Daily Archives: 2012/10/03

Says 89 – Signed up for Ballroom dancing

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Last week I signed up for ballroom dancing and tonight will be my first lesson. I had signed up as a single and a couple of days ago I got a call stating that they had a partner for me so it’ll be interesting to see how it works out. It’s not International ballroom that I took a few years ago, but American, and it’s just for social dancing.

Well I just got back and it was both interesting and fun. There were six couples taking the beginner class and while the woman teaching is not a professional, I think it will be okay. My partners name is Sharon, an older woman that says she took basic ballroom last year but it doesn’t feel like she really got the hang of it. The instructor came over and asked me if I taken lessons before and I told her I did. She say she noticed, as I definitely had the rumba rhythm.

Says 88 – What’s with the kids now a days?

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September 13 Thursday I share the main floor bathroom with two young people, a woman and man both in their early 20’s, and last night I unplugged the toilet for the third time since I’ve been here. Fed up, I decided to post a note on the bathroom mirror stating that if you didn’t use so much toilet paper, the toilet wouldn’t get plugged and also not flush Q-tips down the toilet. It’s not like they are toddlers, as both are old enough to know how to unplug it as the plunger is right behind the toilet. While they are in their 20’s, they act like toddlers, as they just drop and spill things without picking them up and their rooms are what I call a disaster, with clothes and food laying helter-skelter on their furniture and floor.

At around 1:15 AM, Kyle came in and it was his slamming his bedroom door that woke me up. I tried to go back to sleep and just when I was drifting off, he went to the washroom, slamming the door as he was leaving his room, then slamming the bathroom door, entering and leaving, and then slamming his own door again when he went back to his room. I got up and opened my door and called out in a sarcastic tone, “Can you make any more noise you f**king ass hole?” He never said a word. I went to the washroom and then tried to go back to sleep, but it took a while.

This morning I noticed he got up at 11 AM. I saw him as I was going out of the kitchen, but before I could say anything, he rushed by me and went outside to have a cigarette. I didn’t follow him as I felt what’s the use. I really don’t get what it is with some of the 20+ year olds as they seem to be in their own little world and oblivious to other people around them, unless it is for something they want. Maybe I’m just getting old, but I feel that if left to fend for themselves, they would die.

Says 87 – Hate and Compassion

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2012 Sept 10 Hate, like love, is energy and when you hate a person, place or thing you are projecting a part of your energy (unlovingness) toward that which you hate. This energy (thought form) goes out and attacks the person, place or thing and tries to form an attachment to it as a means of having power and control over it. If the person that is being attacked is in denial, an attachment is created and when that happens, they are literally feeding the other person their energy, as well as drawing the unloving energy that is being directed at them, into their Body. You know you have an attachment when you feel depressed and angry and you body will feel tired, drained and sore, etc., as well as having this person in your thoughts. If they are of unloving intent and have activated you, and you have gapped and gone into denial, then they thrive on your fear as that is sending them your energy (food) as that keeps them going, keeps them alive.

If you have intent to end this hatred that is being directed at others, you need to become aware of when you are being activated and triggered into this denied rage and hatred and then find the source of this hatred energy and release it. If you have intent to heal and end the hatred that is being directed at you, and your fear of confronting that hatred, you also need to find the source of your fear and release it, and in the process, heal that part of you. But, there is always a but. This is not as simple as it seems as there are also issues of denied terror and heartbreak that also have to be touched and healed for true healing to take place.

Compassion I was doing my exercises this morning and thought of a friend and how I’ve been noticing her moving further and further away, meaning having less and less mental awareness and consciousness. I know there is nothing I can do to save her, as she has free Will and must make the choice to save herself. Even if I tried to pull her out of her downward spiral, she would either fight to resist me, or, if she responded, it would only be as long as I was supporting her and as soon as I let go, she would drift back down again as she has no intent to change the heart to do it.

I then thought of the word compassion and that it’s knowing that you can’t help a person, and that you just have to let them go. That’s different than being in a situation where you know you can help another, like grabbing someone that is preoccupied and about to walk in front of a moving bus. You respond in the moment and then, what they do or don’t do after that moment is their choice. Is example is by no means the only form of compassion and while they are different situations, what is similar in all is that there is no attachment to the person, place or thing.