Says 237 – Heart speaks to Spirit (Mind)

237-heart-mindDec 01 3:35 pm – I began what I thought would be a meditation and suddenly became aware that my Heart was talking to my Spirit (Mind). I’m writing this after the fact as I didn’t want to disrupt the dialogue. Heart was asking it to stop running and busying itself with things that didn’t matter and to do what it says it wants to do, that of healing the Body and Will and that every time the real issues are brought up, it runs and distracts itself.

What Spirit is afraid of is DEATH and so a weak, ill and hurting Body is a sign that death is near and as Spirit has never experienced death as the Will (Soul) and Body have, it is terrified to even try to understand what is happening and why, and how its denials of the Will and Body have been causal and have created the illness, injury and aging and the slow decent toward death.

It’s time that Spirit honor its INTENT to heal the Will and Body and to see and feel what it has never seen and felt because it was afraid it would not survive if it did. But now, if it doesn’t, there is a good chance that it will just keep repeating the cycle of reincarnation.

237-every-issues-in-the-bodyHearts message was that it is also time to heal all aspects of our Being, Will, Body, Heart and Spirit that has also lost Essence, power, gifts and talents. That it is now time to accept all things that Spirit has feared, rejected, denied and cut off from its love and light. All lost parts of the Will are scattered and held in the Body. That where Spirit and Spirit Heart had judgments on the Will and Body, that there are either only partial connections there or none at all and only Heartlessness and indifference. There was no bonding and so there isn’t any love or life in these areas, only unlovingness and mistrust.

I can’t remember all that was said as I just went with the flow and was feeling and expressing any emotions that were coming up. But afterwards, I did feel a shift in energy, now how it plays out will need to be seen and felt.

Says 82 – Getting organized – Generation Gap

2012 Sept 02 Sunday, I never bought any food on Saturday as I hadn’t been able to talk to Nancy or Frank as to where I could put my stuff in the refrigerator, as well as where I was going to store my non perishable food stuff. I talked to Nancy this morning after they got up around noon and she gave me some cupboard and fridge space, enough to keep my basics. Other foodstuff and some of my utensils I can keep in a cupboard in my room.

2012 Sept 07 Friday It’s kind of weird as the two young people that also room here usually eat when and what Frank and Nancy eat. No one eats breakfast and supper isn’t until 8:30 – 9:00 at night. It’s like a communal kitchen, but where it’s Nancy (depending on what shift she works) or Frank that does the cooking, and Frank doesn’t get home until after 8:30pm, and the young ones just wait until supper is ready. The young guy make spaghetti for himself the other day, but he didn’t just make one of two servings, he used the whole package, enough for 10 people, and then he stuffed the pot in the fridge as leftover’s. He then eats at it during the day for days, trying to get rid of it as no one else wants it. He told me I could help myself, but I already had my spaghetti feed a day before he made his, so I wasn’t interested.

I’ve also noticed that the two young people seem lost. They both have jobs, but they are in their own little world that doesn’t include the basics of living and caring for themselves. It’s just like they are large toddlers. They leave their bedroom door open at times and I can’t help but notice how littered and messy the rooms are. When they use the bathroom, whatever falls on the counter or floor, stays there, same goes for the kitchen and even the patio. Maybe it’s just the three generation gap at work, but there seems to be this hopelessness or indifference that is reflected, not only by their rooms, but in their general attitude. They look clean and as normal as present teens can be when they go out, as that is the public perception that they want to portray, but that is not what they are really like. The young guy had his girlfriend (mother figure) over the other day and she cleaned up his room, but a few hours after she left, he had things on the floor again.

The other part of the generation gap is with Frank and Nancy as they are in their later 40’s and are consumed with their jobs, Nancy working a rotating three shift schedule, mornings, afternoons and nights, while Frank works 8 am to 8 pm, 7 days a week. Both of them have very little time for each other, or to do things around the house, other than prepare meals and clean up after the toddlers. Nancy also tries to be this cool mother figure to them, cleaning up after them (once a week) and driving them to the store to get beer, cigarettes, or maybe some food. I know the young ones are also smoking weed, but they’re not toking up in the house or yard. They are what they are, and I just do my own thing.

I don’t know what these young kids would do if no one cleaned up after them or prepared their meals and did their laundry. They are like a hoarder or litterbug that would eventually be living in and eating their own excrement. I’m not saying that one needs to be a clean freak, BUT!….

Ahhh! I just got it… It’s all about choice. People are going to be toddlers and litterbugs as long as there are people that are willing to mother them, to pick up after them and take care of them. It’s all about power and control and of course, denial, free Will and choice.

Nancy hooked up my internet, (25 character password). Apparently, the TV and movies are also available via the computer but that hasn’t been activated as yet. I don’t rally miss TV….

Says 15 – Stopping the cycle of death and reincarnation

February 18 7:15 AM So in order to stop the cycle of death and reincarnation, and to bring all the presently untapped physical senses into reality, Spirit (Mind) has to begin to not only accept what the Body, Will and Heart are feeling in the present moment, but to also feel what happened to them  in the past. Spirit needs to go where it has never gone before and experience what it thinks will kill it, to a place where Will/Body were abandoned and left to die. It’s Body (form) that holds the most denials as even the Will gradually has to leave it, not that she wanted to, but she had no choice.

Feb 18 1:10 PM Not that all of Heart left after Spirit left, as only the part of Heart that is Spirit polarized left, leaving the Will polarized part of Heart to die along with Body and Will. I just felt the heartbreak of both Spirit polarity Heart in having to leave the Body/Will, and the Will polarity of itself and how he felt he had no choice, and how Will polarity Heart, felt broken, betrayed, alone and a host of other feelings and emotions. Will polarity Heart was also trapped in a dying Body and quickly losing consciousness, meaning that the physical heart and circulatory system and blood were also dying, and in the process, cutting off possibility of physical life from the rest of the Body.

This is horrible! What a fucking heartbreaking waste!  I don’t know what else I can call it as there are just too many feelings and words to describe what I just felt. It’s all based on imprinting that goes back to the very beginning, to original Cause.

Before you can know what life is, you need to know what death is.

To know what love is, you need to know what is not love.

If any part of us is in denial of another part of ourselves, that part being denied is receiving death.  So how can we call what we are experiencing life, when a part of us is dying? Cutting off parts of us that are dying only means that we are losing more consciousness and essence. Eventually Spirit, that is electric in nature, also dies because without the Wills Magnetic essence there is no longer the compliment of forces necessary for Spirit/Will to co-exist. Without the Yin, there is no Yang.

Says 14 – Body carrying the (LOAD = Lies, Omission, Avoidance, Denial)

February 18 6:25 AM I was thinking about death and how Spirit (Mind) has never experienced what our Body and Will have experienced. When a person dies, it’s the Spirit (life force) that leaves first, and then, within a few seconds, Heart (represented by our physical heart) stops and with that, there is no longer any flow of the life force to nourish the Body.

The Will, being magnetic in nature, doesn’t leave the Body immediately, nor does she want to as life is what she desires, but without Spirit presence, to animate Body with life, the Body cannot exist in the form it had. Without Spirit, the Will is slowly forced to leave the Body, and as she leaves, the parts of the Body begin to return to the original essence and elements that it was made from. One thing I need to mention is that just because Spirit and Heart have left the Body/Will, that doesn’t mean that the Body’s  and Will’s ability to feel and sense what is going on has stopped, as only Body’s ability to move and respond has ceased to function. It can still feel pain in all those parts that still have Will presence, it just can’t move and respond to them.

It’s like a person that is in a coma and while they are unable to communicate, they are totally aware of what is going on, they just can’t move their eyes, speak, or even move their finger to show they are alive and aware of their surroundings and the physical and emotional pain they are in. A person in a coma still has some part of their Spirit essence in their Body as it hasn’t totally decided to leave, yet. It has lifted most of it’s essence and consciousness, except for what is needed to keep the body/Will alive.  Heart presence is still in the Body to maintain the flow of life essence. Left unattended, the person would be unable to feed or care for themselves and unless Spirit chose to return, a slow and agonizing dying process would follow until such time that Spirit did leave and Body/Will would feel abandoned, unloved, rejected, and heartbroken.

I just felt and realized that while Spirit has never experienced what Body and Will have, that there is a part of Heart essence that has remained and experienced an aspect of dying. Although this part of Heart has momentarily remained, it has only experienced Spirit leaving and only the very beginning of the emotional and physical pain that the Will and Body was feeling, as when it felt its terror of death, it was quick to follow Spirit. Spirits terror is to experience dying and death, as life is what it is, and Heart has similar issues. When Spirit (Mind) says that death is nothing, it is only nothing to Spirit because Spirit has never experienced it, so there was NO THING to experience.

Humm? This relates back to the beginning of how Spirit is in terror of losing any part of the Body’s FULL sensations, especially sight, and sound, as then it is in the dark, the unknown, and left to the remaining senses, of touch, taste and smell, feeling crippled and powerless.

Loss of the physical senses and the body’s physical abilities of its youth terrify the Spirit and is in part, the cause of aging, as Spirit tries to deny what has happened to Body as a result of the experiences it, and the Will have had to endure without the acceptance and help from Spirit. All the times when Spirit/Will/Body/Heart were confronted with traumatic experiences, Spirit did what it thought it needed to do in order to survive, by cutting off and denying the parts of itself, it’s Will, (feelings and emotions) as well as Body sensations.  It’s all these denials, (denied reversed energy) that the body is forced to hold and carry. It’s the LOAD (Lies, Omission, Avoidance, Denial)  that gradually weighs down the Body, causing it to move and react slower and not heal like it once did , and to also diminish its senses.  That’s when Spirit begins to become aware of the things it doesn’t like about the Body, which only adds to the denials that the Body is forced to hold, thus accelerating the process of illness and aging.

Note: In looking for an autopsy picture to use on my blog post I happened upon this picture and then followed it to the main website.  If you want to see and feel what a medical team does to a Body that is still alive, but can’t move, then visit this site.

I must warn you, the pictures are very graphic and disturbing.

Says 13 – The Body and its five senses

2012 Feb 17 The Bodies sensations of sight, sound, taste, touch and smell are very much like the Will, in that they can differentiate between what is pleasant and what is not pleasant, loving and unloving. This is most evident with the senses of taste, touch and smell, as the Mind has formed judgments that override the input of sight and sound, with sight being the most overridden, as in the expression, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” This overriding of our Will, and Body is what is learned through our experiences.

Before I wrote the above paragraph, I was thinking of my hearing problem, and how I had difficulty hearing my brother last night when he came to visit me. I thought how strange and empty my world would be without sound and the ability to hear all the sounds I presently hear. I then closed my eyes and thought of all the objects, shapes, colors that would disappear if I also lost my sight, and how helpless I would be trying to make our my around and function.

All five of our senses have special properties that allow us to experience reality in different ways, and to lose even one would have a profound effect on our lives. For me, the senses I most value, in order of importance would be sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. I feel there are even more physical senses that we possess, it’s just that we don’t know how, or we can’t use them at the present moment. I feel they are much like how we can use technology to expand our awareness, but we would not need technology to experience them, as we would be able to have these abilities naturally.

Says 09 – My Body is trying to tell me something!

2012 Feb 05 Sunday 7:45 am I’m not feeling well. I have a cold, stuffy nose, sore throat, earache and my hearing is partially blocked in my left ear. I also feel sick to my stomach, tired, exhausted and weak. As I was feeling all these things in my body, I also felt how my Mind does not like what it feels. It wants the body to be fine, healthy, active, useful, and is disappointed with the Body when it can’t do what the Mind wants it to do. The Minds rejection of the Body is similar to its rejection of the Will (intuition, feelings and emotions) when it doesn’t like what the Will is feeling and so it rejects and denies her.

This is why there is an alliance between the Will and Body as the Body and Will both feel things and sensations. When the feelings and sensations are pleasant, the Mind (Spirit) has acceptance for them, but when they are not pleasant or don’t agree with what the Mind desires, or expects, the Mind rejects and denies them. When the Mind (Spirit) rejects the Will or Body, what they receive is not Spirits light, but either a mix of light and denial, or total rejection and denial. Denial is nothing, is death. So when the Mind does not like what it feels from the Will/Body polarity it is, by its non-acceptance, giving them denial and death to hold in their energy field.

The more the Mind denies, the more the Body becomes sick and ages and the more numb the Mind feels, thinking that numb is better than the unpleasantness it would feel if it accepted what the Body and Will was telling it. The Body gets sick and ages as it is not only holding the Minds denial energy of the Body, but also the Minds denial energy of the Will, as this energy has no place else to go, as the Mind will not accept it and allow it to be expressed (released). Showing illness and aging is also the Bodies way of showing the Mind what it is being forced to hold by the Minds denials and the more the mine hates and denies what the Body reflects, the more is being shown.

What used to give the Mind pleasure was the body sensations of sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch along with an adrenaline rush and sexual orgasm. But with all the repeated denials through time this has since accounted for the Body’s diminished ability to respond in the same manner it did when it was younger, and holding less denial. All of the body’s ability to provide pleasure for the Mind have gradually diminished. It can’t see, hear, taste or touch like it used to and the Body is not as agile and quick so it can’t do the things that used to give it an adrenaline rush, and the sexual drive of youth and orgasm has also diminished. All these negative issues also leave the Body with Minds judgments on the Body of what’s the use. I’m getting old. I’m no good, useless. I’m not wanted, not desired, and the list goes on and on. These are similar judgments that the Mind has given the Will that is also denied and rejected.

So how do I heal this?

  • Do I need to feel everything that the body is holding and feeling?
  • Do I need to find a release to judgments the mind has on the Body?
  • Do I need to go back in time to find the original cause?

I’ve gone blank

I don’t feel that it’s only acknowledging what the body is feeling now, but also going back like I did/do with the Will to find the original cause.