mind and its thoughts and beliefs…
We are a Spiritual Being having a physical experience. We have four parts to our Being; Spirit (Mind), Soul (Will – intuition, feelings and emotions) Heart and then form or our physical Body, and although they are separate aspects, they are all connected and function as one. Presently, it’s the Mind that is in CONTROL of the other parts of our being, and as you can see, there is no BALANCE in that.
In order for balance to return, our Mind needs to stop being the dictator and let go of being in a position of power and in control of the other parts of our Being. To do that, it needs to let go of its old imprints, programs, beliefs and judgments of what is best for the rest of its Being. It needs to challenge its old beliefs, not defend them.
I saw this picture posted on Facebook and felt I needed to make a comment. The words of this BS (Belief System) are a truth, but only as long as you are in denial and have chosen to remain the victim. Even though you no longer appear to re-act to what they say or do, that doesn’t mean that you are not being triggered. All it proves is that you’ve learned to be a better actor or actress. Being nice, kind, caring, sharing, understanding, co-operative, compromising, etc., to others when you feel pressured and controlled to do so, either by them or by your beliefs, is not loving to yourself or to them. There are countless reasons why people subject themselves to being the victim, but none are valid or loving to self. It’s important to note that the way people treat you is a reflection of the way you are treating yourself. Change yourself, and the outer reflection will also change.
Denying what is happening is not changing yourself, as it hasn’t addressed the underlying issues. Once you have intent to find and heal your issues as to why people treat you the way they do, you will change and will no longer be activated and re-acting, but will instead, respond to them in whatever way and manner you feel directed to oppose any such further abuse. Once you have stated your response in a honest and forthright manner, they will change and will no longer be attacking you, as they will have gotten your message loud and clear. Of course, they may no longer want to be your friend or whatever relationship they had with you, as you are no longer willing to be the victim and controlled by them. If that comment brings up issues, then that also needs to be addressed as that attachment is part of the reason you are a victim and being treated the way you are.
2013 March 13 I just realized that people put on a mask or cloak of the company or agency that they are working for. As long as they are working and getting paid (rewarded) to do their job, they feel obliged to conform and carry out the rules and duties of their employer. If the person were to take off their uniform or corporate cloak and talk to other non-cloaked human beings, they would act differently.
It’s an illusion. We live in a world where people become what the corporation (a fictitious entity) led by a person or persons that are also wearing a mask or cloak, wants us to be. The result is that it creates our present reality, which in most cases, is unloving. This is especially true in government, military, religions, media, education, etc. The imprints, programs and beliefs are so ingrained in our psyche that it is difficult, and next to impossible to even identify that we’re wearing a mask, a cloak, as it is so interwoven into our daily activities, like walking and talking, where we are not consciously aware of each step we take or word we speak. We think we are normal and natural, totally oblivious to the fact that we are controlled by our imprints programs and beliefs to such a point that we have no concept of what and who we really are. Our reality is like what Shakespeare said in,
“As you like it,” Act II Scene VII
All the world’s a stage,
All the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
December 3 Monday, On Saturday night Paul was in his room smoking weed and playing loud music until just past 11:00 pm. On Sunday morning, he and his girlfriend went out for breakfast and when they returned they smoked up again. I was getting a headache and decided to get out of the house for a while. I went downstairs to put on my shoes and his girlfriend was vacuuming the carpet by the front door. As I put my shoes on, I sarcastically said to her that Paul must really have a sore hand today with all the pot that he’s been smoking. She looked puzzled at first but then got to gist of my words as he had told me he only smokes because his right hand hurts and has arthritis. After supper, they smoked another doobie. It’s like now that I’m moving out, he doesn’t care what he does . I’ve also noticed that when I’m around him and he knows he’s did something, like smoking weed in the house, he whistles or hums which is also a sign of being activated and in denial.
Today, a roommate that was returning from work brought in a hand-delivered letter that had been stuck in the front door, and put it on the kitchen counter. I glanced at it and saw that it was from the local hydroelectric company and had the word URGENT stamped on it in big red letters. It was addressed to the owner and in the lower right hand corner of the address box, I could clearly see the words arrears and disconnect in bold red letters. For him to get such a letter, he has to be a good 2 to 3 months behind in payment. A couple of weeks ago, it was the Internet that was cut off, and now this. That makes me wonder what else is he behind in paying, his mortgage?
It’s interesting that all this is happening as I’m observing that he has a self-centered frat boy mentality and only pretends to be interested in other people if it serves his purpose. While he has a construction type job where he says he is making $25.00/hour, he is just in it for whatever money he can make to help keep him in his life style. I assume that it’s not enough because he also has three room-mates that help pay the bills. What he really likes is just to have fun with his buds, get high, have some drinks, get laid, play sports, add bling to his car, and pretend he has all the money in the world. His girlfriend, that I’ve talked to and call Cinderella, is his lover and mother figure as she picks up after him and cleans the house, while he busies himself looking over his stuff. Besides smoking, he is also brushing his teeth in the kitchen sink again as well as dirty dishes in the sink and on the counter. l know he isn’t stupid, and that what he is doing or not doing is what he has learned and has gotten away with as being acceptable behavior and all this self-centeredness is compounded by the use of pot, hard liquor and beer that clouds his thinking, reasoning and problem solving abilities.
I happened to catch a bit of a war program on TV and the words that caught my attention were, “the fear of power, and the power of fear.” I feel there is a fine line between the two as the fear of power, of having power and being in control can be just as debilitating as being in fear of being overpowered. Part of the fear of power is in having the responsibility associated with the wrong use of it. The mind tries to find some balance in one’s life, in order to survive without becoming a tyrant. They are constantly weaving their way through and around any potential problems to avoid unpleasant confrontations in which they consider themselves as harming others, or where others feel they are being controlled and harmed. There is also of fear of being wrong associated with the fear of having power
The power of fear similar that in order to have fear, one must have experienced a situation where one felt overwhelmed, overpowered and helpless to change the situation. Being imprinted and programmed, the person now lives in constant fear of the unknown, projecting and expecting to experience what they fear, and looking for ways to avoid encountering it. The persons fear is their weakness as they will always be afraid that what they fear will be used against them.
In going through my stuff, I had picked up an old business card from a Doctor I visited when I was out West. I noticed the name of the Health care centre (clinic) that he worked out of at the top of the card, but what caught my attention wasn’t the name, but the caption underneath it that read,
“A Revolution in Health Care”
I thought about it for a few seconds and realized that any REVOLUTION doesn’t really change anything as a revolution by definition is simply a rotation of 360 degrees, a complete circle or cycle ending back at the same point. While it’s true that people, places and things can change with each revolution, what doesn’t change are the basic thoughts, ideas, imprints, programs and beliefs that the people have. When people feel they are being controlled and over-powered, they seek to overthrow those they feel are in a position of power so that they can become the ones in power and in control. So in reality there is only a change in form.
Later I thought that what we need is not a revolution, to overthrow the powers to be, but an evolution, a letting go of all our old imprints, programs and beliefs that will then enable us to create what we really desire in a totally new way, from a new blueprint. Humanity needs to awaken to a new awareness of themselves and all that is around them. To see themselves for who they really are, and not what they think and believe they are and what society presently projects they should be or try to be. They need to become aware that they are a Spiritual Being having a physical experience, and not just a physical Body coping as best they can with the life they are experiencing, and waiting for death to become a spiritual Being and have a better life. Humanities thinking is all backwards.
