I was watching a documentary on 20 / 20 about Tourettes syndrome  and I found it interesting that they said that the symptoms usually appeared in children around the ages of 5 – 9 and then carry on into adult life, although it decreased with age.  I watched as they followed a few children around their daily activities and saw how they functioned, as well as how the medical community was dealing with their symptoms that they acknowledged were stress related, for which they gleefully prescribed drugs as a treatment. The children not only had to deal with Tourettes, but also the drugs and their sides effects.  The doctors also suggested that the parents, who were stressed by the child’s outbreaks, should ignore any emotional displays and tantrums that the child exhibits. Even writing this pisses me off. I could just take the fucking doctors and psychiatrists and shake them until their heads fall off.  Ignorant and arrogant fuckers.

The attacks were usually activated by a loud noise, voice, crowd, or a physical touch. The activated person would then respond verbally, or physically, but not in a way that could be understood. By that I mean that they would either cough, bark like a dog, or make other animalistic sounds, or they would howl, tweet, shriek, or utter high pitched notes, snap their fingers,or they would cuss and swear as a form of verbal release. The other form of expression was a physical release (tics) where their body would momentarily freeze up and if it was mild, they would simply go into rolling or blinking their eyes a few times, or they would explode in a variety of convulsive type movements and gestures.  Some would exhibit the symptoms of OCD or ADHD and would repeat physical movements or habits for as long as they were being activated. Others would hit themselves or pull their hair as a form of self-punishment. Still others would express their denied rage by throwing a temper tantrum, or by flying into a verbal barrage of cuss and swear words and gestures aimed at those that they felt were attacking them..

As the documentary progressed I could feel  that it was their denied terror that was moving in the only way that it was allowed any expression in that moment.  Something happened to them as a  child that traumatized them and the only way they could feel safe to release the pressure of the emotions they were feeling was to ACT it out in a way that would not be understood and cause more trauma. Hence, whenever they would be activated by a similar experience to the one that traumatized them, they would go off into their non-sensible verbal and physical emotional expressions.

A few days later, I happened to be chatting with a guy in a facebook group on healing emotions. As he shared his form of emotional release, I immediately knew he had Tourettes. He was very defensive at first, but then admitted his issue and we got into a discussion. He stated that when he was terrified, that total panic would set in and that he would flip out, meaning that his Body would go off into all sorts of physical gymnastics and he would momentarily leave his Body. He said he felt a sense of relief and that it was so good to get out of his Body as what he was feeling was driving him crazy.  He also stated that he felt terror of having to go back, but not as much as he did before he gapped.  This was a man in his 30-40’s and while he said his symptoms were now a lot better than they were as a child, he was still faced with the possibility of flipping out at any time. When asked if he had traced his emotional trauma back to his childhood he became defensive again.  The only reason that Tourettes seems to disappear with age is that is just had years of denial and learned forms of avoiding the situations that triggered the re-action.

This is not the documentary I was watching, but a YouTube video on Tourettes…